As If I'd Ever Be Gay! || Chanlix

Chapter 20

Chan's hot chocolate managed to go down the wrong pipe. He started coughing hysterically, pausing the movie and locking eyes on Felix.

The blonde didn't dare look at him, keeping his eyes glued to the mug he held by his lap. Chan's eyes were so wide, they could basically fall out if they wanted.

"Did I hear you right?" The older man asked, setting his mug down and turning his full attention to the blonde.

Felix didn't say anything, only giving a small nod that he hoped Chan picked up.

"W-why are you asking such a thing?" He questioned, knowing that asking wouldn't do anything. Felix was never the type to answer questions.

The blonde stayed quiet as Chan expected. He tried to process why in the world Felix would make such a request. Lee Felix of all people? The "straight" man who claimed to hate homos? The same man who would rather die than be called gay?

"I-I don't think I am comfortable with sex." Chan hesitantly said, knowing that Felix hated taking no for an answer. As much as he would love to ruin Felix in every way possible, he knew that now was definitely not a good time.

"W-we don't have to go all the way!" Felix added in quickly, face as red as a tomato.

"I don't know why you want this all of the sudden." Chan said, trying his best to decline, though the idea made his body react naturally.

"Because I do! N-now are you going to let it happen or n-no?!" Felix shouted, trying his best to not lose his temper.

"Isn't sex something you do with somebody you like and love?" Chan questioned, seemingly striking a nerve in Felix. He looked offended almost.

Maybe the blonde thought that Chan was talking about how he felt towards him, but Chan was actually talking about Felix's feelings instead.

Chan was still unclear about Felix's feelings towards him, so coming to any conclusions was a dangerous gamble.

Felix avoided answering, anxiety getting too difficult to handle. Chan could tell Felix was on the verge of one of his little tantrums.

As much as the older man wanted to absolutely ruin Felix and make him scream, something in him told him that sex was not the best option. He would've wanted something like this to be special.

"P-please?" Felix asked, tears forming in his eyes.

"W-we don't have to go far. I just need to do this." The blonde forced out. Felix looked extremely uncomfortable and extremely scared. Chan morally wanted to say no, but he knew Felix would flip out if he did. Chan's sinful thoughts and lust on the other hand screamed yes.

It felt as though there were two entities on each shoulder. One a devil and one an angel. One side screaming not to do such a thing, the other side screaming "fuck it" and to do it.

The bad ended up winning, temptation and curiosity getting the best of him. Chan knew that if things went wrong, both of them would end up extremely hurt. Chan would end up heartbroken even, yet he wanted it and he wanted to avoid a tantrum from the blonde.

"You consent fully to this right? Are you sure this is what you want?" Chan asked, completely unaware of Felix's true intentions. The blonde only nodded, closing his eyes and bracing on for dear life.

Chan waited for a moment, Felix's eyes never once opened. He knew Felix was probably waiting for him to make the first move, so he slowly got closer to the blonde, noticing him grow more tense the closer he got.

Chan stopped for a moment, taking in the beautiful features on Felix. His fluffy blonde hair rested neatly on his forehead while his pink lips pursed due to anxiety. His freckles were hidden under the deep red blush on his cheeks.

Chan slowly lifted a hand up to Felix's cheek, heart quickening at the skin on skin contact. He felt so warm, it was super comforting. It was like the same warmth of clothes coming freshly out of the dryer. Chan just wanted to hug him close.

Felix flinched, feeling the hand direct his face towards Chan's general direction. His heart pounded in his ears while he shifted uncomfortably on the sofa.

Chan slowly closed the gap between the two of them, kissing Felix gently. The blonde's whole body was tense. He felt as stiff as a board. He hesitantly kissed back, the same time he did before.

It was the third kiss they had ever shared, yet it always felt like the first to Felix. His heart quickened even faster when he felt Chan's other hand cup his cheek, deepening the kiss even further.

Felix gripped into Chan's shirt, too afraid to actually touch his body fully. Right before Chan could go further he pulled away to lock eyes with Felix.

Felix quickly looked away, anxiety too much to handle in this very moment. "How far do you want me to go?" Chan asked, breathing heavily to help calm his nerves.

"I'll let you know... When it's t-too much for me." Felix nervously said, voice coming off extremely shaky. He closed his eyes once more, waiting for Chan to make the next move.

He watched Felix swallow hard, Adam's apple bobbing up and down. Chan was shocked Felix was even allowing such things. He almost expected to get kicked in the stomach again before the end of the day.

The older man captured Felix's lips once more, kiss much more intense than the last one. Chan was nervous, but in this moment nothing else mattered, only Felix.

He laid Felix down onto his back, kissing him passionately while on top of him.

The blonde hesitantly wrapped his arms around Chan, pulling him closer so that their chests were touching.

Chan made sure to keep his groin from making contact with Felix's body. The urge to grind onto him was tough to resist, especially since he was already painfully hard, but he didn't want to push. This was all too soon after all.

The kiss grew sloppy, tongues dancing around each other. Chan could tell Felix was inexperienced with kissing. He wasn't horrible, there was room for improvement. Chan wasn't one to judge though. He tried not to at least.

Felix's breathing grew heavier, small whimpers falling from his lips. Each noise made Chan's body react, member twitching unintentionally.

Chan had expected Felix to kick him by now, punch him even, yet it never happened. Chan moved his hands up into Felix's soft blonde locks, pulling it by accident.

"A-ah!" Felix moaned out, pulling away and covering his face. He was extremely embarrassed, yet Chan had thought he hurt him.

"Are you okay? Did I hurt you? I'm sorry!" Chan said, checking to make sure the blonde was okay. Felix shook his head no, eyes locked onto the wall on the other side of the room.

"I didn't hurt you?" Chan asked. Felix nodded no once more. "D-did you like it?" Chan asked.

"I-I'm not answering that!" Felix cried out, closing his eyes shut once more to signal the green light to continue. Chan smiled softly at him, kissing him once more.