Matt Casey's nieces and nephew

Chapter 34

A/N: Okay, so I changed my mind. I'm going to write about the last episode because knowing Chicago Fire they won't show Casey's recovery time anyway. So enjoy...this chapter.

Jake sat in one of the hospital's emergency stairways that were usually vacant, teary eyed as his uncle was in surgery. He didn't want to sit in the waiting room with the fire department because he didn't want to see anyone or talk to anyone. He wanted to be alone. He wanted to shut the world out until everything was okay again. He didn't like waiting and he didn't like the what ifs.

The door opened on the floor above him and Jake heard footsteps coming down the stairs. He didn't even bother looking up, he just whipped at his eyes and pretended to do something on his phone. When the person stopped and sat down, Jake curiously looked over to see who was sitting beside him. He was surprised to see the surgeon that operated on him instead of one of the guys from the firehouse.

"I figured you'd be here." He said. "I like to think here too."

"You said it was quiet." Jake mumbled.

He shrugged. "It is but I should probably stop telling people about it."

"Are they looking for me?"

"I think they know you want to be alone."

"I do." He answered quickly. "I can't sit there and wait in silence."

"They waited for you too." He commented. "But I know what you mean. The silence can sometimes be deafening. And when the silence gets too loud, it's almost impossible to stay sane."

"Grace and Ellie are good in a storm." Jake said. "Ellie is quiet calm but will get quiet upset but Grace can be a paranoid spaz and flip out over all the little things, get worked up and go straight to the worst case scenario, but in chaos," Jake shook his head. "They can weather the storm."

"And you think you can't?" He asked.

"I'm good with the little things. I don't sweat the small stuff and I don't think twice or wonder what could go wrong. I'm impulsive and rebellious but calm because things just don't bother me. She's rational and cautious but the smallest things set her off or upset her. It makes people think she's weak and emotionally damaged but she's strong. She's much stronger than I am."

He frowned. "You know, my Grandfather used to say that steel is forged in the fire. I never really understood what he meant until I was in the operating room and every signal that a person is dying was going off and everyone was looking at me. I had to act, I had to do something. Steel is forged in the fire; I could hear him saying it. So I took a moment, and instead of stepping out of the chaos, I jumped into it."

"I can't go out there." Jake shook his head. "I don't want to sit there and wait to hear whether or not he died."

"You want to sit here and wait for someone to find you instead?" He asked.

"What's the worst part of your job?" Jake asked suddenly, looking at him. "Is it when you lose a patient? No, it's when you have to tell the family."

"He's not dead, Jake." He said softly. "Sitting alone in a stairwell is not going to change the news. If it's bad, it will be bad, no matter who you hear it from or when or where. But trust me, it will be something you remember for the rest of your life and you don't want to remember it coming from your sisters or someone you know and love. You want it to come from the doctor."

Jake frowned. "Why?"

"Because whoever tells you will become part of one of the worst memories of your life and all you will ever think about when you see them is that day." He explained. "But you know what you don't realize right now?"