Time and Fallen Leaves :: jeongcheol

TAFL :: epilogue

*seungcheol*

"two more years, anak. you'll finally have to choose yourself once again."

my gaze slowly shifted from the contract i was reading to my mom who sat across me with her usual sweet smile while looking at me with that emotions in her eyes seeing me reading the contract this country had provided for me. it was my migration contract that i need to fulfill for being a spanish resident here for seven years, and now they sent it to me because two years exactly from now, i could finally be able to go back to korea... after that long years.

i pursed my lips. "i want to take you with me... can you, mom?" i pleaded once again.

because no matter how i wanted to go back to korea, but i dont want to leave my mom here alone again. shes been alone here and shes all been with herself for all those years that we're away from each other and not now that even if shes cancer free already, i still couldn't leave her behind like that again. i love her so much and i want to take her with me kasi doon, nandon ako, nandon si areum, may kasama sya unlike here that shes been with other families. yeah, sila tita isabelle and her family was the one she have here until today at ayaw ko na syang iwan pa sakanila.

but she seemed doesnt like the idea of it. i was telling her na ikukuha ko sya nang visa at magiipon ako para sa plane ticket namin parehas, but whenever i was telling that to her, she was always stopping me saying that she'll be fine here alone with auntie isabelle's family and that she wanted me to choose myself.. but little did she know that how come could i choose myself when i know that when i did it, may maiiwan at may masasaktan akong tao? and thats her.. my mother. shes one of the most important persons in my life.

she shook her head. "no, im staying here. we've talked that enough right? areum was waiting for you there... and also the love of your life."

"kahit na ma, please? come with me, lets go back to korea."

but guess that she doesn't want to argue about that matter anymore again, she just smiled at me then she stood up and reminded me to lock all the doors before i go to sleep. i was left here at the salas while watching her going to her room to sleep already, i heave a sighed and stared at the contract i was reading since earlier. hindi ko alam pero hindi ko makuhang maexcite knowing that my mom dont want to come with me and to go back to korea... and also because jeonghan, my jeonghan doesn't want me anymore.

he was tired of waiting for me, and he was done with me already. ayaw nya na. pagod na sya. and that realization always hits me, ano pang silbi na babalik ako sa korea, e kung yung dapat kong balikan, ayaw na sakin? that's why im contemplating whether to file an agreement of staying and living here for the rest of my life or just follow what my contract says.

the next day, i did not missed to asked my mom if her decision was final to stay here with auntie isabelle or she wanted to come with me already para maasikaso ko na papers namin hanggat maaga, but just like her same and usual answer, she wanted to stay here and she even pushed me alone. i was left no choice but to do what she wants. i arrived at the sites late before my usual and when i got there, i tried so hard not to look at the entrance of this hospital because i know if i did, i would just get reminded of our some sort of moments there... when he was still here.