He Will Be Mine

Chapter 13: Mixed-Up Friends

*** Tyler's POV ***

I return to the apartment after my first independent session with Izzy completely psyched about this semester. So far, everything is going my way.

Saturday night with Aly was incredible. She seemed completely back to normal after her talk with Matt and we spent the whole night dancing and hanging out together. I did drink way too much trying to keep pace with her because apparently the girl's liver is an iron-clad tank, but it was fun. I woke up late yesterday and she was already gone, but she seemed fine when I texted her, so I'm pretty sure we're good. I've never gotten this far with a girl without screwing it up somehow.

And now, enter Izzy. I've idolized the guy since I first discovered him when I was like 12 years old and before now, just taking his courses was enough to rock my world. When he offered me this independent study a couple weeks ago, it felt like I had died and gone to Heaven. So far, he hasn't disappointed. There's going to be actual coursework and projects and stuff of course, but today we took a couple hours over coffee and just talked. I learned so much about him and his art, and he actually seemed interested in learning about me, too.

Now that I'm home, I can't wait to tell the guys all about it. They're not in the living room or kitchen, so I head down the hall to where I hear Trevor talking in his room. Just as I'm about to open the door, I pause because I hear Matt in there, too, and it kind of seems like they're having a private conversation.

I hear him say, "If I tell you this, you have to swear it stays between us and no one can know, especially not Jessica or Meredith."

Fair enough. I know they're closer to each other than I am to either of them, so of course they have secrets. I decide to turn and leave them to it. It's not my business.

I hear Trevor promise him absolute secrecy as I'm heading across the hall to my room and start digging in my bag for my earbuds.

Then I hear Matt say, "I was talking to this girl at the party on Saturday and she confessed that she has had feelings for me for a long time."

Well, now he has my attention. The only girl I saw him with was Aly. The way I found them together comes to mind. They were hiding in a dark corner beside the house, their hands were joined, it looked kind of intimate ... could it be? Is he the guy Aly likes?

I creep back over to lurk outside the door. I can't help myself. I have to hear this. I have to know.

"You shot her down, though, right?" Trevor asks him.

Yeah, Matt. Please tell him you did.

"Well, sort of," Matt says. "The thing is, I had feelings for her too, long before I met Jessica. I kind of put her out of my mind at a certain point because I never thought I would see her again, but now she has come back into my life. I couldn't help it. I had to know if there was still a spark there, so I kissed her. It was meant to prove to me that Jessica is the girl for me."

"Oh geez, Matt," Trevor responds. He sounds as shocked and off-put as I feel. "I mean, like, I get it in a way, but come on. You kissed her? That never works. Kisses are meant to stir feelings. That's literally how they work and why they feel so good. It's all chemical, biological processes. If you kiss somebody, you're guaranteed to feel more for her than before you kissed her. It's a super intimate thing to do. And if the two of you happen to be chemically compatible, well, you're screwed. You'll be a total goner at that point."

"Yeah," Matt says sheepishly. Uh-oh.

It sounds like he's chemical whatever Trevor is going on about. That's great. Now Matt has feelings too. Total goner feelings.

"So, yeah, I mean, you're right about all that I'm sure," Matt agrees with him. "Because that's pretty much what happened. We kissed, it felt amazing, and now I'm ten levels of mixed up and confused because it's like, Jess and I have something real, right? We've been together awhile, like really together. And then with this other girl, it was always a crush. I barely know her, at least not like I know Jess. But I don't want to hurt either of them, and I feel ... I don't even know what I feel."

"Well, what did you say to her after you kissed?" Trevor wants to know. I want to know, too.

"I realized I screwed up and I tried to walk it back. I told her she's not the girl for me because I love Jessica, like really love her. And that's true, and I feel that. I just also feel bad because I feel like that's such a dick thing to say."

It kind of is. Poor Aly.

"No, I would argue the being a dick part came in when you kissed her."

Yeah, actually, Trevor is right about that. What was Matt even thinking?

"I can't even argue with that. That was a mistake."

"So, now what? Avoid the other girl at all costs and get back to focusing on Jess?"

"I wish. I can't. For one, she's a cool girl, this other girl, and I like being her friend. And then there's the part where she's in my Monday psych class."

Ugh. I should have seen that coming. They have similar majors.

"Uh-oh. How'd that go?"

"Uh, yeah, I tried to just be cool and maybe even a little bit apologetic and suck up to her. She called me out on it, but I don't know. I think things are cool between us and she understands that I pick Jess."

I'm glad Aly called him out on that. That's my girl. Er, my friend. My seriously mixed-up, confused friend who I can't even be mad at because she told me there was someone else. I also don't even know for sure that it's her Matt is talking about, but somehow, I feel it in my gut that it has to be her and that's good enough for me.

I've heard enough, though. Whatever else Matt has to say, I just don't even care. I creep back over to my room and quietly close the door, then throw myself on the bed. The bed that still smells like Aly.

I feel sick to my stomach when I realize it's very possible that the only reason Aly even hangs out with me is because I'm friends with Matt. I should have realized something was off, though, because girls like her aren't interested in me. But then why did she agree to have sex with me? That seems like the opposite of what she should do if she's trying to get to him.

I remember the way she was the morning after, following a whole night of worrying if she is a horrible person, and shake it off. No, Aly isn't like that. She doesn't use people. Plus, we have hung out plenty of times when Matt isn't even around. She even made a point of defending me to her dad the other day at the bookstore.

No, it is what she says it is. She likes me, she just also likes Matt. Well, I guess my job now is to show her Matt isn't her guy. He kissed her and then instantly ditched her. I'm still here. I'm not going anywhere. I can't even understand how if Matt has a choice between Aly and Jess, he chooses Jessica. I would never.

I feel like I need to talk to her about all this at some point, but I don't even know how I would bring it up without seeming like a total creep. "So, I was eavesdropping on my roommates the other day and now I know all your secrets." Not the best conversation starter.

I decide that conversation will have to wait. I do want to see Aly, though, even if it's to talk about anything and everything else. I bet she will be interested to know about Izzy. Not many of my other friends are.

I take out my phone and tap on the screen to wake it up. Of course, the conversation I still have open is with Aly. I look again at the last thing she sent me, a picture of her and Ronnie from last night, and can't help smiling. Then I start typing my message.

Dinner plans tonight?

I can only hope that her response is something to the effect of, "You, me, and some crappy cafeteria food?" because right about now, that sounds perfect.