Best Friends Last Forever ✔️

Part 27: I miss you

"Mer. We need to talk" he said as the two of them sat on the couch, watching a movie on the last evening before Andrew would move back into his apartment. Fear instantly started to build up inside of her. Did she do something wrong? Was he going to break up with her? Her breathing begun to get irregular but she tried to hide it. "What's wrong?" she asked with a shaky voice which didn't go unnoticed by Andrew. "Mer... nothing is wrong I- what's going on...?" he said as he noticed the tears welling up in her eyes. "I-I'm okay... just ignore me, keep talking" she said as she turned her face away from him now that she couldn't control the tears which were now falling her cheeks down freely. "Mer, everything is okay, why are you crying?" he asked as he pulled her into his arms. "I'm not crying" she said sternly. "Mer..." he begun but she interrupted him by saying in a loud voice: "Stop! I am not crying, just tell me when you want to break up"

Where the hell was that coming from. Andrew sat there in complete shock. Why would she think that he wanted to break up with her? "W-Why would you think that I want to break up with you?" he asked. "Mer, I love you. I am not going to break up with you" he said, turning around so that he could look into her eyes. "I-I I'm sorry" she whispered with so much sadness in her voice that it broke his heart while she kept looking down at her hands. "I-I wanted to ask you, well uhm- I really loved this week. I love living with you Mer so I wanted to ask you- what would speak against living together like on long term. I know that you're probably not ready for that but I- I would really love to live with you" he said, stroking her cheek as he lifted up her chin.

"You don't want to break up with me?" she asked what scared him. "No- where is this coming from Meri" he replied, now really worried about her. She wasn't eating, she wasn't sleeping much and she had unreasonable emotional outbursts. Something was wrong. Very wrong.

"I- n-nothing... It's nothing I'm sorry I-I would love to live with you Andrew. Really." She said, smiling at him now a little. "Please tell me what's going on" he said, taking her hand in his. She looked at him. For a few seconds she thought about telling him. About everything that was going on. But she couldn't. She couldn't do that right? But then she began to speak. And at one point she couldn't stop anymore.

"Y-you remember a few days ago... when I-I had a nightmare and woke you up?" she asked shyly, looking into his eyes as he nodded. "I-I didn't want to tell you about it because I thought that you would think I'm pathetic" but as Andrew opened his mouth to reply she said "Please let me finish." And he nodded again. "At the dinner, where Ellis asked if we would get married and I said that we wouldn't I was suddenly scared that you could think that I meant 'never'. B-but I didn't mean that. And s-since then I had nightmares... every single night... about you leaving. A-and I didn't want to tell you b-because it's embarrassing and stupid and I somehow hate myself for thinking that." She continued, not able to look into his eyes anymore.

She wanted to tell him more. She wanted to tell him everything. She wanted to tell him about what was going on. She wanted to ask him for help. She knew that she needed help but she was yet again scared that he would leave her when he would find out how messed up she is. It felt so good telling him at least something from the long list of things.

"Oh Mer. I didn't even think about this. I understood this exactly how you meant it, don't worry" he said as he brought her close again, letting her head rest on his chest. "You had nightmares about me leaving you because of one single sentence you said?" he asked and she hesitantly nodded.

"You haven't been feeling well the past few weeks right?" he begun carefully, thinking that this may be the right time to ask her about the thinks he noticed. "I'm fine" she replied coldly. "You're not fine Mer" he replied slowly.

They fell in silence. He waited for her to think about what he said and then hopefully open up to him. He wanted to help her. "Mer- I know that a lot of things happened to you. And right now it may seem to you like everything is falling apart around you but uhm- I-I want to help you Mer. But I don't know if I can. I thought that you could maybe tell someone-" but he was interrupted as Meredith suddenly stood up and looked at him with anger in her eyes. "You want me to see a shrink?" she said, obviously hurt by this thought.

"Mer I want to help you" he said, standing up as well. "Why does everyone think that I need help!" she replied angrily. "Mer that's not you. You haven't been you ever since I came back from Italy. And- I miss you. I miss my Meri" he said softly, slowly moving towards her. She looked at him. At what he saw in her eyes broke his heart. She looked so insecure, so small and vulnerable. He took her into his arms and he felt her instantly relax as she put her arms around his waist too.

"Can we just go to sleep" she said after a few minutes and they pulled apart. He sighed and looked at her. He wanted nothing more than to help her. But he also knew that pushing her probably wasn't a step in the right direction. "Okay" he then finally gave in and they went to bet together.

TO BE CONTINUED...