Just Imagine...

Boy's Night

Sam's posture and expression as she entered Jack's office had him worried for a moment. She seemed tense, her stride brisk, her brow furrowed and her mouth just a thin line.
What now? Jack thought as Sam placed her hands down firmly on his desk and stared intently into his eyes. She blinked once, long eyelashes flicking, before cracking a grin.
"Hey Jacksie." She murmured.
"Mom?" Jack asked, "what's going on?"
"Oh nothing, I was just messing with you." Sam chuckled, straightening up, and Jack couldn't help but smile. Even with all the stress in the past few days, his renther was still up to their same old antics. 
"Are you here for something?" Jack inquired, rising from his chair and walking around his desk to stand next to Sam.
"Actually, yes," Sam said, becoming serious once again, "I had a thought earlier and I wanted to talk to you about it. We've... all been kinda stressed lately, especially after... y'know, what happened with Owen? And me... killing Aaron Copley?"
"It was the right thing to do." Jack said, trying to sound reassuring.
"Well, debatable," Sam sighed, slightly deflated, "but hey, Owen's still alive, right? That's good."
"Of course it is. But what's your point?"
"I just think that we - Owen in particular - need a break. We need to loosen up and have some fun to lighten the mood. Now, Gwen's going out on a date with Rhys tonight, and Tosh is busy working on that project with the Mayflies, that Martha has a strange obsession with and wants to watch. But as for the four of us... we're free for a long overdue night on the town."
"The four of us?"
"Yeah. You, me, Owen, and Ianto. The furious four, rampaging through Sa- Cardiff! Lock up your children and hide your spouses! ... I dunno why I said that, three out of four of us are taken."
"What?"
Sam and Jack turned to see Ianto in the doorway behind them.
"Taken?!? Who am I dating?!??" He demanded.
Sam stared at him like she was wondering if he could possibly be serious.
"Uh, DUH," she said, "Jacksie? Your boyfriend? Do you still think it's not obvious?"
"Pfft, your face!" Ianto laughed, pointing at her, "I was kidding! You are so gullible!"
"I see someone's trying to take my position as resident comedian." Sam mused, quirking an eyebrow at him in amusement as he snorted.
"No," Ianto murmured, wiping his face, "but I think you're right. The girls might be busy but that doesn't mean we can't have some fun. Plus... Owen has been acting strangely the past couple days. I think having such a close miss with death really bothered him more than he's telling us."
"All the more reason to take him out somewhere! C'mon Jacksie, we'll have great time!"
"I'm not saying no-" Jack began.
"PERFECT!" Sam exclaimed, "this is gonna be AWESOME!"
"Sam, why are you shouting?" Owen asked, sticking his head in the door, "I can hear you from the autopsy bay." 
"Owen!" Sam said gleefully, "we were just talking about you! Whaddya say the four of us take off and have some fun tonight? Cuz listen, I know you've been feeling a little down recently, and that's okay! We all have our lows. I had a big one when I was fifteen and that was... never mind."
"What Sam's trying to say - I think - is that we wanna cheer you up," Ianto put in, "take your mind off of... stressful things."
"I..." Owen stammered, a little taken aback, "I... really don't need it, but... okay. Thank you."
"YAY!" Sam shouted, grabbing Owen and Ianto in her arms and squeezing them both, "look out Cardiff, here we come!"
"I already regret this." Owen mumbled.

The bar the four of them ended up in was crowded, with flashing lights and thumping music. There were several women in the crowd dressed as angels, which didn't exactly make sense, but that didn't seem to matter - if this bar was shit, they'd go to another one.
"So whaddya think, pal?" Sam asked, leaning backwards on her barstool so she could face the people in the room with her elbows resting on the counter, "music, drinks, ladies," she winked at a couple of women in angel costumes nearby and they both giggled coyly.
"Sam, you're married." Ianto pointed out.
"I'm polyamorous," Sam drawled, grinning smugly, "and Jay and I both know you can buy a ticket and not go see the show."
"I don't even wanna know what that's a euphemism for." Ianto muttered.
"I'm just saying I can be friendly and flirty and charming and not take anybody home," Sam scoffed, "I can at least make somebody feel attractive, I do it to you guys all the time, doesn't mean I wanna have sex with ya."
"Sam that's not called making somebody feel attractive, I think you'd refer to it as 'jerking the rug out'."
"No!"
"Yes."
"No!!"
