As If I'd Ever Be Gay! || Chanlix

Chapter 18

Chan left Minho's house to meet up with Hyunjin that same day. They both met up at a park located in Seoul. Chan smiled once he saw a familiar tall figure sitting on a bench, waiting for him patiently.

"Hey! I'm here!" Chan said happily, running up to meet with the stunning brunette. Hyunjin smiled, pulling him into a tight hug before sitting back down on the bench. Chan's highlight of the day was seeing Hyunjin not only once, but twice in the same day. Hyunjin always knew how to make Chan feel better.

Not only were they ex lovers in the past, but they were also best friends. Chan had never let go of their close friendship, and still valued the close bond they shared.

"It's so beautiful here during this time of year." Hyunjin said, taking in the beautiful park they were in. It was very minimal, yet it was so pretty. There was a nice walking path with benches for people to sit on. The light poles were decorated with garland and beautiful white Christmas lights. There were pretty red bows on top of each pole to finish the aesthetic off.

"It really is." Chan said, loving the beautiful scenery. The lights twinkled so beautifully in the night, and the cold crisp air really added onto the whole vibe. Chan's mind was still clouded with the thought of Felix. He couldn't help but wonder if the blonde was okay. He knew he had crossed a line, but maybe this was what was needed.

He wondered how it would feel to take Felix to a place like this. Christmas was always his favorite holiday. Now that it was getting closer to that time of the year, maybe Felix would feel a bit happier. His mind was clouded with the thought of Felix. For some reason he was on his mind a lot more than usual.

"Hey! Earth to Channn!" Hyunjin said, waving his hand in front of the older man's face.

"Hmm? What?" Chan asked, finally connecting back with reality.

"You just seemed like you were in another world for a second. I just wanted to make sure you were okay is all." The long hair male said, smiling sweetly at his ex boyfriend he was still so in love with.

"Oh, y-yes I am okay. There's just been so much going on with Felix. I don't really know how to explain it." He said, watching Hyunjin's smile fall. "I-I'm sorry I keep talking about him! We should be enjoying our outing together instead of me killing the mood with my Felix drama." Chan said, trying to make the mood better.

"N-no! It's okay! Do you want to vent? I'll gladly listen." Hyunjin said, resting a hand on Chan's shoulder. He gave him a soft welcoming smile that made Chan melt on the inside. Hyunjin was like a warm home you couldn't wait to get back to on a cold winter day. He always made Chan feel safe.

"I really do appreciate it, Jinnie. Truly I do, but I don't think I'd want to burden you with all of my drama." Chan said, both men falling into a deep silence in the empty park. The silence was so loud before Hyunjin got up to his feet, watching Chan's face contort into confusion.

"Tag." The younger male said, tapping Chan on the shoulder before running away giggling. Chan couldn't help but smile, getting to his feet and chasing the tall brunette to tag him back.

"I haven't played tag in 12 years!" Chan shouted, giggling while Hyunjin ran from him. Fuck he was fast.

"Well Channie!" Hyunjin said, taking in deep breaths. "I think it's nice to enjoy your inner child every once in a while!" He giggled, growing slower the longer they ran.

"Since when did you get so fast?!" Chan asked, stopping and resting his hands on his knees.

"Oh come on grandpa. We barely even started." He laughed, big beautiful smile never leaving his face.

"Don't grandpa me! Back in my day I used to be able to out run you in gym class!" Chan laughed, chasing Hyunjin once more. "Back in your day, huh? What an old man!" Hyunjin said in response, turning around and sticking his tongue out towards Chan's direction.

Chan was slowly gaining up on him, sweet victory growing so close. Hyunjin giggled, turning around once more to meet eyes with a happy Chan. "Come on grandpa-" Hyunjin said, stumbling onto his footing and falling backwards onto the ground. Chan stopped as fast as possible, trying to avoid hurting Hyunjin.

The older male fell on top of the young brunette, catching himself so he wouldn't hurt Hyunjin by accident. Both boys were a giggling mess. "Fuck that hurt!" Hyunjin giggled, slowly opening his eyes to meet Chan's.

He didn't realize that Chan was on top of him, because he was holding all his weight to avoid crushing Hyunjin by accident. Chan was giggling himself, not aware of how close both of them actually were.

Right before Chan calmed down from his fit of laughter it started to snow. Cold droplets fell on top of both of them, causing Chan to open his eyes and look up. "It's snowing!" Chan happily said, looking down to finally meet Hyunjin's eyes.

Their faces were inches apart and Chan for some reason felt frozen. He hasn't been this close to Hyunjin in so long. The silence between both men was loud. Chan tried reading the look on the younger man's face. He couldn't quite pin point it.

Hyunjin lifted his head, meeting lips with Chan's plush ones. He wrapped his arms around Chan, pulling him closer to deepen the kiss. Both men kissed passionately, remembering their high school memories together. Chan knew he shouldn't be kissing him right now. It felt wrong, yet it was comforting because of how familiar both men were with one another.

Chan quickly came to his sense, pulling away and getting up to his feet. He awkwardly dusted himself off before offering a hand for Hyunjin. "I-I'm really sorry. I couldn't help myself." Hyunjin said, dusting himself off as well.

"No no no. It's okay, I just wasn't expecting it is all." Chan awkwardly said, looking away.

"Maybe I was looking too deep into things?" Hyunjin questioned, voice growing weak in embarrassment.

"What do you mean?" Chan questioned.

"I had just thought that maybe you still felt the same way... Even after all these years." He sighed, running a hand through his hair.

"Oh... I honestly don't think I feel that way about you anymore." Chan said. It was blunt and harsh, but sometimes that's how you have to be in order to get your point across.

"D-don't get me wrong though! I still love and care for you. I also think you're really amazing and I missed you so much, but I-I have feelings for somebody else." Chan said, hating for having to hurt yet another person in the same day.

"Is it Felix?" Hyunjin asked, eyes growing watery.

"It's Felix." Chan said, watching a singular tear fall from Hyunjin's pretty face.

"I won't tell you who to love and who not to love, but please keep in mind how he treats you. I say this as your friend, not your lover. I care about you and don't want you hurt, so be cautious is all I ask." Hyunjin smiled through the pain, pulling Chan into a tight hug. He knew it was Felix. It was always Felix.

"Please take care of yourself and do what makes you happy, Channie." Hyunjin said, pulling away with teary eyes.

"Only if you do the same." Chan smiled, wiping the tears that fell with the sleeve of his sweater.

"Well it's getting late so I have to go, but I'll keep in contact." Chan waved before saying his goodbyes and going home.

Hyunjin was hurt, but he knew that he couldn't control who Chan wanted. Even if that person was destructive.