He Will Be Mine

Chapter 67: Meeting Eli

*** Matt's POV ***

I keep asking myself whether I would still have gone through with it if I had known ahead of time that becoming a silver wolf was even a remote possibility, and I think the answer is still yes. It's easier to arrive at that conclusion consistently when Aly is around, since her touch seems to be exceptionally soothing now, but I think I would choose it every time regardless. You can't put a price on the good parts, like how I can actually sense the mate bond and even feel closer to Tyler now, not to mention the part that sold me in the first place, being able to age more slowly and enjoy more time together. If the cost for all that is this damned headache that appears to be here to stay, then I'll gladly pay it again and again if I have to.

But sometimes, for a moment or two, I wonder if I do regret it. In some ways I miss being the person I was before we got here, the blissfully ignorant lovesick fool who never could have conceived of how much pain it is possible for a body to endure because he was fortunate enough never to experience anything even remotely close. That guy may have been a naïve, ignorant fool, but at least he was a comfortable fool. But this version of me gets to enjoy his mate's delightful touch and scent, though admittedly today it seems to only amp up the unrest. Her scent is here, but she's not, so it's driving me crazy. And this damned headache!

I feel Tyler stirring around in the bed next to me and worry that I might be moaning or sighing too loud and disturbing his rest. I know I'm not going to sleep, but that doesn't mean he has to suffer too.

"I know, man. I miss her too," he rasps in a tone barely above a whisper.

I know he knows that I can hear him loud and clear, and I appreciate how mindful he has been of my heightened senses. The downside is that most people aren't, and when we get back to school it will only get worse. That reminds me, I wonder if we can convince Trevor and Meredith to switch their soaps and other hygiene products to the ones Aly's mom makes. That in itself might help.

"You okay?" he asks me, turning on his side to look me over with a concerned expression on his face.

I realize I never responded to him. Not out loud, anyway. Not surprising, considering I've been living in my head more than usual the past couple days. Sometimes, my thoughts feel so loud that I forget that no one else can hear them.

"I'm alright," I answer, evasively choosing not to elaborate. I am alright. Not great, but I can manage. I think.

"I didn't imagine it being this hard for you. I knew it would be tough and you had a lot of reservations you'd have to work through, but you got dealt a rough hand, man. I'm so sorry. I feel like maybe I pushed you."

"No, I wanted it," I make sure to respond without hesitation. He needs to know that it was my choice. I was perfectly fine with him changing and me not, until I learned more about it all. His decision never affected mine, but once I made my own, that was that.

"And it was probably always meant to be this way," I share with him the conclusion I've reached over the past days of introspection. "I think I've always been a silver wolf. It was just a roll of the dice that I ended up not being born with the physiology for my wolf to manifest on its own, but it's not like our family isn't already werewolves. I think if I had been born with one already inside, it would have been this one. I have too much in common with silver wolves for it to be a coincidence."

He turns his head away and stares up at the ceiling of Aly's room, seeming to think that over before he responds.

"That might be true," he agrees after a moment. "I suppose you have always been a bit sensitive."