Best Friends Last Forever ✔️

Part 22: I. Am. Fine.

Five hours later Meredith lied in bed with a heating pad on her stomach. After she had woken up again Connie the OB-surgeon had performed the C&C and she left the hospital against medical advice before Amelia had brought her home. The miscarriage felt completely different then the first one. Back then she hadn't really had time to think about it a lot because of how much she was concerned over Derek after he was shot. But now... As a doctor she knew that it wasn't her fault that she lost the baby but a growing part of her thought exactly that. At first she wasn't utterly happy about the fact that she was pregnant but now, now that she lost the child she realised how happy she had actually been. Derek was dead. She had never imagined to be with anyone else after his death but it felt so right. Being with Andrew just felt right.

Suddenly her phone rang. It was Andrew. "Hey" she replied calmly, moving a little which made her wince in pain. "Hey Mer" he said sadly. "How are you?" she asked concerned. The fact that she wasn't with him while he was hurting killed her. It felt like she was a bad person but he said he had to do this alone right? "I'm okay" he sighed. "You?"

"I-I'm fine, just worried about you. It just doesn't feel right that I'm almost 10.000 km away, but you have Carina... you're okay right?" she asked quietly, tears beginning to well up in her eyes. "Oh Mer. I'm okay really. It's hard but the past few days- talking to you makes it a lot easier." "You're cheesy Andrew" she chuckled, quickly wiping her eyes. He continued to talk to her as she just listened to his voice, not fully comprehending what he said. How on earth was she going to tell him that she didn't only got pregnant when they were just about two months together but she also lost their child. How?

"Mer you still there?" he suddenly asked which made her jump slightly. "Yeah I'm here" she replied in a monotone voice. "Is everything okay? You seem so unfocused" he asked concernedly. "No, no I'm fine, really just a little tired I'm sorry, so sorry I-I should be listening to you I mean y-you lost your mother and your hurting I'm so sorry I'm a horrible person" she said, the tears now falling down freely. "And now I'm crying but I don't have a right to cry because I'm fine, I'm okay really just, just k-keep talking I promise I'm listening." She rambled, praying that he wouldn't say anything about her sudden emotional outburst. "Mer, you're the complete opposite of a horrible person, you're amazing. You have been listening to me talking for hours and hours the past days and- I know that you maybe just said it accidently and didn't mean to, I heard what you said and- I really hate doing this over the phone but I love you too." He said, as she laid there, her eyes closed, cuddling with the red blanket which has arms. The one he got her in Boston.

"What's going on Mer? You've never been so- so self-doubting. What's wrong?" he asked with a worried voice. "I'm sorry I-I'm okay really don't worry about me. Please. Just focus on you I'm okay I promise." She quickly said just wanting him to stop asking questions. "Meri" he said quietly which was like a punch right into her stomach. He hadn't called her 'Meri' in such a long time. Decades. "Please" she said with a shaky voice. "Okay, I'll leave it but you know that you can talk to me about everything, at any time. Even if my mom just died I'm here for you, no matter what." He said reassuringly which made her heart flutter. She didn't deserve him.

"Close your eyes" he said, not knowing that her eyes were already closed to prevent her eyes from letting any more tears slip. "Think about me kissing your cheek, bringing you close to my chest, you're hearing my heart beat and you're slowly falling asleep. No worries, no sorrows, nothing, just sleep" he kinda made her feel like a little child but it helped. She actually fell asleep after a few minutes with a slight smile on her face, tears still streaming down her cheeks.

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The next morning, she woke up in a great amount of pain. She could have stood up to get some meds but somehow she couldn't. She couldn't move. Her whole body felt so heavy that it was impossible for her to even move a single muscle. She just laid there, still curled up in Andrew's blanket, staring at the ceiling. 'I am weak' she suddenly thought. Now Andrew wasn't only worrying about his sister while being devastated because his mother just died, No. She had to let her emotions become the best of her and now he was worried about her too. Great.