Just Imagine...

For I Have Seen the Stars Too

"Who do you think that 'doctor' Jack always talks about is anyway?" Owen muttered, breaking the silence as he, Sam, Ianto, Tosh, and Gwen all sat in a circle around the coffee table, on one of those nights when Jack had just up and disappeared without a trace and they were all worried sick over whether or not he would return.
"I always assumed he was a former lover," Tosh mused, staring at the empty takeout boxes in front of her, "you know how Jack is."
"Agreed," Gwen put in, "he's probably some old boyfriend Jack just can't get over."
"Maybe not," Ianto objected with a slight harshness to his tone, "he could just be... a friend..." he added abashedly when everyone turned to stare at him.
"Don't be daft, Ianto," Owen chuckled, "Jack doesn't do 'just friends'. You of all people should know that."
"Shut up." Ianto growled.
"He's probably with him right now," Owen went on, clearly trying to deliberately aggravate Ianto now, "shagging him to death in an old shack somewhere-"
"I said SHUT UP, OWEN." Ianto repeated, fist coming down on the table and making the plastic utensils left there rattle against the wood.
"Oh, what?" Owen asked mock-innocently, "is someone a little jealous? Maybe a bit overprotective?"
"Owen, leave him alone," Gwen cut in, "don't be a twat."
"What do you think, Sam?" Tosh spoke up, noticing that Sam hadn't said a thing during their conversation, "has Jack told you anything about his mysterious doctor?"
"Why would he tell Sam if he hasn't told me?" Ianto interjected, still fuming. Gwen placed a hand on his shoulder.
"Alright, Ianto, calm down." She murmured.
"I knew him."
All eyes turned to Sam when she finally spoke, her voice strained and quiet, and filled with a strange sort of longing.
"Sam?" Tosh asked worriedly, and Sam glanced over at her, green eyes shining with a faint sadness.
"I wasn't sure if I was right until Jack returned this time," she went on, "but now I'm certain; this 'doctor' Jack speaks of is... well... I don't even know how to describe him, honestly, he's indescribable. He's a traveller, a magic man, a lone wolf... he's a hero, even though he would say he isn't if he was here. That's just how he was - is. He must still be out there somewhere if Jack was with him all that time when he was gone."
"Did Jack tell you this?" Gwen pressed.
"No," Sam laughed softly, "but I knew. I know what the face of someone who's been with the Doctor looks like. I looked into Jacksie's eyes the day he got back, and I knew. And I was so happy for him, because I could tell he'd been waiting for him to come back. I just wish I could've seen him too. Let him know that... the little kid he left behind is still here, still alive, still fighting, and that I never forgot him and what he gave to me."
The others were all silent for a moment.
"Sorry- how old were you when you met this bloke?" Owen said eventually.
"Fifteen," Sam replied, "and I- oh NO, WAIT! EW! Get your mind outta the fucking gutter, Owen, it wasn't like that!"
"I was just making sure!" Owen protested, "I didn't actually think-"
"Well I would hope you didn't, you disgusting freak! He was like a father to me, not a lover! Jesus!"
"So what did you do with him?" Gwen put in before Sam could rip Owen's ear off, "how did he become like a father to you? What was he like?"
The anger in Sam's face faded, to be replaced with a soft smile.
"He was wonderful," she murmured, "he came into my life when I was at such a low point, and he helped me get away from it all for a while. He showed me the universe in a way nobody else could, took me to so many beautiful places. I never wanted to go home, ever, because life out in space made me forget about my pain."
"So why didn't you stay with him?" Tosh murmured.
"Because, in the end he reminded me of the beauty in my own little corner of life," Sam sighed, "I didn't want to leave him, because I knew he was impossibly lonely, but so was I. I had to go home eventually, and I don't regret that, but... I think about him sometimes, and I wonder if he ever found someone who could stay for him, who could heal him in ways I couldn't, since I was just a broken child. I hope he ended up with someone good."
"Do you think that someone was Jack?" Ianto pressed.
"Ianto, sweetie, jealousy is not a good color on you, my dear," Sam said patiently, "you don't have to worry about Jack's faithfulness, okay? He's head over heels for you and you alone."
Ianto blinked, suddenly turning quite red, but didn't say anything more.
"But Jack never told you anything about where he went with this doctor?" Gwen asked, deliberately changing the subject to save Ianto the humiliation.
"Not yet," Sam replied, "but I plan on talking to him about it, someday, when he's ready to talk about it."
Completely unaware of his team's secret musings about him, Jack was standing alone atop the Millennium Centre, looking out at the Cardiff city skyline.
He already missed the Doctor - he was happy to be back with his team, where he belonged, but he knew he would always feel that slight ache in his chest, that longing to be back out among the stars with him and Rose, like it had been before.
Of course that could never be, Jack knew. He had his own responsibilities now, with his team who had slowly become his family and defending the people of Earth from the horrors the Rift brought, horrors they could never imagine. And besides that, Rose wasn't with the Doctor anymore either.
Jack smiled as he recalled what the Doctor had told him about Rose being pregnant with twins. It was hard to believe, and Jack wished he could at least see the children born to his two best friends, but Rose had gone into hiding for her protection after the Battle of Canary Wharf - that was why her name had been listed among the dead, even though she was alive and well, and living with her parents somewhere in the countryside outside of London where no one could find her.
