Under Her Wing

Chapter 164

Amalia POV

"So how are you actually feeling about the conventions? You're going to Paris first right?" Carla asked.

I nodded, playing with the squishy ball in my hands.

"Mali?" Carla prompted when I made no comment.

"I dunno, I kinda wish we weren't going," I admitted honestly.

"And why's that?" she pressed.

"Few things," I shrugged.

"Tell me," Carla encouraged gently.

"I don't like flying for a start,"

She smiled knowingly, nodding for me to continue.

"And it's not like it's gonna be a complete vacation. Dani and Stef are gonna be working,"

"There's gonna be literally hundreds of fans all wanting their attention,"

"And I know what my moms are like, they're gonna be amazing and kind and lovely to everybody there,"

I paused my rambling.

"Talk to me about why that's a problem for you," Carla pushed again.

I sighed, letting go of the ball and bringing my hands up to my hair frustratedly, the urge to pull on it strong.

Carla sat up a little straighter, watching my every movement, ready to intervene if needed.

I pictured all the fans competing for Dani and Stef's attention and then all taking photos and having hugs.

I tugged on my hair, unable to fight the urge and hating myself for having these feelings.

I didn't even register that Carla had moved until she was crouched in front of me, her hand resting on my knee.

"Amalia can you try and look at me?" She said softly.

I lifted my gaze to her.

"Good girl," she praised.

"Let go for me, we can cope better than that darling. We don't need to pull hair,"

"We can cope,"

"We can deal with this,"

I listened to her words and felt my fingers release the grip they had on my hair. I lowered my arms slowly and Carla reached for another one of the fidget toys, placing it in my hands.

"Can you try this for me?" She asked.

I looked down at the pink, blue and orange tangle in my hands and started moving it around my fingers.

"That's it sweetheart," she smiled, standing back up and going back to her chair.

"How do you usually deal with seeing Danielle and Stefania with fans?" Carla asked once we were back on track.

I thought about my previous experiences.

My cheeks flushed with embarrassment, and I glanced down, my fingers fidgeting with the toy.

"Um, well, it's been pretty tough sometimes," I admitted hesitantly.

Carla's tone was encouraging. "It's okay to share what you've experienced. Understanding your past reactions can help us figure out better ways to manage your feelings."

I took a deep breath, feeling a lump in my throat.

"There have been times when I've had meltdowns. I've thrown tantrums, screamed and cried for Dani and Stefania."