As If I'd Ever Be Gay! || Chanlix

Chapter 29

Felix looked at Chan, a look of fear and distaste on his features. He watched as Minho walked away before turning his attention to the older man, "Does he know something?" Felix whispered, trying to keep his voice low so others wouldn't overhear. 

"No, he doesn't." The brunette partially lied. Minho was obviously aware of their whole plan to make Felix come out, given he was behind it all, but Minho wasn't aware of the fact that the plan actually worked. 

Chan watched as the freckled man let out a sigh of relief. "You're sure?" He questioned, finishing up his case file for the day. "I am positive." Chan reassured, finishing up his file as well, thankful that he didn't have to stay late. It was finally the end of the day and he was ready to go home. 

"Sounds like a date, huh?" Felix bitterly said, rolling his eyes. Felix was obviously jealous, though he really had nothing to be jealous of in reality. Minho and Chan were best friends, and most importantly, Minho was his boss. That along with the fact that Jisung and Minho were in a long term relationship. 

"Yes? It was a joke, Lix." Chan deadpanned. "Why does it bother you anyway? I can't catch any disease now given I have said disease." Chan questioned, indirectly mentioning his sexuality. 

"That doesn't matter." Felix bitterly said, jealousy laced in his tone. 

"Are you jealous?" He asked, watching Felix's cheeks get coated with a pretty pink blush. The blonde didn't respond, walking to a bin with Changbin's name on it and dropping the case file he worked on inside it. 

"You're jealous, aren't you?" Chan said, smiling brightly at Felix. 

"I-I mean isn't it obvious? You called me out on it before." Felix blushed, rolling his eyes in annoyance. 

"Well I don't see why you would be. Minho and Jisung are dating and they have been for the longest time." Chan reassured. It felt weird to reassure him in a way as if they were dating. They weren't together, so Chan didn't really see the need to reassure the blonde, yet he did it anyway. Felix was so complicated at times. The blonde remained quiet, expecting more from his best friend. 

"What?" Chan said, walking to Seungmin's bin and dropping his case file in there so he could look over it in the morning. 

"And?" Felix snapped. 

"I don't know what else you want me to say, Lix." Chan shrugged, walking out of the law firm to their car while Felix followed behind him. 

"Just because Minho is dating somebody doesn't mean he isn't into you. He's a homo after all." Felix said. "And you aren't?" The brunette said, unsure of how exactly to feel in this very moment. 

"N-not the point here!" Felix said in defense, not daring to look the older man in the eye. 

"And what does that even mean? 'He's a homo after all'?" The brunette said, starting up the car and driving back to their apartment. 

"That doesn't matter." Felix snapped once more, growing upset that Chan was too busy defending Minho rather than reassuring him. "Listen, Lix. Minho and I are friends. He does not like me and I most definitely do not like him. I value my job and getting involved with my boss like that would be extremely stupid of me." He reassured, finally bringing a bit of ease to the blonde. 

"S-sorry for getting snappy." Felix said after a couple minutes of uncomfortable silence. He hated how he got this way when it came to Chan. He knew Chan was aware of why he was asking too. He was almost certain the brunette was aware of his obvious feelings for him. He had to be aware, because if he wasn't then Chan was just plain stupid at this point. 

"It's okay, Lix. You have no reason to be upset. You already know how I feel and who my heart belongs too after all." Chan smiled, causing Felix to get that same giddy feeling in his chest. He knew Chan was talking about him. The tension between both men has grown so strong these past couple days. Felix wanted to open up about his feelings for his childhood best friend, but something was stopping him from doing so.

He was aware of Chan's feelings. He knew Chan felt the same way, so fear of rejection couldn't quite be it. He was still somewhat having a hard time accepting the fact that he was gay. He was out to Chan of course, but it still for some reason felt wrong. His feelings have gotten easier to manage, yet coming to terms with everything has taken a bit of time. 

The progress the blonde has made was honestly shocking to both men. Felix was accepting, just not fully, which was way better than nothing. Felix has made much progress, mainly because he was tired of living in a cage. He couldn't keep lying to himself, and Chan helped him break free, even if it was approached in the wrong way. 

Felix hid his smile, glancing over to the brunette for the first time since their car ride. He felt his heart flutter in his chest when his eyes locked on his best friend. The way his left arm controlled the steering wheel while his right arm rested on the arm of the seat was oddly hot to Felix. 

His side profile looked flawless. Chan was always insecure of his nose, but Felix found that to be the most attractive feature on his face, aside from those dreamy eyes and kissable lips of course. The brunette focused on the road, turning down the main street to their apartment. Felix bit his lip, getting turned on by the sight of Chan driving. 

Felix didn't care about the dirty thoughts and how gay they were anymore. His dirty thoughts have gotten harder to control these days, and he has grown used to them. He's grown used to the painfully strong urge to get railed by his best friend. He didn't care how gay it was, he wanted Chan more than anything, yet he was too much of a coward to admit it.