It was then that Jack realized there were tears falling down his face, quickly drying to his skin in the frigid Wales wind. They weren't exactly tears of sadness, but they weren't really happy tears either, they were somewhere in between, caught in the mix of emotions Jack was feeling in the moment as he thought of Rose and the Doctor and their unborn children.
"Hey Jacksie."
Jack was startled to hear Sam's soft voice behind him on the roof, and quickly wiped his face before turning to look at her.
"Hey!" He said awkwardly, trying and failing to keep his voice from shaking.
"Are you okay?" Sam asked, face suddenly filled with worry, "were you crying?"
"Yeah..." Jack admitted slowly, "I'm okay, though."
"Are you sure?"
"Yeah. Just... thinking about my Doctor."
Sam smiled knowingly, emerald eyes glistening in the sunset.
"Me too." She said quietly, and with so much understanding Jack wasn't even shocked to realize that she knew exactly who he was talking about.
"You knew him too." Jack murmured - it wasn't even a question now, he was already sure of the answer even before Sam gently nodded her head.
"A long time ago," she said, before sucking in a long, shuddering breath, "how is he, Jacksie? Is he... is he happy?"
Jack grinned.
"Yes. Very."
Sam smiled back, eyes welling with tears.
"I'm so glad. That's what he deserves."
"I would've told him you were here if I knew-"
"No, no, don't worry about that. I'll get my chance to see him again too, I'm sure of it."
"Did you know Rose too?"
Jack could tell by the way Sam tilted her head to the side that she had no idea who Rose was.
"She's the one he fell in love with." Jack elaborated, and Sam's eyes widened.
"Fell in love..." she repeated with an unreadable expression, "so... so he did find somebody."
Her smile returned, bigger and more radiant than before.
"That was what I wanted for him."
"They're having children too."
"What? Really?!"
"Yeah! Twins!"
"Twins! Dias mío Jack, I'm gonna cry- this is so wonderful!"
"I know, that's how I felt too."
Suddenly, Sam's arms were around Jack and she was hugging him tightly, pressing a kiss to his cheek.
"I'm happy you're back, Jacksie," she murmured, "but I'm glad you got to see him again too. You've been waiting for him for a long time, haven't you?"
"Almost a century." Jack admitted, slowly relaxing into Sam's warm embrace. "Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't change that for the world, and it was all worth it."
"The waiting?"
"No, the people I met while I was waiting."
Sam chuckled mischievously.
"Ah, you mean Ianto." She said.
"You too!" Jack protested, "all of you! Gwen, Owen, Tosh... even Suzie, before she... y'know. And plenty of others before you, although I had to watch most of them die... and a lot of them didn't, uh... care. As much as... you do."
"Of course we care. That's why we worried about you when you were gone."
"You weren't exactly worried, you were mad. Weren't you?"
"A little, but it was only because we were scared - for you and for ourselves. It was overwhelming for you to suddenly be back because we thought we'd never see you again, and the reality of it was that we were all grieving for you, in our own ways."
"Right... I'm sorry."
"Don't be! Now that I know where you were, I understand. I feel I'd do the same in your position if he suddenly turned up after I hadn't seen him in years."
Jack laughed softly.
"How do you think he'd react to finding out we're family?" He asked.
Sam paused thoughtfully, then started to laugh too.
"I don't think he'd be surprised," she chuckled, "look at us, we're clearly related. I guess my genes are strong enough to carry through several hundred generations. I just wonder if he'd recognize me. I'm so much older now than I was - this scar is new-" She pointed to the tiny scar through her left eyebrow "-well, most of them are, to him at least. It's been thirteen years, I've changed a lot, but to him I'm still a teenager."
"He's over nine hundred years old, I'm sure he wouldn't be too shocked by you being twenty eight now." Jack assured her.
"Still..." Sam murmured with a slight laugh before becoming more grim, "... do you think he'd still know me? If he ever saw me again?"
"Of course he would!"
"No, really. Do you think he would? Be honest."
Jack sighed deeply, chewing his lip and staring out across the city. Sam raised an eyebrow.
"Okay, wow, that says it all." She muttered.
"I was thinking!" Jack protested, "you said to be honest! I don't know, and I don't think we'll ever know."
"Unless he comes back." Sam added, and Jack turned to stare into the hopefulness in her gaze.
"Unless he comes back." He agreed after a moment's hesitation.
Although, if it took as long as it had last time, Jack silently hoped that Sam was still alive by the time the Doctor returned to Cardiff. He didn't want to think about her dying before she got to see him again. He didn't want to think about her dying at all, really.
"C'mon," Sam said, oblivious to the dark spiral his thoughts had taken, "let's go back in, the others are waiting very impatiently for you - especially Ianto. Jesus, I had no idea he was the possessive type. You've got your work cut out for ya with him, y'know."
Jack laughed heartily as he followed her back to the entrance to the hub, the looming pain of the future in the back of his mind pushing back for a moment - this team had a way of doing that for him that no one else had ever done before.
He had meant what he said about the wait being worth it, but not just the wait for the Doctor's return.
The wait for finding this team and these people that made him feel so good was more than worth it too.