Just Imagine...

Remember

Ianto had been having nightmares for weeks now. Most nights he woke up screaming and crying and Jack would have to hold onto him for a long time before he calmed down. Jack was getting concerned about these dreams, where Ianto claimed to have vivid imaginings of strangling young women. He wasn't worried that Ianto would ever do that; he was worried about the impact it was having on his husband. He was so stressed all the time and obviously wasn't getting enough sleep. He had dark circles under his eyes and every little sound made him flinch. Not at the moment, however. Right now Ianto was having a nap on the hub's couch, though it didn't seem like he was having a restful sleep. Jack was sitting next to him, watching as his face twisted into expressions of anguish and his limbs twitched and tensed.
"Is he okay?" Gwen asked softly, standing behind Jack. That was when Ianto awoke and sat bolt upright.
"Jack!" He wailed.
"It's okay Ianto, I'm here!" Jack exclaimed, hugging him.
"I can't stand it!" Ianto sobbed, "why won't these dreams leave me alone? Why do I keep having them??"
"I don't know," Jack replied, "but I'm gonna do whatever it takes to figure this out."
"Another nightmare?" Sam asked, coming to stand by Gwen.
"Yeah." Jack murmured.
"Oh honey," Sam sighed, patting Ianto's shoulder, "I wish I could say some magic words and make this all go away, but I can't change what happened, I can't-"
"'What happened'?" Jack echoed, cutting her off, "what do you mean 'what happened'?"
Sam made a face as if she'd just realized she'd said something she wasn't supposed to, then shook herself and put on a fake smile.
"N-nothing," she stuttered, "it's not important. Never mind. Forget I said anything."
"No, Sam, what did you mean?" Gwen pressed.
"I meant nothing," Sam insisted, "I made a mistake. Y'know how you remember things you think happened but then you think about it some more and you realize you just imagined it?" She clearly didn't believe her own words, and Jack didn't either.
"Mom," he began sternly.
"I have work to do." Sam said before he could continue, then swiftly walked away, every muscle in her body stiff with self-loathing.
"Jack," Ianto murmured.
"Don't worry, I'll talk to her," Jack promised him, "she's hiding something, and I'm gonna find out what so we can fix this."
He stood up and followed his mother up the stairs. He found her in the boardroom, palms pressed into the table, a grimace on her face as she hissed curses to herself.
"Stupid, stupid, stupid!"
"Mom." Jack said again, and Sam looked up.
"No, Jack. Please," she said, "I don't wanna talk about it."
"So you do know something about Ianto's nightmares!" Jack exclaimed accusingly.
"I might."
"Mom, I wanna help him! Why are you lying to us?"
"Don't you get it? I wanna help Ianto too! But..." Sam's eyes suddenly filled with tears, "I p-promised I wouldn't say anything about it."
"Promised who?" Jack demanded.
"YOU!" Sam exclaimed, "you, Jack! You made me promise to never speak of him again! And I agreed, for your safety!"
"Hold on, 'him'?"
"Jacksie, please. I've already said too much."
"But what about Ianto? Mom, if you know something, you have to tell us! His nightmares are getting worse, I don't know how much longer he can take this!"
"I don't think the truth would help him!"
"Well we have to try! We can't just do nothing! I love him and I hate seeing him suffer like this!"
Sam stared at Jack for a long time, tears still pooling in the corners of her eyes. Then she nodded.
"I hate seeing him suffer too," she agreed quietly, "just... prepare yourself. I can't believe I'm betraying you like this, but... whatever. By The Spirits, I hope this doesn't come back to bite me in the ass."
And so Sam began her story, the story of Adam Smith, who had come into their lives and manipulated their memories so they believed he'd been part of the Torchwood team for years. How he'd made Ianto think he was a murderer - likely the cause of his current nightmares. How the whole team had taken retcon to kill Adam, to forget him.
"But-" Jack said at that point in the story.
"Retcon doesn't work on me," Sam sighed, "so I did what I had to do; I fought off those memories. I held onto the thought of Jay, my childhood friends, you and your siblings, the rest of the team... I defeated Adam, for you. But I guess it wasn't enough. The memory of him is still haunting Ianto."
"You..." Jack murmured, "you held onto that secret all this time?"
