Cold Hearted

Not Okay Anymore

Harry POV

I stayed leaning on Elena just a bit as we walked just a bit deeper into the forest, the uneven terrain was even harder to walk on than the nice level floors back at Ben's place... am I worried about my sudden trouble with walking alone? If I'm being honest... yeh, I am. I've never... felt this way before and it's not really going away, so of course I'm slightly concerned.

It feels like my legs are freezing up in a way, like I'll be fine for a few steps then everything gets all messed up for a few more. Not ta mention the dizzy spells that seem to only be getting worse, sometimes the world is just spinning and I just have to pretend like everything's fine... when in reality I feel like my hands are only getting colder the longer we're out 'ere when the exact opposite is supposed ta be happening. I thought being out in the sun would help... but it doesn't seem to be doing anything at all... I don't want ta worry Elena specifically about my seemingly worsening condition, but if this keeps up I may not be able to hide my symptoms much longer...

I mean it's starting to even hurt a bit, but for now, it just feels like rather concerning little tingles in my chest that seem to be getting... colder when the dizzy spells or the sudden stumbling hits. It's so strange... I've been sick so many times with so many odd things and yet I've never felt like this before, not even remotely close.

So I clung onto Elena more and more for basic balance at this point, I tried ta not show any signs of shakiness or even shivering as I don't want her energy put towards worrying about me right now. I think it's safe to say that the kingdom kinda needs her more than I do... even though I may not be able to have a choice soon if this shit keeps getting worse.

We took a quick break of sorts in a small clearing of sorts while Dude tried to pick up the scent again as he had lost it for a moment, but Elena didn't stop where the others were, but I went with it as I kinda need her as a bit of a crutch for walking purposes. I'm sure I can walk on my own... it just wouldn't look too pretty I reckon. Elena led us a bit further away from the group, up to a little creak with some puddles of water ta the sides of it where some small woodland creatures were getting a drink it seems,

"I want you to sit down for a little bit... this whole stumbling thing is beginning to worry me"

Elena said with sure enough, a look of intense worry on her pretty little face... but I don't want her ta worry about me I really don't. I sighed as she led me over to a nice flat stone beside the creak and helped me sit down,

"I'm sure I'm alright Ellie, just a wee bit tired"

Of course as soon as I said that, I lost my balance as I was sitting down and nearly fell if it weren't for Elena still holding onto me. And I felt even worse when she lightly gasped at my sudden loss of balance,

"Harry... you've been tired plenty of times before this though and it's been nothing like this! Just then, you nearly fell over... I'm really starting to worry, did something happen while I was spelled or when you were on the Isle or something? I just wanna figure out what could be causing this, there must be something, surely there must be"

She spoke with a slightly wavering voice as she crouched down to lay her hand delicately on her shoulder, worry and confusion in her eyes which I wish could always be filled with joy instead. I thought about it though... nothing unusual happened ta me on the Isle, nothing weird before I found Elena... Audrey didn't even confront me personally when I was alone. Literally nothings even really happened before we found Ellie, I mean the only thing that's really happened was...

...... wait......

.... oh shit....

When she was spelled.... she struck me with a blast of sorts, she's never done that obviously but... what if... what if it was her? Well not her obviously, it would've been Audrey controlling her... but that's the only thing that's happened ta me before I began ta feel strange. Gods..... I can't tell her it was her magic that did this ta me! She'd never end it with herself... gods she has nightmares about accidentally hurting people, let alone me of all people! I can't... I can't do that ta her, she'd just blame herself even though it was never even close ta being her fault! She didn't hit anyone else, so no one else is gonna feel what I'm feeling... which could make it easier ta keep that secret? I mean I will have ta buy some brown hair dye and cover my hair up until I can cover that weird white streak which would also make some sense if it was her magic... but I can wear a hat until then, right? Yeh... when all of this is over I'll just run to the store and buy some brown hair dye, and that'll be it!