As If I'd Ever Be Gay! || Chanlix

Chapter 4

* THERE ARE NEW UPDATED TRIGGER WARNINGS IN THE BIO!!!! PLEASE I AM BEGGING YOU READ THEM BEFORE CONTINUING FURTHER ON WITH THIS BOOK! I DON'T WANT TO HURT OR UPSET ANY OF YOU INTENTIONALLY! I LOVE ALL OF YOU SO MUCH! <3

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Felix was three beers in, already slurring on his words and spitting nonsense. Chan was sitting there on the couch, watching Felix fling around the couch pillows, giggling like a child while sipping on his beer.

"Channieeeee!" Felix slurred, stumbling his way to his best friend and crashing next to him. "You think that faggot will stop hiccup hitting on me?" Felix asked, clinging tightly onto Chan, squeezing the boy's muscular arms.

"Don't say that word, Lix. You're crossing a line once again." Chan sternly spoke, yanking his arm away from the blonde. This was exactly what he wanted to avoid tonight, but of course Felix always won in these situations.

"Why does it bother you so much?" Felix asked, being extremely insensitive towards his best friend. Felix knew, he just didn't want to accept the fact that his childhood best friend could be one of them.

"You already know the answer to that." The older man sighed, getting up from the couch and walking to his room hopefully avoid making this situation worse. He knew if he continued to talk with Felix, things would get a lot worse between the both of them. A fight might even break out between them, something Chan desperately wanted to avoid.

Of course Felix followed him anyway, barging into his room a giggling mess. "I don't think I do." The small blonde spoke, throwing his body onto Chan's bed, shirt lifting to expose his abs and v- line.

Chan averted his gaze quickly, not responding to Felix in hopes that he would drop the conversation. "It's not like you're actually one of them." Chan groaned in annoyance. Of course he wouldn't drop the conversation, this is Felix we're talking about.

"I don't want to talk about this anymore. Please leave and go to bed. I think you've had enough to drink for tonight." The older man spoke, grabbing hold of Felix's small body and carrying him to his room.

"I'm not done talking. You aren't one of them so why does it matter?" Felix giggled, wiggling out of Chan's grip and walking to the kitchen to grab his forth beer of the night. Why was Felix always so stubborn? Why did he care so much anyway?

Chan slammed his hand on the refrigerator door, preventing Felix from grabbing another beer. The small blonde was cornered in between Chan and the fridge. "You brat!" Felix hiccuped, clawing at the strong and veiny hand in hopes of getting it to move so he could grab another beer. Felix turned around, locking eyes with Chan, blushing at the close proximity their faces were to one another. 

"Move your hand!" Felix shouted, facing the fridge once more, desperately trying to open it.

"No! You're going to bed, dammit. It's 3 AM and we have work in the morning!" Chan's voice boomed, taking Felix by surprise. The older man could tolerate many things, but a drunk Felix was not one of them.

"Stop acting like a fag-"

"Dammit, Lix! We are going to bed. Now." Chan said through clenched teeth, taking Felix's wrist into his hands and dragging him to his bedroom.

"Why does that word bother you so much, huh?" Felix asked once more, stumbling through the apartment while Chan dragged him like a rag doll.

"It's just not right to say. It's hurtful and mean, Lix."

"Why would it bother you if you aren't gay?" The blonde questioned, sitting down on his bed and looking Chan is his eyes.

"You know why. We talked about this long ago. You ignored what I had to say and played it off as if it was some joke. People don't joke about those types of things, Lix. You know the truth and you chose to be blind towards it." Chan said, pulling Felix's shoes off and helping him under the covers.

Chan was being much more open about the topic because he knew Felix would forget everything in the morning. It would be as if this conversation had never happened and it had all been for nothing.

"Because you're just confused! Let me help you get better." Felix giggled obnoxiously, wrapping himself tightly into the blankets.

"I've been this way for years, Lix. You cannot help me 'get better'. There is no such thing." The older man spoke, closing Felix's curtains and shutting off the light. Felix moaned softly, stretching out his tired limbs and smiled cutely at Chan, reminding him once more of why he tolerated all the blonde's bullshit. It was that damn smile. 

"Everybody can get better." Felix smiled sweetly at his best friend, knocking out like a light almost immediately. Chan sighed, shutting off Felix's bedside table lamp and closing the door quietly. He checked the clock that read 3:46 AM. 

He wasn't prepared to go to work tomorrow morning. He only less than six hours of sleep to catch up on. He would've had more if Felix actually listened to him for once. Chan knew that in the morning Felix would wake up with a massive hangover, and would be in a horrible mood for the rest of the day. He also knew that Felix would try finding some way to blame him for letting him get drunk even though Chan tried preventing it. 

The brunette walked to his room, finally changing out of his uncomfortable clothes and into soft silky pajamas. He laid down in his bed, thinking of what Felix said to him. 

"Everybody can get better." 

"So fucking ignorant." Chan spoke to himself. He hated how Felix was such an insensitive person at times. He often wondered how Felix would react to him confessing his feelings for him. He laughed at the thought. Felix would probably treat him like the black plague for a few weeks before finally deciding to move out. Who knows, he could just skin him alive and feed him to pigs to get rid of the evidence instead. 

After an hour of thinking, Chan finally fell asleep, dreaming of living a better life with Felix. A life where Felix accepted him fully, and maybe even loved him back. It was a seemingly pathetic thing to wish and dream for, but Chan wanted to escape the harsh reality of how things were. The harsh reality of Felix and his ignorance. 

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This chapter was WAY shorter than my usual chapters, but I still hope you guys enjoyed it. i hope you guys like the change of the book name too! i figured homophobic was such a lame title for a book, so i decided to rename it! i hope you all are doing well i love you all.