SCP AJR Au one shots

Guilt

Mirror timeline.
Ryan: Nova
Sherman: Me

Sherman was in his room laying on his bed staring at the ceiling. He couldn't get his team's screams out of his head. He felt like he could've done something... anything. He felt tears form in his eyes, he silently cried.

Ryan was grabbing a few things from the cafeteria, putting them into a little care package for sherman. He knew that Sherman never shared his feelings with the others, but.. honestly it would be worth some type of shot. He scribbled something on a note and added other notes that Jack and Adam had written, picking up the package with a little grunt and heading over to Sherman's room.

He quietly set the package down slipping a note under the door and rapping his knuckle gently against the door, staying silent. The note said 'hey, its Ryan. You don't have to talk to me, and i won't ask if you're okay, but Jack, adam and i made you a care package. If you want to let me in, you can, but if not, the box is outside your door. Love you dad. - Ry' Ryan then turned, walking away slowly.

Sherman sat up hearing a knock at his door, he wiped his tears and got up. He looked down and noticed the note, he had a internal battle on debating if he should let Ryan in..or not. He sighed..he hadn't seen the brothers in awhile, he opened the door, "Ry..?" He said in a hoarse voice. His eyes red from crying.

Ryan turned on his heel with a smile, stopping a little halfway down the hall. He came back, giving a small wave and a smile. He held up his hand, words scribbled in his hand. 'i'm not gonna talk, okay? Lips sealed.' before putting his hand back down. He was only gonna talk if sherman wanted to talk to him.

Sherman nodded, he opened up his door more and let Ryan in. He wiped more of his tears away, he then picked up the care package as Ryan walked in.

Ryan was in his comfy clothes today as he came in, taking out a little pack of animal crackers and looking to sherman with a little smile. He knew he was going through something, but he wasn't gonna point it out. He turned and set himself down on the couch, patting the seat gently next to him.

Sherman walked over to the couch and sat next to him on the couch, he looked in the care package, it was all of his favorite foods. He wanted to smile..but he couldn't find it in himself too. He looked to Ryan, "T..Thank you.." He said in a soft voice.

Ryan looked over, giving another little smile and signing 'i love you dad' before turning on the tv and playing the movie 'Elf' for the two to watch. He waved for sherman to come closer, opening his arms for a father-son cuddle hug.

Sherman teared up and signed back, 'I love you too son.' He moved closer to Ryan and accepted the invitation into Ryan's arms. He held onto Ryan tightly.

Ryan gently brushed his fingers through shermans hair like sherman always did with them to comfort them, humming 'you are my sunshine' under his breath. He wanted his dad to be okay, desperately, but the horrors of the foundation.. they always dig their claws into your mind and leave scars.

Sherman bit his lip trying to keep in a sob. He wanted to hum along with Ryan but he knew if he did, he would break down. He tried his best to pay attention to the movie but he could only think about his team's faces as they were killed. He held onto Ryan tighter.

Ryan felt the tighter hug, turning off the movie... And breaking his own rule. "...its okay to cry...." He said, his voice barely a whisper. He held sherman protectively, brushing his hair a little more.

That did it, Sherman broke. He started to sob into Ryan's chest, he almost screamed. He didn't know how long he sobbed for.

Ryan let sherman sob. He knew he needed it desperately, and he was slightly proud of himself for getting sherman to cry, but.. that wasn't the point right now. the point was that sherman is for sure deeply traumatized.. but Ryan wasn't sure how deep it went. He barely remembered how long sherman had been at the facility, let alone himself and his own brothers.

Sherman sobbed until he couldn't anymore. He took several deep breaths, "..I.. I'm sorry..." He said in a rough voice. He sat up and wiped his tears, it felt good to get everything out but he still felt something weighing on him.

"..why are you sorry..?" Ryan asked softly, tilting his head slightly. He had a big ass wet stain on his chest now, but he ignored it. Ryan kept the look of confusion, hoping it would help break shermans shell just a little bit more.

Sherman sighed, "I..I.." He knew he needed to talk but it was hard. "I..feel..guilt..so much guilt. I..can still hear my team's screams and I can..see their faces when they died.." He said in a rough tone. "I..sometimes wish it was me..who...died..so I didn't have to feel this..much guilt..they were all such..good people."

Ryan frowned and just hugged sherman tight. He didn't have any words... But... He had to try and suggest something... "...would... Would having a funeral for them.. help...?" He spoke softly, rubbing the others back gently. "..they fought to protect you... They fought to protect each other.... You lived to help them carry on their legacy.. but.. you don't have to carry that burden on your own..."

Sherman thought for a minute then nodded, "That...that might help." He didn't break the hug. He honestly felt..tired. He softly yawned, his body was exhausted from sobbing so hard.

"...go ahead and take a nap dad.. we'll figure it out over the next few days. And I'll be right here.." he spoke softly, grabbing the remote and playing the movie again at a lower volume.

Sherman nodded, "O..Okay.." His eyes slowly started to close and before he lost to sleep he said, "Thank you..."

"of course dad. I love you." Ryan replied, adjusting sherman so that his head was on a pillow on his side. "..sleep well."