You're The One

Chapter 10

MLS: YOU'RE THE ONE

CHAPTER 10:
"LEO'S BIRTHDAY PART 2"

I don't know why but I think I hear my heart breaking inside me then heard nothing but silence afterwards. I saw nothing but fear. I felt nothing but pain. I predicted nothing in the future but rejection and heartbreak. I felt numb and I felt my system breaking apart.

I've felt this before but this one is new. This one is painful.

Assume—that is mostly the thing I do when I had a crush on someone. I know it's common and shouldn't affect me much, but as a person with a serious personality, I take what I feel seriously and assume that every little detail he made to make me smile is just for me even if his perspective contradicts mine.

Having a great admiration to someone feels good but every good feeling, the pain multiplies inside me, causing me to break down.

'Si Lyn'

Nang marinig ko iyon ay parang nasiraan ako. Gusto kong umiyak pero hindi dapat dahil si Leo ay nasa aking harapan. I tried to hold it in but I can't do it any longer.

Base on my experience, admiring and loving him is one of the best thing I've done in my life because it made me happy. However, in return, pagkatapos ng ilang taon, I get nothing but the feeling of being one-sided.

Hindi ko masisisi si Leo sa nararamdaman kong sakit dahil wala naman siyang alam. At wala siyang alam dahil hindi ko sinabi sa kaniya na gusto ko siya.

So all along, ako lang ang nagbibigay sakit sa aking sarili.

I should expect this, but I'm so stupid for believing myself that I have a chance. That my feelings could be reciprocated when he entertained another woman for years now.

He is the cause of my happiness and cries. The cause of my motivation and downfall. The cause of pain and is also my cure.

I knew it all along that he loves Lyn. I thought that he changed and his shouts for someone else, but I was wrong. I assumed that but my predictions were wrong.

S**t, I'm so d*mn delusional.

Siya pa rin ang sinisigaw at ang tinitibok ang puso niya all along.

Alam ko naman na rejected na ako sa umpisa pa lang pero napakatanga ko. Napakatanga.

"A-ah..." Sinubukan kong hindi mautal pero hindi ako nagtagumpay. "A-anong oras pala magsimula ang party?" Tanong ko sa kaniya, iniba ang topic. I tried to smile like I wasn't affected.

Tiningnan niya ang kaniyang relo at lumingon sa akin pagkatapos. "Oh, it will be nig—" Natigilan siya nang may na-receive siyang text. Tinitingnan niya muna iyon bago lumingon pabalik sa akin. "Kailangan ko nang umalis, MJ. I-text ko lang sa'yo ang address ng apartment at ang oras ng party. Hinanap na'ko ni Jeiffer. He's now at my place kasama ang mga mates ko sa department, nagtutulungan sa pagset-up." Paliwanag niya.

"Ah. Kita kits na lang later." Sabi ko at kumaway sa kaniya.

Kumaway din siya at umalis.

***

"Kayo na lang ang pupunta dun." Walang ganang sabi ko.

"ANO?!" Nagulat si Luna at si Jheniyah sa sinabi ko. Alam naman nilang excited akong pumunta sa party niya ngunit nagtataka sila kung bakit bigla akong nagka-ganito. Hindi pa kasi nila alam ang nangyari.

"Akala ko excited ka, MJ. Inaya mo pa kaming samahan ka sa mall nung mga nakaraang araw para bumili ng regalo para sa kaniya, naghintay ka pa ng hatinggabi kanina dahil nais mong bumati sa kaniya and excited ka pang pumunta sa apartment niya tapos ngayon, ayaw mo nang pumunta?!" Sabi ni Luna. Halatang nainis siya sa akin ngayon dahil sa sinabi ko.