"WELL I HAD TO PROTECT YOU, DIDN'T I?!" Sam snapped, tears flooding down her cheeks, "remembering Adam could've brought him back, it still might! I know he wasn't real but who knows how his verminous species works? Just me saying his name to you could conjure him up! It might already be too late!"
"Mom," Jack croaked, "I... thank you."
"Wha?"
"Thank you for keeping the secret. Thank you for saving us. Thank you... for listening to me."
"I didn't do it to follow orders, I did it to keep you safe!"
"But you did it. For so long. Living in fear that the rest of us would remember and you'd have to go through it all again, alone."
Sam smiled tearfully.
"I wasn't alone, Jack," she said, "I had your Dada. He'd never encountered Adam so I figured it was safe to tell him. Apparently I had mentioned Adam to him before and it confused him a lot, since I'd said he'd been on the team for five years and yet he'd never met him." She laughed, and Jack did too.
"So what now?" Jack asked.
"I don't know," Sam murmured, shaking her head sadly, "I just... don't. Adam could be looking for us as we speak to try and get inside our heads again."
"We'll just have to be careful," Jack said, "do you think telling Ianto all of this would help?"
"It might."
"Should we?"
"Well you pried the truth outta me, better put it to good use while we still can."
"Mom. Don't say that."
"You think I wanted to?"
Ianto was still on the couch when Sam and Jack returned, Gwen and Tosh on either side of him and doing their best to comfort him.
"What's going on?" Gwen asked when she saw the looks on Sam and Jack's faces.
"You wanna tell them?" Jack said to Sam.
"Might as well," Sam sighed, voice shaking, "I've already spilled the beans once, how could it possibly get any worse?"
And so Sam recounted everything about Adam again.
"He got inside your mind, Ianto," she murmured seriously, taking his hands in hers and looking him in the eyes, "he made you think you were a murderer - but you aren't! The nightmares you've been having are just that; nightmares. False memories. Wild imaginings. They. Didn't. Happen. And they never will. Understand?"
"That won't make them go away." Ianto whimpered.
"I think it might," Owen spoke up behind them, causing them all to turn and look at him, "now that you know the cause of these nightmares, your mind is at ease. You know it's not some part of you that's gone dark and wants to kill people. Though you definitely could. I think you'll sleep easier from now on."
The others stared at him in confusion.
"That sounded..." Tosh began.
"Intelligent?" Sam filled in with an amused huff.
"I was going to say like a psychiatrist." Tosh murmured dryly.
"Okay. That too." Sam shrugged.
"I've been having lunch with Andres," Owen muttered, "sorry Tosh, I've been cheating." He added teasingly. Tosh tried to squash a smile.
"That would explain the twinkle in your eye and the spring in your step." Sam murmured sarcastically, raising an eyebrow. Ianto, who had his head in his lap with his hands over his face, started shaking.
"Ianto?" Jack asked, reaching out to him, "what's the matter? Are you-?" He broke off as Ianto leaned back with a huge grin on his face. He wasn't crying - he was laughing, so hard he started snorting.
"Jack, I think he just snapped." Owen murmured, looking concerned as Ianto kept laughing harder and harder.
"Ianto, what's so funny?" Gwen asked nervously.
"I don't know!" Ianto gasped helplessly, "I just can't stop laughing!" He let out another snort.
"You're relieved." Sam said softly. Ianto nodded, wiping away tears as he finally started to get his breathing back under control.
"Yeah, really." He panted with a little chuckle. "And grateful. Grateful you kept us safe and kept the secret and that you told us when we needed you to. Thank you, Sam. You're a wonderful person and a perfect friend." Sam recoiled slightly in shock.
"I-I-I..." she stammered, tears springing to her eyes, "I mean... you're welcome. I would've done it no matter what, I'm just... so glad I could finally get it off my chest. It was hard keepin' all that from yas."
"Well it's okay now," Gwen murmured, "looks like Adam's gone for good."
Sam nodded in agreement as the tears fell. Ianto, Gwen, and Tosh all sprung to hug her and she leaned into them, sobbing quietly. Jack put his arms around them all, sniffling as his own eyes filled with tears. Owen stood back awkwardly for a moment, then slowly edged closer and rested his hand on Sam's shoulder. Her hand came up to rest on top of his, and for once Owen didn't pull away.
The six of them stayed like that for a while, remembering. But Adam didn't come back.
He never would.