Just Imagine...

Prides, Not Packs

Sam burst into the back of the ambulance with a small bundle wrapped up in her sweater.
"Jack!" She exclaimed, "Ianto! Are they okay?"
"They're fine, Sam," Owen muttered, "at least I think so, we can't find Ianto. But just calm down. What are you doing here anyway?"
"Jay and I were here with the kids and then Tosh called me and told me what happened," Sam said, still looking worried, "what do you mean you can't find Ianto?"
"I mean no one's found him," Owen sighed, "nor a body. Maybe he ran off-"
"You know Ianto wouldn't do that." Sam cut in, looking like a thundercloud.
"I know," Owen hissed, leaning closer to her so Jack didn't overhear, "I'm just trying to keep your son from having a panic attack. The last thing he needs right now is more stress."
Sam closed her eyes and took a deep breath.
"Tell me what happened." She murmured steadily.
"I almost lost a leg." Jack piped up.
"You'll be fine," Owen scoffed, "you're already healing, which means we have to get you out of here before the paramedics notice. And there's also this."
Owen lifted a sheet off of the body of a man Sam didn't recognize. Well, part of a body. At first Sam thought the lower half of his body was missing, torn off, but then she realized it was still there, just... invisible somehow.
"What the hell...?" She murmured, taking a few steps closer.
"We don't know." Owen replied. Sam reached out and touched the air where the man's leg should've been, and she could feel his pant leg. She jerked her hand back.
"That is messed up." She muttered.
"What's in your arms?" Jack asked as the little bundle Sam was holding wiggled and let out a squeak.
"Oh... I... kinda sorta... stole a lion cub." Sam said, scratching the back of her neck.
"WHAT?!" Jack and Owen demanded in unison.
"I had to!" Sam exclaimed in protest, "that three-headed dragon creature went after the lions after it killed the tiger! When I got here I saw every single lion slaughtered. Except for this little one." She unfolded her sweater from the bundle and a tiny, fuzzy, brown head peeked out, blinking large black eyes at Jack and Owen.
"Aww!" Jack said, eyes shining.
"Seriously, Sam?" Owen sighed, "you can't keep a lion cub."
"No one else is gonna take care of him!" Sam argued, "and he doesn't have anyone else to take care of him anyway! His family is dead, and I doubt the people here know how to look after a two week old cub."
"Bleeding heart." Owen muttered under his breath, rolling his eyes. Sam scowled, hugging the cub closer to her chest.
"He wants to stay with me." She said firmly.
"Oh yes, I forgot," Owen murmured sarcastically, "you can talk to animals."
"Uh, yeah, I can," Sam snapped, "and maybe if I'd gotten here earlier, none of this would've happened!"
"Okay," Jack cut in, "no arguing."
"Next thing you'll have a whole pack of lions in the hub." Owen muttered.
"Owen." Jack said warningly.
"Pride." Sam murmured.
"What?" Owen demanded.
"A pride of lions, not a pack. Honestly, Owen, do you know nothing about the non-human inhabitants of this planet?"
"I know you, don't I?"
"What's that supposed to mean?!"
"I think you know what it means."
"ENOUGH!" Jack shouted, "stop it, both of you! We need to get out of here right now and find Ianto!" He tried to swing his legs off the gurney, yelling in pain as his half-mangled leg twisted beneath him.
"Jack, don't!" Sam exclaimed, rushing to his side, "you can't help Ianto if you lose your leg completely! We'll have to get you out some other way..." she glanced around the ambulance.
"Wheelchair?" Owen suggested, pointing at the folded wheelchair leaned against the wall.
"Sure." Sam said, tying the sleeves of her sweater around her neck, creating a makeshift baby-carrier for the lion cub. Owen gave her a look, but thankfully didn't say anything.

