Just Imagine...

The Talk

"I feel weird." Owen groaned into the pillow he had pressed against his face. He was in Sam's living room, sitting on the couch, the balcony doors open so the cool sea breeze blew in on him, carrying the sound of the others splashing and laughing in the pool below.
"Yeah?" Sam asked on the opposite side of the room. She was already wearing her swim suit but had stopped when she saw Owen looking so disgruntled on the couch. "Probably all the pie you and Jack ate the other day. Seriously, what were you thinkin'?"
"No, it's not that kind of weird," Owen sighed, leaning back on the couch, "I don't feel sick, I just feel... I don't know."
Sam came to stand at the end of the couch, sitting on the arm and looking at him encouragingly, silently asking him if he was willing and ready to speak his mind.
"I've felt it ever since I almost died," Owen began, "y'know, the Pharm?"
Sam nodded, blinking slowly, "I remember."
"Well maybe it was before that," Owen admitted, "but my point is, after that happened Tosh and I... had a bit of a falling out. And I felt bad about that, so I talked to her, and opened up a little more than I wanted to without thinking about it and... there's this weird feeling inside of me, and it's been getting stronger ever since then. Especially with Tosh and I going out on dates, and when she got shot and I saved her, and then when we were in the warehouse in London and the Thames House was being evacuated so I was going to help and she told me she loved me and I said I loved her back without thinking and-"
"Owen!" Sam interrupted, "calm down, for Misaaki's sake. You're gonna get that joke in a minute. Anyway. Tell me more."
"Not like it's any of your business," Owen muttered, "but fine. Last night, I had this really weird dream. Actually, no, it was the pie, forget I said anything-"
"No!" Sam protested, "Owen, tell me what the dream was about!"
Owen glared at her for a moment, considering just getting up and making a run for it, back to his bedroom where he could lock the door. But it was likely Sam had a key. It was her house after all. Owen sighed.
"I dreamt that Tosh and I were married," he said quietly, "living in our own house. And we had kids too. It was so weird, and so... nice. I-I liked it, but at the same time I didn't want it, because I know it's not possible."
"Anything is possible, Owen." Sam murmured.
"Not this."
"What makes you say that?"
"Don't be stupid, Sam! Look at me, then look at Tosh; she deserves someone kind and gentle and romantic! So not me!"
"That's so not true! And even if it was, Tosh doesn't want someone different than you! Believe it or not, if it's even possible for you to comprehend this, Tosh only wants you! And it's always gonna be that way, Owen! Besides, from what I've seen of you, you can be kind. You can be gentle. You can be romantic, even, when you really try."
Owen and Sam stared at each other for a long time, a mix of emotions that were beyond understandable settling in Owen's chest.
"How did that dream make you feel?" Sam asked finally in a quiet voice.
"Weird," Owen said, "but not... bad. I can't really remember ever feeling this way before. Except maybe with Katie."
Sam raised an eyebrow at that point and Owen scowled.
"And what is that face for?" He demanded.
"Oh, nothing," Sam said, holding her hands up, "I just think it's interesting that you'd compare Katie, the woman you were engaged to, to Tosh, the woman you just had a dream about marrying and having a family with."
"So what?" Owen asked, "are you saying I'm in love with Tosh?"
"Uh, DUH!" Sam exclaimed, standing up, "did ya JUST figure that out?? Wait, hold on, now I can explain my joke; Misaaki is the Spirit of Love and Affection-"
"SHUT UP," Owen cut in before she could go on, "I don't care about your joke, go back to what you said before that; what do you mean 'did I just figure it out'? When did you figure it out??"
"That Christmas when you kissed her in front of the Millennium Centre."
"THAT WAS SIX YEARS AGO!"
"Yeah, and I saw the look on your face after she kissed you; all shy and embarrassed, your cheeks and nose turning red from more than just the cold. You were completely starstruck, darling, and you didn't even realize, did you?"
"Ianto said you were nice when he talked to you about this stuff."
Sam blinked.
"I don't know what to say to that." She murmured.
"Just go ahead and call me an idiot like you want to." Owen grumbled.
"I wasn't gonna call y- ... okay, maybe I was," Sam said, "my point is, there is nothing stopping you from letting yourself love Tosh the way you want to now. And I can see you feel like you deserve this, you're just scared. And Owen, lemme tell you, there ain't nothin' wrong with that. Nothin'."
"Really?" Owen asked quietly. Sam nodded.
"You think I wasn't scared when I realized I was in love with Jay? I was terrified! But I just took a deep breath and pushed it all aside, because I wasn't gonna let fear get in the way of my happiness. Owen, you can't let fear get in the way of your happiness. You've already let it for so long, you didn't even realize what you wanted so desperately because you allowed negative emotions to bury those positive ones deep inside you where you couldn't find them. But you don't have to do that anymore. You've more than made up for all the bad decisions you've made. It's okay. There's no better place to fall in love than here, at Harmony Palace. So... why don't you give it a shot, pal?"
Owen stared at Sam without saying a word, then smiled.
"Okay," he murmured, "I think I will. I'm ready."