He Will Be Mine

Chapter 33: Third Wheel

*** Matt's POV ***

Saturday night has been date night for Jess and me for years. I feel the loss of the security of that relationship every time Saturday rolls around, and I have no one to spend it with. What really doesn't help is that Tyler and Aly seem to be back full force, so they're back to having their movie nights on Saturdays while I just hang out in my room, trying not to fall apart every time I hear Aly giggle at something Tyler does.

Admittedly, he has been generous this week, even letting me tag along when they go to work out. I went with them Tuesday and both he and Aly were kind enough to help me find some low-impact activities to get me started. It's been many years since I have done anything even resembling a workout, so I'm quite out of shape. After only twenty minutes, my body was screaming at me and I was out of breath. I spent the rest of the time watching Aly, which I'm sure made me look like a creep, but I couldn't help it. She's a force of nature, and quite a beast in the gym.

Thursday I wasn't feeling up to another workout yet, so Aly offered to walk with me through the nature park instead. There's never anyone there since the weather turned cold and snowy and it feels a little bit like our special place because of it. There was freshly fallen snow Thursday morning and the whole place felt a bit like a magical wonderland lightly dusted with sparkling confetti. I lost count of how many times I wanted to kiss her that day, partly because I always want to kiss her but mostly because it felt like it would be the perfect thing to do in that setting.

But now, it's hitting me all over again that I am alone, and she is better off with him. I know it's mostly my fault that I'm alone. I could just break it off with Jess and then pursue Aly more seriously, but I'm scared. Aly seems content with Tyler, and I know he is crazy about her. Not only do I still have trouble believing that she would really pick me over him, but I would feel like a monster ripping them apart. I can't stand the idea of breaking up with Jess and just being single either, so as always, I am putting off making my final decision and acting on it.

One thing that I have come to realize, though, is that if it comes down to a simple choice between Jess and Aly, I'm going to pick Aly. I keep thinking about how they each treat me and make me feel, and I've realized that Jess doesn't appreciate me. She expects everything and doesn't give much in return. Our relationship has gotten to a point where I basically am walking on eggshells always trying to keep her happy.

With Aly, on the other hand, it's easy. It feels natural, and what she said to me the other day has stuck with me. She sees me, and appreciates the person I really am. There would be no pretending with her. Only problem is that it's not simple because she's not actually available, even if she says she is. She's with Tyler in every way but the terminology.

As I'm lying in my bed staring up at the ceiling and thinking about Aly, something strange comes over me and I have the urge to just go out there and sit next to her and see what happens. Before I know it, my feet are carrying me to the living room.

"Hi, Matt," Aly greets me, seeming happy to see me, and at the same time Tyler says, "Hey, man."

This is a good start, I guess. They don't seem to be bothered at my intrusion, so I go over to the couch and take the place on the other side of Aly.

"Hey, guys," I return their greetings. "Hope you don't mind, but I don't really know what to do with myself anymore on a Saturday night, so I was wondering if I could join."

"Of course," Tyler responds. "Not sure if you'll be into our movie selection, though."

I look at the TV and recognize some of the actors, quickly realizing they're watching one of those movies about the weird vampires. Not really my thing, but I didn't come out here for the movie, anyway. I just don't want to be alone.