The Ga on call room

Life would be so much eaiser if Derek Shepherd hated Meredith Grey

Life would be so much easier if Derek Shepherd hated Meredith Grey.

This aspiration was thought by two people: Derek Shepherd himself and Nurse Rose.

However, the reason behind their desires were vastly different.

Derek Shepherd wanted to hate Meredith Grey, because he loved her and he didn't want to love her.

Nurse Rose wanted Derek Shepherd to hate Meredith Grey so that after four years, he could try and attempt to love her.

Nurse Rose also wanted to hate Meredith Grey, but could find no real reason too, except for the most obvious one, and that was hardly Meredith's fault.

Plus, if anyone had the right to hate someone, it was Meredith, and unfortunately for the two previously aforementioned souls, she did not.

So with all this hate or lack there of, Derek Shepherd and Nurse Rose found themselves in the midst of a full-blown argument, smack in the middle of Derek's, still houseless, land.

This argument inevitably took place after Derek eventually returned to his trailer after his and Meredith's.... well he didn't know what you could classify it as. Derek just figured he take a leaf out of Meredith's book, or her old book, and call it a 'thingy.'

The most unfortunate part of Meredith and Derek's 'thingy', was not the fact that it left Derek even more empty than before and wishing that he felt anything but love for her, but that Rose had witnessed Derek giving Meredith a completely friendly kiss on the cheek goodnight.

Derek didn't see Rose witness this, he only found out when he felt one of his fishing books narrowly miss his head as he walked towards the trailer.

As the saying goes there's a first time for everything, and the night Meredith returned to Seattle, was the first time that Derek ever saw Rose so consumed with anger.

As Derek stood in shock and awe of Rose, he turned to see how far and fast she had thrown his boot, and realized another first: this was the first time he had ever been completely surprised by Rose. He was surprised at how long she had kept her anger inside, he was surprised at her throwing arm, but he wasn't surprised in the least that her anger still didn't turn him on. If it had been Meredith throwing items of footwear at his head, he would have grabbed her and kissed her into oblivion, but not Rose.

This was another reason Derek Shepherd wanted to hate Meredith Grey.

Before Derek was able to register that half of his footwear collection had managed to land in a pile on the grass, he saw Rose about to snap one of his fishing poles in half. She could throw all the shoes that she liked, it's not like it would strain Derek, or her for that matter, to go out a fetch them, but the fishing poles were not hers to tamper with. They were his only solace nowadays. Whenever he had a sleepless night, he was able to collect his thoughts by going out to the lake. Also, one of those fishing rods had been a reluctant Valentine's Day gift from Meredith, who at the time told him not to "get too excited about some stupid, superficial, man- made holiday,", all the while trying not to grin like an idiot as she unwrapped the gift he gave her.

Derek quickly lurched forward and grabbed the fishing pole out of Rose's hands, while attempting to resist the urge to point and poke it at her.

"What in God's name do you think you are doing?" Derek asked icily. "Are you going insane?"

"Oh, I'm not going insane, Derek." Rose screeched, "I'm already there, because I'm sure that I saw you and Meredith 'freakin' Grey, kissing! Kissing! You and Meredith Grey kissing!"

For some reason Rose insisted on repeating, the word 'kissing' so many times that Derek lost count, and the idea of kissing began to lose its appeal.

"I know what kissing is Rose!" Derek snapped, as he placed his fishing pole back inside the door.

"Do you Derek? I'm actually surprised at that, considering I can barely remember the last time we engaged in any form of kissing." Rose shrieked. "I'm so glad Meredith was able to remind you how to do it."

" Maybe you need your eyes checked Rose , because I'm pretty sure that it was only a kiss on the cheek." Derek argued back. "So it can hardly be called kissing. Kissing is a continual motion, and that kiss on the cheek lasted two seconds."

"It was Meredith Grey. Why couldn't it have been anyone but her?" Rose asked, defeated. "What was the 911? She's back for just a couple of hours and she's already got you coming to her rescue?"

"No." Derek replied firmly. "We put the past to rest. We had to find a way that we could co-exist and not make life miserable and awkward for those around us."

"That's all?" Rose asked meekly, a little bit ashamed for her actions.

"Yes, that's all. Closure." Derek failed to mention the small, tiny, minuscule fact that he may have fallen a little bit more in love with Mer, but he feared for the rest of his personal belongings if he told Rose that.

"Derek, you know that this is the first time in since I don't know how long, that you've shown any sort of emotion towards me?"

Rose really wished that Derek hated Meredith Grey.

Derek knew right then and there that he had to pull his head out of his ass, at least for Rose's sake. After speaking to Meredith tonight, he knew that he couldn't try and win her back. She was happy. She was happy without him. It really was left up to the powers above. The least he could do was try and act like he had moved on. He knew that it wasn't fair to Rose, but after stringing her along the last few years, the least he could do is try and be happy. God, he was an ass. He really deserved to be alone, and that was where his problem lay.

"I'm sorry. I know that this...we've been a mess...I'll try and change, but...you can't fly off the handle every time you see Meredith and I together, okay? We can't erase our past, and Mer and I will always care about each other." Derek said. We'll always love each other.

Rose looked at Derek wearily, but couldn't help but melt at his words, even though she knew deep in her heart that they would only end in heartbreak. She just couldn't bring herself to walk away. If anyone asked her why she couldn't, she would have no answer.

Derek pulled Rose towards him, and imagined Meredith's face as she spoke to Lachlan, and he knew that for the first time in four years he had to try and move on, because she had, at least it seemed that way.

Derek just really wished he could make himself hate to Meredith Grey.