The Ga on call room

Dance lessons

Apparently Meredith was going dancing. Izzie only informed her of this two days before they were supposed to be going. So now, Meredith was standing in her closet, looking at the shoes she had brought with her from London and attempting to decide which ones would be most appropriate. Meredith finally chose a pair with a slight heel, considering that on the actual wedding day, she would be wearing high heels, so it was best to practice in a pair.

Finally finished preening in her bedroom, Meredith walked down the stairs, relishing the complete silence in the usually screaming household. She was the only person home. Mark and Izzie were out, so they would have to meet Meredith and Derek at the dance studio; Alex had convinced Lachlan to have a night with the guys and have a drink with him and George at Joe's, while Lexie was stuck on call at the hospital.

It was the first time in days that Meredith was completely alone with her thoughts. Her thoughts definitely needed this silence, because they were all over the place. They went from Derek, straight back to Lachlan, then back to Derek and then reversed all the way to Lachlan, and frankly, Meredith's head hurt from all of the movement. Perhaps a night of dancing was exactly what she needed, despite the fact that her partner would be the one and only Derek Shepherd. Meredith hadn't seen or spoken to Derek since he had sat on her porch and told her that he was going to fight for her, and she still couldn't decide whether or not this was a good or bad thing.

Meredith's eye suddenly caught the cabinet where she kept the emergency tequila, and she made her way over. As she quickly glanced at the clock hanging on the wall, Meredith realized that she still had half an hour before she had to leave, so one or two tequila shots would be able to ease off her nervousness. She was so caught up in relishing the liquid burning down her throat that she failed to hear the click of the front door open and then close.

" The prospect of dancing with me cannot be that bad." Derek smirked, as he stood in the doorway to the kitchen.

"Meredith whipped her head around in shock. "Derek...I thought we were all meeting at the studio..?"

"I wanted to see you." Derek responded as if it was the simplest thing in the world, before continuing, "And as I was saying, my dancing isn't so bad that you need to numb body, I promise I won't step on your feet."

"Hmmm, if I remember correctly, you once told me that you never dance in public, I'm thinking their must be a reason for it." Meredith teased.

Derek grinned widely as he remembered the night on his land that he told Meredith that.

"You have a good memory."

"I don't forget many moments like that."

"What do you mean' moments like that'?" Derek asked.

"Moments where the world stops spinning for just a second, and I can feel completely safe...Anyway, you didn't answer my question." Meredith told him.

"Oh...well, I don't dance in public, because I am just that good at it, that it would put everyone else to shame, and I don't like stealing anyone's thunder." Derek replied with all seriousness.

"I'm sure."

Meredith looked into Derek's eyes for a moment, and noticed a slight tint of sadness in them. Her heart leapt at the possibility of him being in some sort of pain. Despite how much pain he had brought her in the past, Meredith never wished any on him.

"What's wrong?" Meredith asked instantly.

Derek smiled slightly at her ability to read him so well.

"I lost a patient today." Derek told her, and then continued to elaborate, "He was just two years old. It happened quickly, he barely would have felt any pain..."

Meredith instinctively pulled out a stool and sat next to Derek, grabbing hold of his hand, in the form of comfort.

Derek laced his fingers through hers, holding on tightly. 'He didn't feel any pain...but... but, his parents will feel pain everyday second of everyday for the rest of their lives...he was a piece of them, and now he'll be missing forever." Derek slightly sobbed.

Meredith squeezed Derek's fingers, amazed at the beautifully gentle nature he possessed when it came to his patients, especially small children.

"I'm sure you did everything you could Derek." Meredith whispered. "Sometimes...sometimes someone else just has a different plan for us. Perhaps, you just weren't meant to save him. I know that sounds harsh and cruel, but I really believe that everything happens for a reason."

Derek turned around on the stool and pulled Meredith toward him, resting his head on hers. This was why he had come here, instead of meeting everyone at the dance studio. He knew that Meredith would have been able to put his racing mind at ease, to mend his heart, which had hurt continually since he had called the time of death. Seeing the little boy had broken him. Derek didn't know how he would react if that had been his own child; if that had been his and Meredith's child. Straight after leaving the hospital, he had driven to Meredith's; when a person was scared, or sad, they went to their safe haven, to that place that would make them feel normal again, and Meredith was his.

"Thank-you." Derek whispered, his eyes traveling to Meredith's lips.

"Your welcome." Meredith whispered back. "That's why you came here, isn't it? You needed to get it off your chest."

"I came here because you're my getaway car." Derek said, speaking vulnerably.

"I came here because you're my getaway car." Derek said, speaking vulnerably.

"I'm your what?" Meredith giggled.

"My getaway car." Derek smiled. "You're the person I can trust to be there waiting for me, even though I don't always deserve it, you make me feel good about me. I love you for being you, but I also love you because of how I feel when I'm around you. You're the person I go to; the person who will take me away from the place in my life where I hurt...you're my getaway car."

"I'm your getaway car." Meredith agreed.

"So thank-you, thanks for taking me away from my horrible day." Derek said.

"Anytime."

"I'll take you up on that." Derek smirked.

Meredith glared at him, "You know what I mean."

"I know." Derek smiled, before deciding to tell her his news.

"By the way, Rose and I are over...I thought you would want to know." Derek told her, watching as she tried to keep a neutral expression.

"Oh..."

"I told you it was going to end. I meant every word I said to you Meredith. I'm not going top give up without a fight. Not this time."

"Derek...things are just...at the moment, why do you have to be so dreamy now?' Meredith demanded.

Derek couldn't help but laugh at that.

"I've wasted too much time already Meredith. If you're hesitating, if only for a moment about this, then you must feel it too. There's still something between us Mer, and while I still know that there is a chance for us, I'm not going to give up." Derek said in earnest.

"My head is a mess Derek. You have no idea." Meredith admitted.

"That's a good thing then." Derek replied. Seeing her skeptical look, he hurried to continue. " That means that me fighting for you isn't in vain. If you didn't love me, you wouldn't be having a battle with your head an your heart." Derek finished, smiling knowingly.

Meredith just sighed, unable to think of a reply.

"We better get going." Derek told her, after a few minutes of comfortable silence.

"Yeah, we don't need Izzie sending out a search party because we're three minutes late."

With that, Meredith and Derek left, a headed towards their dance lesson.