Just Imagine...

Tosh Opens her Heart (And so Does Owen)

Tosh was already at the hospital when Sam arrived to visit Owen. He was sleeping, and Tosh was standing over him, watching the gentle rise and fall of his chest.
"Is this the scene in the horror movie where we find out you're a murderer and you suddenly unplug his life support?" Sam asked, swaggering up to her side.
"He's not plugged in to life support." Tosh murmured, sounding a little uptight. Sam put her arm around her shoulders and glanced at her expression. She looked deeply worried, mouth set in a straight line and her brows furrowed. Sam then looked to Owen. He looked so fragile in his sleep, the bruises and cuts stark against his pale skin.
"So how long have you had feelings for him?" Sam asked softly. Tosh tensed.
"I don't know what you're talking about." She said quickly.
"Oh, Tosh, c'mon," Sam chuckled, bumping her body against hers, "it's kinda obvious. At least to me."
"Just because you've suddenly decided to stop being the office jerk doesn't mean I'm just going to open up to you!" Tosh snapped.
Sam winced and backed up a little, stung, and Tosh dropped her gaze.
"Sorry." She muttered softly.
"No," Sam said, teeth gritted in self-loathing, "I am."
They stood over Owen in silence for a long time.
"Whaddya think Jack and Ianto are doin' with those grapes?" Sam asked with a small, hollow laugh.
"Since I joined Torchwood." Tosh said.
Sam frowned at her.
"I... what?" She demanded.
"You were asking how long I've been pining after Owen."
"Oh... really? Since you joined? Hasn't that been like, five years-?"
"YES SAM IT'S BEEN FIVE YEARS!" Tosh exclaimed angrily.
"Okay, calm," Sam murmured, "I just... that's a long time to... hide that."
There was another short silence.
"So, you've got a crush on him?" Sam asked. Tosh sighed in frustration.
"YES, Sam." She said.
Sam pumped her fist to herself, then seemed to remember Tosh was still there.
"Are you serious?" She demanded.
"I- I'm sorry," Sam muttered, "got carried away. Sorry."
"You are unbelievable."
"I said I was sorry! I just think you and Owen would be great together."
Tosh felt herself blushing and turned her head away.
"Well it doesn't matter if we'd be great together," she muttered, "he doesn't notice me."
Sam made a sound reminiscent of a quiet growl in her throat.
"What was that noise for?" Tosh demanded.
"Nothing," Sam replied, "I'm just wondering how long you're gonna sing that song and do nothin' about it."
"The only reason I'm singing this song in the first place is because I tried to get Owen to notice me or even remotely like me, and he doesn't care!"
"Is that really what you think?"
"Well it's obvious! The minute a prettier woman from the twentieth century shows up he forgets all about me! And when she leaves after a few days he throws himself into the jaws of a Weevil! If I left, do you think he'd do that?"
Sam raised an eyebrow.
"Would you want him to?" She asked, sounding slightly nervous. Tosh sighed in frustration.
"Just forget about it," she murmured, "I just have to face the fact that Owen doesn't care about me the way I care about him, and he never will."
There was a moment of silence and Tosh looked at Sam, who was staring at her with an unreadable expression.
"What?" She asked, annoyed.
"Tosh, do you remember kissing Owen on New Years?" Sam prompted.
"Of course I remember," Tosh muttered, "before Mary it's the last time I kissed someone."
"Yeah, but did you see the look on his face afterwards?"
"No, because I turned and walked away as fast as possible. Why are you saying it like you did?"
"Because... I did."
"You were watching?!"
"A little."
"Why?"
"Because I was waiting for Jayjay to pick me up and I got bored and I saw the two of you headed around a corner so I followed you."
"YOU BLOODY-"
"EASY."
They stared each other down for a moment before Sam put her hand back on Tosh's shoulder.
"My point is," she said calmly, "Owen looked... like you'd rocked his world after that kiss. The only reason he doesn't talk about it is because he's... shy. Self conscious. He thinks he's undeserving of love, yada yada yada, the whole nine yards. The main takeaway being, I think he does like you, Tosh. You just gotta try a little harder. Peel back his layers like an onion. Do you peel an onion? I don't even know! I'm terrible in the kitchen, I'd end up peeling myself!"
Tosh giggled at that and Sam smiled at her.
"And don't think Diane was prettier than you," she added, "you're absolutely beautiful, Tosh. Especially when you laugh."
She moved her hand to Tosh's face, and Tosh blushed.
"Thank you." She murmured softly.
There was a moment of silence before Tosh cleared her throat awkwardly.
"I should get home," she said, taking a step away, "I'll see you tomorrow."
"Yeah." Sam said, sounding a little sad. She looked at her feet as Tosh left, then glanced over her shoulder.
"Tosh?" She called, and Tosh turned back to her. "I'm sorry. For everything."
"Don't be," Tosh murmured, "I forgive you, Sam."
Sam smiled gratefully, and if Tosh had been a little closer she might've seen tears in her eyes.
Sam then turned her attention to Owen, watching him as he slept.
"I can feel you staring at me." He muttered drowsily after a few minutes of complete silence except for the rattling of his breath.
"I am not!" Sam protested. But she was.
Owen cracked open one eyelid and his dark brown eye slowly focused on her. Sam pursed her lips.
"Why are you here?" Owen asked. Sam could tell he wasn't fully conscious right now because of the painkillers and IV dripping into him.
"I don't know!" Sam sighed in frustration, "I feel bad because you got hurt! I want to be here to help you if you need anything!" She paused, then turned her back to him and slumped down on the floor, leaning up against the hospital bed and pulling her knees into her chest. "I'm just trying to be a better friend to you. To all of you."
There was another short silence, and Sam thought Owen had drifted back to sleep, but then she felt a hand lightly ruffling her hair.
"You are doing better, Sam," Owen muttered, voice a little slurred, "you are a good friend. You helped save my life. You're a much better person on the inside than you try to make people think."
Sam sniffed and let out a tearful laugh, wiping her face with her sleeve.
"I know that's just the good drugs talkin'," she croaked, "so I won't get too sappy."
"No," Owen protested weakly, "not the drugs... it's me... I'm talking... drugs can't talk."
Sam just reached up and took his hand, stroking his knuckles with her thumb.
"So, what was Mark Lynch like?" She asked, "ya kiss him?"
"Not for lack of wanting to." Owen mumbled.
"Oh my God-!" Sam exclaimed, turning around so she was facing Owen on her knees and resting her chin on the mattress.
"Don't get all weird." Owen sighed.
"I won't!"
"You don't think it's strange that I like men and women?"
"I'm pansexual, pal. I don't care."
"I never told you I'm bis... bisexual... that word is funny, isn't it? 'Never'."
Sam nodded a little, then frowned.
"I'll tell you what, though." Owen said with a loopy grin.
"What?" Sam asked, intrigued as she sat up a little straighter and leaned a little closer to him.
"As pretty as Mark Lynch was... I still think Toshiko's prettier. But don't tell her I said that."
Sam just nodded again, this time biting her lips to keep from smiling.
"I won't tell her," she replied, then under her breath added, "yet."