"I shall name you Peanut," Sam declared, raising the lion cub over her head, "and you shall be mine, and I will raise you in the wide open fields of... Wales. I wish I could show you Saint Lucia."
"Well thanks, Sam," Ianto's disembodied voice said sarcastically from across the boardroom table, "glad to know you love this country so much."
"I never said I didn't!" Sam protested, "I'm just saying a warmer climate would be much better for Peanut!"
"Who names a lion 'Peanut' anyway?"
"I do! Shouldn't you be trying to become visible again or whatever???"
"Not unless you want to see me naked."
"WHAT THE FUCK, IANTO?"
The sound of Ianto's laughter filled the room and Sam glared at the chair she thought it was coming from. Then she smirked.
"I bet Jack would be happy to see you naked." She teased.
A pencil lifted off the table and hurtled itself at Sam's head. Sam screeched and ducked out of the way.
"Don't do that!" She exclaimed, "that's creepy!"
Ianto chuckled eerily as Gwen and Tosh entered the boardroom, discussing what had happened at the mall earlier - Weevils appearing while Gwen picked out a wedding dress? Sam almost wished she'd been there to witness that. However, as soon as Gwen caught sight of Peanut, she stopped dead in her tracks and gasped, pointing at the tiny cub.
"WHAT. IS. THAT?" She demanded, eyes wide with awe.
"A lion cub," Sam answered, "that thing at the zoo killed his parents, so I broke into the enclosure and stole him."
"You're completely mad." Tosh murmured in disbelief.
"Well I couldn't just leave him there!" Sam retorted, "I mean look at his little face!" She held Peanut up to them and the tiny cub let out a squeal.
"He's so fluffy!" Gwen gasped, whole face lit up.
"Wanna hold him?" Sam asked, smiling.
"Oh, I dunno-" Gwen began, taking half a step back.
"Just hold him." Sam insisted, standing up and placing Peanut in her arms. Gwen's eyes shone as he wiggled around and flapped his tiny paws in the air.
"This is the greatest day of my life." She said with the most sincerity Sam had ever heard in her voice - which was really saying something, Gwen was always sincere. Sam chuckled.
"What's his name?" Tosh asked.
"Peanut," Ianto answered, causing Tosh and Gwen to jump and look in the direction his voice had come from - which was just an empty space in the room, "don't ask why, it was Sam's choice - obviously."
"Hey!" Sam exclaimed, "says the man who went to the zoo for a date!"
"That's still less stupid than naming one of the world's most dangerous animals Peanut."
"Cut me some slack, will ya? He's just a baby!"
"Well I like it." Gwen spoke up, and Sam smiled at her.
"Don't encourage her, Gwen." Ianto sighed. Even though he was still invisible, they all knew he was rolling his eyes.

"How are you feeling?" Sam asked Ianto when they had all returned to the hub. She was still carrying Peanut around and the little lion cub had fallen asleep in her arms, letting out squeaky snores.
"Awful," Ianto groaned, sitting next to her on the hub's old couch, "I'm cold, I'm tired, I'm hungry, my feet hurt, and I'm humiliated by the fact that I was naked in front of a group of strangers." Sam stifled a laugh and he glared at her.
"I'm sorry," she coughed, "I was just thinking... you certainly were a sight for sore eyes!" She laughed at her own joke. Ianto stayed silent.
"You finished?" He asked dryly. Sam cleared her throat.
"Yeah, sorry." She muttered quickly. Ianto's body sagged.
"I'm so hungry," he complained, "and cold." Sam chewed her lip thoughtfully.
"Tell ya what," she murmured, suddenly putting a hand on his shoulder, "how about I round up Jack, Gwen, and Tosh - I'd get Owen too but he probably wouldn't help much - and we all give you like a spa treatment or something."
"No!" Ianto objected quickly, "I don't want pampering-"
"I don't think it's a matter of want, honey," Sam interrupted him, "it's a matter of need. Wait here."
She was gone before Ianto could argue anymore.
Fifteen minutes later, it was almost like Ianto had died and gone to heaven. Sam had insisted he change into the fluffy bathrobe she kept at the hub (for some reason) and lie down on the couch again. Sam was sitting behind him, massaging his shoulders and feeding him grapes, plantain chips, and crackers with cheese and peanut butter on them. He'd taken his shoes and socks off and now Jack was rubbing his sore, cold feet. Gwen and Tosh were working on his fingernails, Gwen still filing while Tosh was already painting them with dark purple nail polish. Peanut was asleep on his chest, still letting out sweet little snores.
"How ya feelin' now?" Sam asked, dropping another grape into Ianto's mouth.
"Wonderful." Ianto sighed.
That was when Owen appeared from the autopsy bay and stared at them all.
"Bloody hell." He muttered after a moment, then continued across the hub to his desk.
"Hey Mom," Jack spoke up, "toss me a grape."
"I gotcha." Sam responded, and Ianto watched with repressed laughter as a single grape sailed above him, hit Jack in between the eyes, bounced off, and landed on Peanut. The cub woke up with an indignant squeak. "Oh, Peanut, I'm sorry!" Sam exclaimed, chuckling. Peanut made a high-pitched growl in response and tucked his nose under his paws.
Ianto just smiled, closing his eyes. Whatever he'd done to end up with this crazy bunch, he'd live with.