TW⚠️* for Part 20 and following;
Meredith Grey is a lonely and still grieving widow after the death of her husband, not knowing if she is ever going to be able to find love again. But is this about to change when she is reunited with her childhood b...
Slight trigger warning because of the mention of eating disorders
"How is Carina?" Meredith asked as they laid in his bed that evening. "I think she's okay. It's hard... she lived with mom and took care of her after I moved back to the states. Actually... uhm- she wanted to come here for a week or so. She already booked a flight for the next weekend. Her girlfriend is also coming with her so my place will probably be a little full and uhm- I didn't want her to go to a hotel so I said she could have my apartment but honestly, she is coping with well uhm... when I stayed at her place the last week I only could sleep with earplugs..." he said hesitantly but she instantly understood what he wanted to ask.
"You can move to my house for the time if you want" she said with no emotion in her voice. She didn't want to sound so cold but she felt empty. "Are you sure?" he asked. "Yeah I'm sure" she said. She was sure. She wanted him close. "You sound like you'd rather be alone" he then said slowly, scared he might push her too far. "No- I don't. I'd like having you over. Really. C-can I tell you something?" she replied. "Everything" he gave back slightly afraid what it might be what made her so nervous. "I know that this sounds selfish but- it would've been a lot easier if you would have been here. And- I absolutely hate myself for thinking that" she whispered, scared to hear his answer. "It's not selfish I-I thought the same. It would have been easier for me too if you would have been there." He replied softly.
"I'm sorry I wasn't there for you" she said and he replied "Me too." "Can I ask you something too?" he begun and continued as she nodded. "Did you plan on keeping the baby?"
"Yeah" she replied after a few seconds. "It would have been scary and I am so not ready to have a child with you because, I mean we don't even live together and I don't even know where you want this relationship to go and if you even plan on letting it last that long but, I would have kept it"
"First of all. Mer, I- I have to confess something and I have to give you something." He said as he slowly stood up and grabbed a little box out of nightstand. As he sat back down on the bed she moved into a sitting position too, afraid of what would come next.
"Are you...?" she begun but he interrupted her "N-no no don't worry Mer I'm not proposing" he chuckled, taking her hand in his. "Listen. Mer, since we were little kids I imagined you to be the person I would spend the rest of my life with. But- given circumstances prevented that. I know that you're not ready and that you're scared because everything is happening so fast right now. You said that you love me, but I think you said it because you just found out you were pregnant and were in shock but exactly that shows me that you meant it. And really I think that it's going pretty fast right now too but I'm not complaining, because... I love you too Mer. And this-" he opened the black box, revealing a small, golden ring with one shiny diamond.
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"Oh Andrew" Meredith gasped as she saw the ring. "-this is a promise ring. I promise, that I'll be here for you no matter what happens. That you can tell me everything. At any time. Even if it's three o'clock in the morning, you can always come to me. I love you Meredith Grey and no matter where this relationship is going, I promise you I'll never leave. I'll never run. I Promise." He picked up the ring, took her hand and put the ring on her finger. "I-I-I don't know what to say, this is, - perfect. I love you too. So much" she said as she looked at him, her eyes filling with tears for the millionth time today, leaning forward, pulling him into a long and passionate kiss.
"It's going to be okay right?" she said as they rested in a tight hug. "I really hope so" he said, rubbing her back up and down.
______________
A few days later, Meredith was alone in her bathroom thinking about the things that had happened the past few weeks. Today Alex had come over and told her the details about him and Jo moving to New York. She was kinda mad at him. But he got an offer as chief of surgery in a hospital in NY so she was also kind of proud of him since she still remembered how he had behaved in their intern year.
Amelia and Maggie luckily gave up the theory about Meredith having depression. Honestly she still didn't feel slightly different from how she felt the days after the miscarriage. Well actually she felt even worse but was determined not to show this to anyone. Not even Andrew. Because they were happy. Very happy. She loved her promise ring. She couldn't stop looking at it in every given opportunity. It was beautiful.
Tomorrow was the evening Andrew's sister and her girlfriend would move into his apartment for the next week and he was going to come over. But now she was alone. Andrew was at his place, arranging it for his guests while she stood in her bathroom, looking at herself in the mirror. She looked pale. She had bags under her eyes. She kept starring at herself until her gaze wandered to the shelf where she spotted a set of scales on top of the cabinet. It had been ages since she last weighted herself. Carefully she moved it down and stepped onto them.
She had lost almost 5 pounds (that's about 2.5 kg). And somehow it felt good. Her weight was something she had actually control over. The weight loss was probably to blame on the miscarriage and the resulting stress but it felt good to see the number being a little lower. Really good. She knew that she shouldn't think this because it would probably lead her into an eating disorder but she couldn't help but feel relieved. So there finally was something she had control over.
