Just Imagine...

WHERE, with WHO?!

The line to the women's bathroom was too long.
It wasn't like Sam was in a desperate hurry, but she wasn't waiting at the end of a line of girls in their twenties who were falling-down drunk when there was no one in the men's bathroom - or at least that's what she'd thought.
Besides, it wasn't like it mattered. When there were no gender-neutral options, Sam usually went with whichever washroom had the shorter line. The goal was to get in and out as fast as possible, so she didn't have to think about how disgusting public bathrooms were.
However, that particular evening, the idea of just how "nasty" communal toilets were got a whole new meaning to Sam.
At first she'd been sure that the quiet shuffling from the stall next door was just somebody else minding their own business - pun fully intended - but as she quietly locked the stall door (trying her best to ignore that gut-churningly characteristic men's-bathroom-smell of piss-soaked toilet paper - still better than the women's bathroom stench of migraine-inducing over-sprayed perfume, though), she was shocked to hear a loud moan from the other side of the thin wall.
Sam rolled her eyes so far back into her head for a minute it seemed like they might get stuck in there. So this was why no one was in line for this bathroom.
"Listen, man," she muttered as a few more undoubtedly sexual vocalizations peeled out of the stall and she realized there were two sets of feet visible under the divider, "I'm glad you're havin' a good time in there but can you keep it down until I'm gone? I just gotta piss and then you can be as loud as you want."
Although I don't know why you'd want to have sex in a place as filthy as a public restroom, she added internally, you're practically BEGGING for STI's.
A rather mortified silence descended over the bathroom for a moment, before Sam got an even bigger surprise when one of the two people next to her spoke.
"... Sam?" Said an all-too-familiar voice.
Sam's jaw nearly hit the floor (the scummy, disgusting, alcohol-and-probably-vomit-stained floor).
"TOSH?!" She demanded, resisting the urge to jump onto the back of the toilet and peer over the stall divider to try and see her friend, "goddamn, girl, who the fuck do you have in there?!"
There was a short pause.
"Hey, Sam..." Owen's voice reluctantly responded.
Curiosity got the better of Sam and she leaped up to look over the divider.
"Oh bloody hell, don't LOOK!" Owen exclaimed, frantically fumbling with his boxers.
"Sorry!" Sam exclaimed, leaning back as she realized just how much of a fucking mistake that was, "I'm just surprised, is all. I never thought you two... well I definitely thought you would, Owen. But Tosh? In a public bathroom?!"
"I know, I know," Tosh sighed, sounding humiliated, "it's indecent-"
"No, it's just unhealthy!" Sam cut her off, "you're both gonna shower after this, right? Please tell me you are. With a bottle of bleach."
"That's what you care about?" Owen demanded.
"Do the two of you not care?!" Sam shot back, "you may as well lick the fucking urinals if you're gonna do that in here!"
"Keep your voice down!" Tosh hissed.
"Oh please, between the screaming drunken girls in line for the other bathroom and the music out there nobody's gonna hear a damn thing - not even you, Owen."
Another silence, in which Sam could practically hear Owen's face turning red. A smirk spread across her face.
"So... what led to this anyway?" She asked.
"Not like it's any of your business, but we had a bet." Owen muttered.
"Jesus, who won?" Sam cackled.
"By the looks of things, I'd say I did." Tosh replied confidently, and even Sam felt her breath catch in her throat for a moment at her purring tone.
"Welp..." she muttered, "I'll... let you two figure all that out, and we can just pretend this never happened, m'kay?"
"Fine by us." Owen mumbled.
Sam unlocked the stall door and walked straight for the exit to the washroom, before pausing with her hand hovering over the knob (and not just because she was stalling on having to touch the probably-slimy-for-some-reason-best-left-undiscovered handle).
"Until twenty years or so later when I get to embarrass you in front of your kids!" She exclaimed in a rush before leaping out the door and slamming it closed behind her, just managing to keep from collapsing in hysterics until she was back in her car, already a bit too eager to tell Jay everything.