Under Her Wing

Chapter 160

Danielle POV

"Danielle hi," Gemma greeted warmly through my laptop screen.

"Hi Gemma," I said, already feeling a little exhausted this morning.

"Ooo that's not an energetic 'Hi'. Are we not feeling it today?" Gemma asked, instantly picking up on it.

"No no I'm good, I've literally just finished calming Amalia," I told her, wondering if Mali was settled and playing in her room.

"Everything okay there?" Gemma asked.

"Yeah, she had a meltdown over Stefania leaving for work. She didn't want her to go and meet any fans," I said, running my fingers through my hair.

"Jealousy?" Gemma asked.

"I think so yeah. We had a chat earlier and she's worried Stef and I will choose another daughter if we meet lots of fans of the show," I explained.

"I've obviously reassured her that's not the case and would never happen but it's hard to know how much she's really taking on board when she's so upset," I sighed.

"The last time we talked you were worried about what to do over going to a convention or something...?" Gemma prompted.

"Yeah and this is exactly why but I think Stef and I have decided to bring her with us. Being apart that long and that far away from her would be so much more traumatic for her than us meeting fans. I don't think I'd settle either not being able to go to her if she needed me. We've never really spent any time apart,"

"That's completely understandable, how are you planning on dealing with her jealously whilst at the conventions then?" Gemma asked.

"I've honestly no idea, I'm hoping Amalia's therapist will be able to work with her on it."

"At the moment, all I do is let her have my boob to calm down. It settles her quickly and can bring her out of a meltdown but doesn't solve anything,"

"And I can only really do that when we're at home or on set. As much as Amalia would want, I won't let her when we're in public and we can't guarantee that we'll always be at home or in a hotel room when she gets upset," I said, happy to be getting these concerns off my chest.

"It's getting harder and harder to settle Mali without that skin on skin time or just letting her hold a boob," I sighed.

"And it's the same with Stefania?" Gemma checked.

"Yeah but I think Stefania's a little firmer with her and won't give in as easy. I just want to give Amalia as much comfort as possible and if that's how she settles then so be it," I shrugged.

"I did put my foot down the other day though when she was crying and begging for me to hold her in the bath. It was actually Stefania who was ready to give in that time," I told Gemma.

"It's good that Amalia's experiencing you setting boundaries for yourself and her though. That's sometimes just as important as you being there to comfort her," Gemma explained.

"And it's proof that she feels safe around the two of you if she's letting herself have meltdowns like that. Children who don't feel safe won't let those emotions out, they'll keep them trapped inside no matter what because they're scared of the reaction of those around them," she added.

I took a big inhale, letting the breath out slowly.

"What're you thinking?" Gemma asked, knowing I was deep in thought.

"It's just.."

I paused, wanting to word it correctly.

"Take your time Danielle, there's no rush,"