Under Her Wing

Chapter 30

Amalia POV

It's the middle of the night and I'm lay wide awake staring at the ceiling.
What a shock, I can't sleep.

I can't stop thinking about the appointment earlier with Carla. I did really like her and I did get a good vibe from her. Am I ready to address all the thoughts I've been pushing down for years though?

I think part of the problem is that I feel like I don't deserve the help.
Why am I worthy of people helping me? There are people in worse places than me.

I tilt my head to look over and out of the window. I've got a clear view of tonight's full moon.

It's glow feels powerful.

It's perfect.

I wish I was perfect.

Rolling onto my side to stare at the sky, my hand makes its way under my pillow.

As well as the cool sheets, my fingers feel something harder. Pulling my hand back, I bring a piece of paper with it.

It's a note.

I switch on the bedside lamp and recognise the writing instantly.

Amalia, make sure you don't see yourself through the eyes of those who don't value you. Sometimes the hardest part of the journey is believing you're worthy of the trip. I am so proud of you for tackling everything that came with today.
You're worthy of love Amalia, let me love you, D x

I wiped away a fallen tear. It was if Danielle knew that tonight I would be battling the thoughts of not feeling good enough. I folded the piece of paper back up and tucked it back under the pillow, knowing it was there whenever I needed the reminder.

I checked the time and saw it was 2:30am.

I wanted Danielle.

I knew she'd be able to get me to sleep in two minutes.

But it's 2:30am and she'll definitely be asleep by now. I'm not waking her up, she deserves a good nights sleep more than me.

A drink might help.

Silently, I pull back the covers and slowly climb out of bed, careful not to make any noise.
Familiar now with the layout of Danielle's house, I confidently make my way in the dark towards the kitchen.

I get myself a glass of water turn to go back to Danielle's spare room. Before entering the spare room, I pause to listen. Was Danielle awake? Had I woken her up? I stayed still, not moving a muscle.

That's when I heard it.

She was crying.

Her door was opposite mine. I didn't know whether to leave her and give her some privacy or check to see if she was alright.

I mean if she was crying then she definitely wasn't alright but would she want a thirteen year old going to check on her in the middle of the night. Probably not. But there's no way I'd be able to sleep knowing she was upset.

I took a deep breath and raised my fist, bringing it down to gently knock on her bedroom door.

"Danielle?" I said quietly.

I listened out for a reply.

"Come in," came her gentle voice.

I pushed open her door. Her bedside lamp was on, showing her sat up in bed with red cheeks and tears in her eyes.

I'd never seen her like this before. She was always so positive and smiley. I stood helplessly in the middle of her room.

"Come here angel," she smiled weakly, patting the free space beside her.