Dallas Winston - 𝕀𝕞𝕒𝕘𝕚𝕟𝕖𝕤/ℍ𝕖𝕒𝕕𝕔𝕒𝕟𝕠𝕟𝕤

♡︎cry harder

September 29, 1965                           Dallas is back.

The way I walked out on him, I felt like my mother. I promised myself back then that I'd never end up like my parents, never find somebody like my father.

This all made me cry a little harder. He knew what he was doing when he did it. He stole my heart and forgot to give it back.

He knocked on my window tonight, I didn't know what to say. I should have let him in but instead I looked at him and shut my blinds. He continued to bang on my window, I didn't know what he wanted.

It got me thinking when I was trying to drown out the sounds of his desperate attempts to win me back, I still love him. I have a insufferable amount of love for him. It's terribly unfair for me to leaving him like this, but he knew what he was doing.

September 31, 1965                    I let him in again.

He kept coming back, finally I caved in and let him in. He got on his knees, literally, and begged me to take him back. I was surprised by this desperate act, it wasn't like him.

I told him I needed time, I couldn't trust him anymore, and he knew what he was doing when he did it. He agreed with me and told me he was so desperately sorry.

I then got on my knees in front of him and I noticed something wrong. He was lying, he wasn't that desperate. He just wanted me to be under his spell again. He had that look in his eyes like his plan wasn't successful.

I kicked him out and he was confused but I didn't really care. He had the nerve, to come into my house, and beg me to stay while lying straight to my face. Once a liar, always a liar. I should have known.

----

"Damn." I said. I looked at Johnny and he had his usual anxious face. I put the book back and I looked out her window to see if she had arrived yet, for my warning.

"This is wrong." Johnny said and I rolled my eyes. "Shut it Johnnycakes, I needed to know how she felt about me." I checked my pockets for cigarettes and cursed when I didn't find them.

"She obviously hates you. I mean, you did lie multiple times." He shifted uncomfortably and the door opened and we heard her put her backpack down before she noticed us. I turned around and saw her.

She was scared to see me. She was scared, and angry. She looked at Johnny and gave a softer look but back at me and she looked like she was about to burn me.

"You broke into my house?" She yelled and I chuckled. "Chill out doll." I said, and put my hands in my pockets. She walked up to me and shoved me but I just fell back a little.

"Am I making you mad? You gonna write about this in your little diary? How I broke your little fragile heart? How I lied to you? You gonna go cry a little more harder tonight?" I mocked her and she looked like I had just murdered her dog. It was amusing to me, seeing her just as hurt as I was. "You read my fucking shit too?" She snatched the book and saw the cigarette burn I put over the paper with my last light.

She stared at it then back at me. She had an unusual fire in her eyes. She began to beat me with the hard cover book until I was on the floor. Johnny tried breaking it up but it was no use. I had bruises all over my body now, I didn't know that she could ever hurt somebody like this.

I looked at her, I was seriously scared. She looked at me and she immediately regretted what she had just done. She stood and quivered. I carefully stood up and wrapped her in a hug. It's what she needed.

She began to cry. She held onto the back of my jacket like she was gonna die if she didn't. She had left tear stains on my shirt, and she was biting her lip the entire time, what she did when she knew she was scared.

"Don't worry Doll." I said and she began to cry harder. I just kept her there until she calmed down. She pulled away and looked at me and examined my body. She saw the multiple bruises that had already formed.

She walked up to Johnny and hugged him too. She buried her face into the crook of his neck. I slipped out of the window and left. I walked home and left Johnny there. She wasn't gonna take me back, and it's dawned on me then.