"Would you two quit arguing!" Jack cut in, "this is supposed to be a fun evening."
"We are having fun!" Sam protested, "we're debating."
"Ianto, I just want you to know that I haven't gone to anyone else's 'show'," Jack sighed, folding his arms over his chest, "let alone 'bought a ticket'."
"Aww," Ianto cooed, "well thank you, Jack. That's very sweet of you."
"Is it?"
"Yes."
They leaned in to kiss, and Sam was surprised when she didn't hear even a grumble from Owen. She glanced at him and saw he was staring at Jack and Ianto with an unreadable expression - or at least an expression that wasn't disgusted.
"You okay Owen?" Sam asked, waving her hand in front of his face, "you usually love yelling at these two for PDA." She pointed at Jack and Ianto with her thumb.
"Huh?" Owen asked, blinking, "oh, right. Yeah. Whatever."
He turned his head away, but Sam knew it was more so she couldn't see his face rather than so he couldn't see Jack and Ianto.
"Owen, c'mon," Sam laughed softly, reaching out to touch his shoulder, "loosen up a little. I'm sure all the girls in this place would love to get a taste of Owen Harper - probably the boys too."
"Just shut up, Sam," Owen muttered, shrugging her off, "I'm going to take a piss."
He walked away from them without even looking back, and Sam watched him go, stunned.
"Was it somethin' I said?" She asked Jack and Ianto, "does Owen not like girls anymore? Not that it'd matter but-"
"Hey sexy."
Sam cut off as one of the women in angel costumes approached her.
"Who? Moi?" Sam asked teasingly, raising an eyebrow.
"Who else?" The woman giggled, "I really love that accent of yours. Where are you from?"
"Oh, lots of places," Sam chuckled, "my religion says I came from the Heart of the Universe, my Abuela says I came from Colombia, intuition says I came from Saint Lucia, and my mother says I came from her."
The woman laughed musically.
"You're funny," she mused, "I'm Pearl, by the way."
"Sam." Sam murmured, offering her hand.
The woman took one look, probably spotted Sam's engagement ring, rolled her eyes with a scoff, and walked away.
"See?" Ianto said, poking Sam in the shoulder, "they don't like that."
"What?" Sam demanded, "I offered a handshake as a signal that this interaction is purely an acquaintanceship, nothing more. If she didn't like it, it's not my fault, I was just being my regular charming self, intending no harm."
"But do you see how you might give people the wrong idea?" Ianto pressed.
"Wait a minute," Jack interrupted, "Ianto, take a look at all the women in angel costumes in this bar."
"What about them?" Ianto asked, "they're all young, pretty, brunette, curly hair... oh... wait..."
"What?" Sam asked, put on edge by his tone of voice.
"Look at them, Sam," Ianto murmured, "they're all the same. They're clones."
"Not quite," Jack corrected, "they're disguised, and probably wearing perception filters. Although they're not hiding very well, they look like the largest set of identical twins on the planet."
"They wouldn't be called twins," Ianto said, "more like decaplets."
"You know how many there are?" Sam asked.
"I counted them when we came in," Ianto said, "there's ten."
"No, there's nine." Jack murmured.
"I wouldn't count wrong, there's ten."
"Then why am I seeing nine?"
"Because you need your eyes checked? I don't know!"
"Ianto, there is nine," Sam put in, scanning the crowd, "and if you counted ten when we first came in, that means one of them is missing."
"Or you counted wrong." Jack muttered.
"I did not." Ianto insisted.
"What are you arguing about now?" Owen sighed as he returned from the bathroom, signalling to the bartender for another drink. 
"Owen, how many women in angel costumes do you see?" Ianto asked, "nine or ten?"
"There's nine, let it go." Jack replied.
"I wasn't talking to you." Ianto hissed.
"WOULD YOU TWO SHUT UP ABOUT HOW MANY THERE ARE!" Sam cut in, "if Ianto saw ten when we first came in and there's nine now then that means one of them is missing."
"You trust his judgement over mine?" Jack demanded.
"Jacksie, you're my son and I love you very very much," Sam said, "of course I trust Ianto's judgment over yours. Our brains work the exact same way and I know I can't trust my own judgment."
Ianto smirked at Jack, who scowled and pouted in response.
"Why do we need to count the angels?" Owen sighed, finishing off another beer.
"Jack thinks they're clones wearing perception filters," Sam explained, "which means they're very likely not human."
