Best Friends Last Forever ✔️

Part 48: Next crisis ahead

The following week Meredith kept having awful nightmares about Andrew dying and she hated the fact that she had to talk about how she always saw his lifeless body in a puddle of his own blood and describe how she would bend down, trying to find his heartbeat but not hearing anything. But Dr. Wyatt always said that she had to talk about it to comprehend it. And that sucked.

Three days ago they had given her back her phone since there was now increasing progress with her eating habits visible. Having her phone back made it easier to call and text Andrew whenever she wanted although after the third night in a row she was scared to call him, feeling guilty of waking him up every single night.

With the nightmares there also came anxiety attacks. And since she had had the same dream for the last six days which always came along with an attack she was feeling exhausted every single day. After she had stopped calling Andrew to reassure herself he was okay it now took her longer to calm herself down and the increasing pain she felt every single time she would wake up at night in a puddle of her own sweat feeling like she had just ran a marathon, was only getting worse the more anxiety attacks she had.

Right now she really thought about if she'd rather go back to being not able to eat anything for more than a week or if it was better to see the man she loved dying over and over again while feeling like she's being stabbed with a knife several times.

Andrew hadn't had much time visiting the past few days since he had a pretty busy schedule as he was still covering her service. But honestly she was okay with it since she hated lying to him. He always came in the morning before his shift started and in the evening, before driving back home. The rest of the day she was sleeping since the anxiety attacks were extremely exhausting and had her worn out every single time.

Group therapy. Great. It was 5 minutes to 5pm so she had to go over into the common room in a few minutes. Group therapy was at least better than normal therapy where it was just you and your therapist because in a group you weren't obligated to talk since there were at least fifteen other people who could say something instead.

She quickly got dressed, of course in one of Andrew's pullovers, after she had spent the whole day in her pyjama, too tired to move a single muscle. She slowly walked over to the big room down the hallway. Sleeping the whole day for the last few days was why she had also missed a few meals but she didn't care about that right now since it looked like as soon as she had survived one crisis the next would follow very closely. And that honestly took all the strength she had left out of her.

As she reached the room the couches, armchairs and chairs were already sat up in a circle and Dr. Wyatt as well as Dr. Johnson and Dr. Carter were discussing something at the little kitchen in the corner of the room. On the couch there already sat a few people. Some of them new, some of them familiar.

She sat down in one of the comfortable armchairs next to an empty chair and the sofa on which Emily, a younger woman with also an eating disorder, and a boy she didn't knew were in a deep conversation.

Meredith hadn't had talked much to the other patients since socialising really was the last thing on her mind at the moment.

She took off her shoes, tucking her feet under herself while trying to disappear as far as possible into the armchair, looking down at her lab while nervously fidgeting with her hands.

Right in this moment the door suddenly opened and two other doctors came in whom she immediately recognized. Two of her former interns.

She felt her chest tighten, breathing suddenly becoming a difficult challenge as the three doctors, followed by the two interns, came over to which twelve of the normally fifteen to twenty patients were already seated. As they sat down Dr. Carter started to speak, standing up as Dr. Wyatt and Dr. Johnson sat down on both of his sides.