Just Imagine...

Ianto the Manicurist

AUTHOR'S NOTE: this fic was inspired by an art piece by @cozsheep on Tumblr and was written for the Torchwood remix fest!

"Sam, would you mind not grooming yourself where we can see you?" Ianto sighed, watching Sam use a pair of tweezers to pluck at an ingrown hair on her arm.
"Oh yeah, you and Tosh are allowed give each other little spa treatments but I'm not," Sam scoffed, "I've almost got it."
"I think me painting Tosh's nails is very different from you picking at your skin like that." Ianto pointed out, lip curling involuntarily in disgust. Tosh laughed quietly.
"You sound like my mom, y'know that?" Sam sneered, glancing at him for a moment, "why are you painting her nails anyway?"
"Because I couldn't do my right hand," Tosh murmured, "and I wanted it done."
"Well it looks beautiful. That pink is a nice color on you." Sam said, softening.
"Thank you." Tosh said, blushing.
"And you do such a good job, Ianto." Jack drawled, sidling up to Ianto and taking his hand - the hand he was using to paint Tosh's nails.
"Jack, would you mind letting go?" Ianto chuckled.
"I would, actually." Jack teased.
"Fine, but I'm finishing Tosh's nails."
Ianto switched hands and continued painting Tosh's nails with the tiny nail polish brush.
"Whoa, Ianto, you're ambidextrous?" Sam asked, sitting up straighter. Jack and Ianto glared at her.
"You shouldn't assume things like that, Mom." Jack said sternly.
"Yeah, that's rude." Ianto added.
"No, I didn't mean-" Sam began, frowning.
"Don't bother, Sam," Gwen sighed from across the hub as Jack and Ianto started laughing, "they're fucking with you. Did the same thing to Rhys last week."
"Seriously you guys?" Sam demanded in exasperation, "Jacksie, there's way better material for pranks out there."
"I know," Jack giggled, "but it's funny."
"Plus two dominant hands makes it easy to multitask." Ianto added with a sly wink, letting go of Jack's hand to reach for somewhere else.
"OKAY, THAT'S ENOUGH." Owen cut in loudly from the autopsy bay, "I DON'T WANNA HEAR ANYMORE!"
"Interesting how he's all gung-ho to talk about his own sex life but the minute someone else wants to he shuts down." Sam commented.
"Well, he doesn't talk about everything-" Tosh began, then immediately snapped her mouth shut and pursed her lips. Her face became a rather vibrant red.
"Whoa..." Gwen murmured.
"WHAT DID SHE JUST SAY?!" Owen demanded, charging up the stairs.
"Nothing, n-nothing, I swear!" Tosh insisted.
"Too late now guys, cat's outta the bag." Sam chuckled, looking a little too amused by the situation.
"Shut up, Sam!" Owen hissed
"So you haven't told us everything after all," Ianto mused with a smirk, "go on, do tell."
"Yeah, don't be a square, Owen." Sam added, grinning wickedly.
"FUCK YOU." Owen snarled, grabbing the collar of Sam's shirt. Sam didn't seem at all intimidated.
Meanwhile, Tosh had curled into a ball in her chair, covering her face.
"I'm so embarrassed!" She wailed.
"Don't worry Tosh, it's okay," Gwen soothed, walking over to console her, "we sort of already guessed you and Owen were together."
"Yeah," Sam spoke up, "and we were also sure you'd already-"
"Finish that sentence and it will be the last one you ever say." Owen seethed, now also blushing a brilliant red and tightening his grip on her shirt collar. Sam just smirked, as if challenging him.
"Can we go back to painting each other's nails please?" Jack sighed, seemingly just as uncomfortable as Tosh and Owen.
"I don't think I can." Tosh whimpered, not looking up.
"Oh c'mon Tosh, we were just teasing," Ianto murmured gently, "we're happy for you and Owen."
"Really?" Tosh asked, glancing up at him.
"Of course." Gwen laughed.
"Yes, so can you take your violence-hungry hands away from my throat please?" Sam put in, glaring pointedly at Owen.
Owen made a growling noise and reluctantly released Sam from his grip. Sam straightened her shirt back out and patted the couch as an invitation for Owen to sit next to her. Owen folded his arms over his chest, obliging her.
"Do you have any other colors of that nail polish?" Gwen inquired, "like blue or indigo?"
"I actually brought them in and stashed them in my desk," Tosh murmured, "I'm not sure if I have blue, but we can take a look."
"Great. Ianto, would you mind painting my nails after you're done with Tosh?"
"Not at all." Ianto replied with a smile.
"I CALL GOING AFTER GWEN!" Jack exclaimed energetically.
Next to Owen, Sam chuckled.
"You gonna get yours done, Owen?" She asked, nudging him with her elbow.
"I might." Owen muttered, not looking at her.
"C'mon, it'll be fun!" Sam insisted, "look, I'm sorry I made fun of you, okay? You and Tosh make a great team and an even better couple, so why wouldn't I be happy for you? In fact I'm not just happy for you, I'm... I'm proud of you."
"Really?" Owen asked, finally turning his head to look at her. Sam grinned.
"Yeah," she laughed, then she grabbed his hand and stood up to pull him off the couch, "now c'mon, I wanna pick out some nail polish before Jack and Gwen hog all the good colors."