This Time

|2| IKALAWANG KABANATA

AIDEN

"Are you sure you don't want me to walk you to class?" 

Tapping my foot against the floor, I waited as the couple finished talking before we bid goodbye to Lexie and Zoey, who have become what I can call companions. It's weird to say we are friends after two days of hanging out. 

Julius and I are together since we are both taking nursing. Lexie made it clear for him to stick with me, which Julius had no problem with, surprisingly. I thought he would've complained and wanted to join his girlfriend instead.

As we walked along the corridor to go to our first course, I took the initiative to start a conversation and asked him how he met Lexie. He seems excited to tell me about their relationship. And I wondered why his eyes shine as he talks about her. Why does his voice sound so happy, and why is he smiling at the thought of her? 

I wondered how he knew he was in love.

Despite the many books I've read and films I've watched that fall under the genre of romance, I'm still left wondering how people fall in love and how they know. And how they know what type of love they are feeling. Sometimes it makes me think about how they know whether the love they have for someone is platonic or romantic.What confuses me more is the concept of love at first sight. How do they fall for someone they just met? Is it possible? More importantly, how do people fall for their best friend? After a long-standing platonic love, how does it change into a romantic feeling? It baffles me when people say it. Or maybe it's because I haven't experienced it. Are there signs to look for that I'm not aware of?

"How about you, Aiden? Do you have someone you like?" Julius' question brought me out of my confusing thoughts. 

I shook my head. "I don't."

"Well, what kind of person do you like?"

"I've never really thought of it." I scratched the back of my neck shyly. "I've never been in a relationship." And I don't think I will ever be in one. Not that it matters. 

Julius patted my shoulder after noticing my embarrassment. "That's okay, you're not required to be in a relationship. If I didn't meet Lexie, I would've been happily single too," he said with a smile, easing my shyness. "But I'm glad I met her. She's the love of my life."

"That's cute," I commented, smiling genuinely. 

"Enough about that; I'm curious. Who are you attracted to? Gender-wise." 

"I am attracted to women," I started, and I couldn't help but chuckle when he gave me a high-five. "It's just that relationships aren't my priority." Besides, who would want to date me? I thought to myself.

"Family?" I nodded.

"Same, I'm taking nursing for my family instead of pursuing music. It has better opportunities, you know."

"Maybe you can do both if an opportunity comes," I suggested. 

"Hopefully in the future."

Once we arrived at the room, we took seats next to each other in the middle row. A lot of students were already seated as they talked among themselves. Julius and I started our own conversation about Marvel as we waited for the first professor. The morning classes went by fast. We got introduced to some of our professors and their minor courses, as well as our classmates. For my afternoon schedule, I only have one major course with 3 units, making me sigh out of tiredness. 

I stared down at the image on my phone; it was taken a year ago, after I visited my mama in the Philippines. The officer, as always, was kind enough to let me bring my phone inside and have contact with her to take a picture. Although she looked tired, her lips displayed a wide smile, her dark brown eyes shining with happiness as her arms wrapped around me. I printed out the picture and gave it to her—a routine we always do whenever I visit. It was a promise we made to each other before she was taken by the officers.