"Worse, actually," Jack murmured, "I think they're Sahen. And if they're here that means bad news."
The bar suddenly went deathly quiet, everyone around them freezing in place.
"Oh great," Sam said sarcastically, "they can manipulate their environment too. How fun."
The Sahen began slowly making their way towards the four of them, like a pride of lions stalking their prey, their eyes glowing white and their wings suddenly unfurling - the costumes were part of their bodies, and now it was obvious that they were all identical.
"What are they doing?" Ianto asked anxiously.
"They've slowed down time for everyone except them and us," Jack explained, "they want us."
"What for?" Owen pressed.
"I don't know." Jack admitted.
"Looks like a job for Torchwood's Interplanetary Ambassador!" Sam exclaimed, jumping to her feet.
"Umm... I thought you were the interplanetary negotiator?" Ianto asked.
"Yeah, but 'ambassador' sounds cooler." Sam replied with a grin and a shrug. Then her expression hardened as one of the Sahen walked right up to her.
"Interplanetary Ambassador..." she hissed in unison with all the others, "then it is you we wish to speak with."
"Why are you on Earth?" Sam asked evenly, "do you intend to harm the people of this planet?"
"Are you asking if we come in peace?" The Sahen cackled, still in unison, "how quaint."
"Well?" Sam prompted, clenching her fists, "do you or do you not intend to harm my people?"
"That depends on your willingness to cooperate," the Sahen replied, "we have already sent one of ours back to the ship to retrieve our object of interest. Are you willing to hand it over?"
"Depends on what it is." Sam said evenly.
"I told you there were ten." Ianto whispered to Jack. Sam silenced them by raising her hand.
"Ahh... we see that you are in control." The Sahen murmured.
"Am I the only one who bloody hates that they keep talking all together like that?" Owen hissed.
"What do you want?" Sam said.
"A valuable source of energy for our people," the Sahen answered, "we need it to power our starships and access our own abilities. It is absolutely vital to the survival of our species."
"And what is it?"
"Rift Energy. The power of the Rift running through this city is unfathomable, and it tastes so sweet. Would you be willing to let us mine your Rift for its power?"
"That could open it."
"Yes. Unfortunately that is a risk we must take. But it will not affect us whatsoever."
"Uh, yeah, but it could also kill everyone on this planet. You think I'm gonna let that happen? I may not be Torchwood's leader, but I sure as hell am gonna keep the peace between planets, and part of that is making sure Earth doesn't get destroyed. No. We're not letting you open our Rift for your own gain."
Sam glanced briefly at Jack, just to make sure she'd done the right thing. Jack gave her a small, proud nod.
"Fine," the Sahen growled, "have it your way, Interplanetary Ambassador."
The Sahen in front of Sam raised her arm, her fingernails becoming long, sharp claws, which she raked across Sam's face. Sam cried out in pain, blood welling from the cuts, before a look of determination came over her face and she leaped on the Sahen. Jack, Ianto, and Owen immediately joined the fight, despite being hopelessly outnumbered and unarmed.
Sam leaped onto the counter, luring a few of the Sahen after her and using the wine glasses hanging overhead to her advantage by throwing them in the faces of her alien attackers.
"How d'ya like the taste of that?" She taunted.
Meanwhile, Ianto was using the same tactic, smashing a half-empty beer bottle over the head of a Sahen and kicking another one in the stomach. He huffed a laugh, feeling a spark of triumph.
"IANTO, LOOK OUT!" Jack shouted, pushing Ianto out of the way and punching one of the Sahen that was creeping up behind him in the jaw.
"Thanks." Ianto panted.
"A little help here?" Owen called from across the bar.
"I GOTCHA!" Sam shouted, leaping in and turning over a table onto the three Sahen cornering him. There was a snap as one of the aliens' spines was broken, and the eight remaining Sahen all screeched in rage and agony, so loudly Sam, Owen, Jack, and Ianto had to cover their ears.
Suddenly the bar came back to life, though the chatter abruptly stopped as the fighting continued. People fled the bar, screaming. Sirens blared outside as a trio of squad cars pulled up.
"Fuck." Owen muttered under his breath.
Most of the Sahen were fleeing as well, except for one, who had reverted back to looking human and was sobbing hysterically.
To the police constables rushing in the door it looked like the four Torchwood agents were standing over the body of a dead woman while her distraught sister begged for help.
The four of them were arrested in a heartbeat.