Just Imagine...

Haircuts (Sort Of) and Hotels

Sam hadn't been there when Jack found the team at the house with the blowfish. She wasn't at the hub either, though Jack thought he'd heard Ianto say her name during a phone call.  
"I came back for you," he said, looking the younger man in the eyes, then looked around at the rest of his team, "all of you." He paused. "Where's-?"
"Sam?" Gwen filled in, "she might not be coming in tonight..."
"Why?" Jack asked, heart leaping into his throat, "did she leave? Did she go home to Saint Lucia?"
"No..." Ianto said softly.
"Is she... is she dead?" Jack asked, chest constricting.
"She complains so much sometimes I wish she was dead." Owen muttered.
"Owen!" Gwen hissed, "she's not dead, Jack, I promise. And she hasn't left Cardiff either. That we know of, at least."
"Then where-?" Jack began, but that was when the cog door rolled open and Jack froze, stunned into silence.
He almost couldn't recognize Sam.
Her hair had been cut, it was so short she hardly had any left compared to the lion's mane she'd had before. She was also limping, and walking with a cane. There was a bandage wrapped around her left knee.
Sam turned her head and made eye contact with him. At first she looked shocked, but then that familiar sparkle came back into her emerald gaze. Jack would know that look anywhere.
"Hey, Jacksie," she said softly, smiling in disbelief, "you... you're home!"
Jack's eyes filled with tears and he rushed to her, falling to his knees in front of her and burying his face in her shirt, wrapping his arms around her legs like a little kid. Sam patted him on the back with her free hand - the one not holding her cane.
"What happened to you??" He sobbed, staring up at this new version of his renther. Sam took her hand off his back and scratched her nape almost sheepishly.
"Uhh..." she said with a slight laugh, "it's a long story. Don't worry, y'hear? I'm okay."
"Or at least you were okay, once we got you to the hospital." Owen mused.
"Owen!" Gwen repeated.
"He feels bad enough." Tosh added in a low voice.
"Then why did he LEAVE US?" Owen shouted, turning on her, "HUH? Answer me that, JACK HARKNESS! WHY DID YOU LEAVE?!" Jack could hear Owen stomping up behind him, "WHY, JACK?... SAY SOMETHING!"
But Jack couldn't. Couldn't speak. Couldn't hold in the pain of the past year anymore. He was crying. And he hated that he had to cry here, in front of everyone, while hugging his renther's legs like a child.
"Owen, back off!" Sam hissed, but there was no need. Owen had realized what was happening and was now staring at Jack in shock. He took half a step back, blinking.
"Jack?" Ianto asked gently, coming over to kneel beside him and place a hand on his shoulder, "what's the matter?"
"Listen, Jack," Owen mumbled guiltily, "I'm s-"
"Don't." Jack managed to choke out, "don't say you're sorry, I don't deserve that. I left you."
"What happened while you were gone, Jack?" Tosh asked as she and Gwen joined the group.
"It doesn't matter." Jack sniffed.
"Yes it DOES!" Sam exclaimed, "it matters to me! Especially if it hurt you! Who do I need to kill to make this right?? I'll beat 'em with my cane! It's not just to help me walk, y'know!"
"Sam." Gwen sighed.
"Would you stop just saying names?" Owen grumbled at her.
Jack was trying to relax, get his emotions back under control. Ianto was holding him, which helped. A little.
He didn't want to talk about the Master with the others, and he didn't even know where to start anyway.

Sex in a hotel room was Jack's idea of a perfect fun night. He had thought the feeling of Ianto's body on top of his would drive away his bad memories, but that just wasn't the case. At Ianto's soft touch, Jack shrivelled. Curling into a ball on the bed, he began to cry.
"What?" Ianto asked anxiously, "do you want to stop?"
"No," Jack choked, "no." He repeated.
Jack wept the whole time he and Ianto made love. Ianto was so gentle with him, he took it slow, and kept holding Jack when they were done, the soft, warm skin of his belly pressing against the small of Jack's back. He pulled the duvet over them both.
"What happened while I was gone?" Jack croaked, a puddle of tears forming under his face on the pillow.
"Sam gave Gwen a little trouble at first," Ianto murmured, his warm breath tickling Jack's nape, "they argued at lot. But then something happened... they became very close. They're like siblings now. Sam became Gwen's right-hand-man... right-hand-person... you know what I mean. They're almost like a team, the two of them against hardship."
"You're proud of them." Jack laughed tearfully.
"Aren't you?" Ianto asked.
"Yeah. I'm proud of all of you. And I'm so sorry I left." Jack clutched at the duvet, making a fist with the fabric inside.
"I'm just happy you're back now." Ianto said softly, kissing the back of his neck.
"I don't deserve any of you." Jack whimpered, squeezing his eyes shut.
"That's not true!" Ianto protested, "if that were true, we wouldn't have been so happy you came back."
Jack looked at the digital clock on the bedside table, purposely distracting himself.
"My past self just asked you out on a date." He murmured, feeling a smile curl his lips up.
"I guess I'm trying to find the right way to say yes, then." Ianto laughed.
"Do you still want to?" Jack asked nervously.
"Of course!" Ianto said, "how about tomorrow?"
Jack turned his head so he could see Ianto's sparkling sapphire eyes in the dim light of the room and the twinkling cityscape beyond.
"Tomorrow." He agreed.
He hadn't realized until now how beautiful that one word could be.