Time and Fallen Leaves :: jeongcheol

TAFL :: 63

*jeonghan*

"w-what?"

she looked away and covered her mouth using her hand then she cried, loud enough to break my heart into tiny pieces. the sound of her cry was so desvastating to hear that made me shed tears already even though i told to myself that i must not cry in front of her because i wanted her to see me as her strong brother, and i want to show her that even though im like some girls, she still could see me as strong and as hard as some big brother out there.

but how could i do it when shes there, crying and thats because she accepted, she followed what our parents want her to do even though i know, she doesnt want it. and you know what made me hard to do be strong right now? is because she told me that she did it because she wanted me to be happy. she wanted me to be happy for what?! does she think knowing what she did could make me happy? no! it wasnt!

i shook my head and swallowed hard. "you want me to be happy?" she nodded, still eyes away from me, crying and was still covering her mouth using her hand. "and do you think knowing that you adhere what our parents want you to do could make me happy? this wouldn't make me happy, yoon jiwoㅡ"

"i want you to be happy or what, wala din naman akong magiging choice! i just accepted my fate kasi dito naman talaga ako babagsak! parents didn't have to force me because i could see this thing coming and i need them to support me for my schoolings, i need them for me to live!" she sounded like shes really fine and confident about the decision she made earlier that i could see the determination in her eyes. "and who am i to have the audacity'ng hindi sundin yung gusto nila? im not like you. . and i dont want to be like you."

"jiwon. ."

it broke my heart more hearing her saying that she doesnt have any choice but to follow what our parents want her to do at tinanggap nya nalang because she had already knew that this was coming on her way. i remembered and i saw myself on her way back when i was starting college, sa sobrang kagustuhan kong maging doctor just like them, i thought that whatever they want me to do, was all for the best of me. . and now jiwon was saying the same, shes on the same stone i used to get stuck with.

no matter what i did, she still had to fall on the same shoes as mine.

she wipe her tears again. "no matter what you say, you cant change my mind. i need our parents for me to live, and in order to live, i need to follow what they want me to do. ganyan ka din naman diba?" my heart shrink at that question. she had already knew shes going to be the same as i was. "plus i want them to be proud of me, yung ako naman hindi puro ikaw. gusto ko din maramdaman na proud sila sakin, that i deserve to be called a doctor just like our parents. . and just like how they thought of you."

"so p-please, huwag mo na kong pigilan. this is my decision, you cant change my mind."

i shook my head. "jiwon please, you're too young for this."