As If I'd Ever Be Gay! || Chanlix

Chapter 41

Felix let out a loud sigh, grabbing clothes from his drawers and stuffing them into his bag. Him and Chan were leaving to visit his mom and her boyfriend for Christmas.

"Don't forget your toothbrush." Chan called from his room, gathering all his belongings as well.

The petite blonde made his way to the bathroom, grabbing his toothbrush and packing it away before skimming the room for any other belongings he would need.

"Got everything?" Chan's sweet voice rang, popping into the doorframe with a bright smile on his face.

Felix only nodded, letting out another sigh. He was nervous, but he needed to just go for it. Hiding wasn't an option anymore.

"Everything will be okay." Chan said, pulling Felix into a tight hug, eyes meeting with his own reflection in the mirror.

"I'm just so nervous." Felix croaked out.

"I understand." Chan reassured, kissing the top of Felix's head while running circles onto his back. "It's gonna be okay."

Felix only smiled at him, pulling away from the hug to lock eyes with his boyfriend. He let out a small giggle, eyes darting onto Chan's handsome features.

"I love you." Chan said, pulling Felix into a kiss. The blonde melted at the feeling of Chan's lips against his. He could tell Chan had just brushed his teeth, the taste of mint on his taste buds.

"I love you too." Felix shyly said in response.

"Let's get going." Chan requested, putting their bags in the car and driving to her house.

Chan and Felix stood there nervously on his mother's front porch. The cold winter air cut through their bones, making their teeth chatter. Felix shivered from both the cold and his anxiety. He was even more nervous than before. He was going to face his mom very soon.

"Remember what I told you. Breath, Lix. It's gonna be okay." Chan smiled. Felix only nodded, taking in a deep breath before knocking on the door.

He froze the second he saw his mom, biting his lips to try to calm his anxiety.

"My little Lixxie!" She cried out, grabbing her son in a tight hug. Felix hugged back, melting at the comforting feeling of being held by the woman who protected him his whole life.

Felix let out a small giggle, though his mind wouldn't stop running wild. The older woman pulled away, eyes locking onto Chan with a big smile on her face.

"You get more handsome each time I see you!" She laughed, tightly holding onto Chan in a firm hug.

Chan hugged back, giggling sweetly at the woman. Felix couldn't help but smile even though he felt anxious. He was beyond happy Chan had such a positive relationship with his family.

"Come in! Come in!" She said, waving the boys into the house. They both followed, Felix sparing a nervous glance at his boyfriend.

The older woman walked into the kitchen, both Chan and Felix following closely behind her.

"So we are having my famous kimchi fried rice tonight!" She happily said, food already cooking on the stove.

Felix could only let out a forced giggle. He was trying his best to remain calm, though the anxiety of what the future had in store terrified him.

"Is everything okay?" His mom asked, smile fading upon seeing that her son was visibly upset.

"I-I'm fine!" He quickly said in response. "W-where's your boyfriend at?" Felix asked, noticing that Mr. Kim, her boyfriend of four years, was missing. He was genuinely curious, but this was his attempt at changing the topic.

"He went to the store to buy us some drinks and snacks for tonight." His mom responded. Chan sat there awkwardly, feeling the tension build. The air became thick very quickly.

"Are you sure you're okay?" She asked once more, face saddening at the fact that her son wasn't happy to be there.

"C-can I have a second with Chan, mom?" Felix asked.

"Of course." She smiled, getting everything set up for dinner. The blonde thanked her before dragging Chan to the back of the house, furthest from the kitchen.

"What do I do?!" Felix cried out, breathing getting unsteady.

"Felix, look at me." Chan softly spoke, hands resting on the blonde's small shoulders. He rubbed gentle circles on the boney flesh, staring lovingly back at Felix.

"I-I don't think I can do this!" Felix whimpered, tears stinging his eyes. Rejection was something he had always feared. If the one person he loved most didn't except him, how could he continue to live?

"I have a plan, Lix." Chan calmly said, catching Felix's attention. The older man wiped the tears that fell before speaking once more, "I'm going to come out to your mom tonight while we eat dinner."

"Well, duh! T-that was originally the plan anyway!" Felix snapped, lightly slapping his boyfriend in the arm.

"Listen before you go hitting me please." Chan shot back, rolling his eyes in annoyance. Felix only scoffed, but stayed quiet, waiting patiently for what Chan had to say.

"Only I will come out tonight. We will not mention anything about you or our relationship. We will see how she reacts. If it's good, then you can come out, and we can both come out as a couple."

"If it's bad, act surprised. Don't let her know about us or you. We will go from there." Chan reassured, wiping more tears with his sleeve while smiling softly at Felix.

"B-but what if it's bad?! What if she hates you? I-I-" Felix choked out, wiping away at his eyes while smudging his makeup.

"It's going to be okay my love. Wether it's good or bad, we will get through this together." Chan pulled Felix into a tight hug, feeling the small body tremble in his arms.

Felix felt warm at the new nickname, yet his anxiety prevented him from fully enjoying the moment. He was so afraid of rejection. He was terrified of losing not only Chan, but his mother as well.

Felix's crying died down, arms still wrapped right around Chan's wide back. "Feeling better?" He asked. Felix only nodded, lightly kissing Chan's cheek. He appreciated Chan so much.

"Dinner's ready!" His mom called out. He let out a huge sigh. Here goes nothing.