Just Imagine...

Letting Go

The rookies had asked Sam to tell them what Torchwood missions were like in Cardiff. Sam, being a storyteller at heart, was more than willing.
"Gather 'round, my children, I'll tell you all a twisted tale of what life was like across the sea." She announced, standing on the couch - to Ianto's dismay, as he'd just cleaned those cushions.
"Dear God." Devin groaned as she, Jessie, Jeremy, and Miguel all sat in the beanbag chairs set up on the floor around the couch. Sam sat back down, with her legs apart and her elbows resting on her knees, leaning forwards with a big grin.
"How about we tell 'em about the Brecon Beacons, eh?" She asked Ianto, Gwen, and Owen.
"You can," Owen muttered from his desk, "I'm out." He got up and walked into the lab, closing the door behind him with a loud thump.
"Are you sure we should start with that one, Sam?" Gwen asked warily, "it's a bit scary." She glanced at Ianto, who was gazing out the hub's big window overlooking the bottom of Rodney Bay.
"All Torchwood stories are scary," Sam said, missing the point of Gwen's query completely, "these guys can handle it, right guys?" The rookies nodded eagerly. "See?" Sam turned to Gwen, "perfectly fine!" Gwen sighed. She knew Ianto would never speak up for himself on this matter even if remembering what happened with the cannibals gave him nightmares for a week, and unfortunately Sam was too naive to pick up on it herself.
Sam began her story, telling the rookies about how the six original members of the team had driven out into the countryside to investigate some recent disappearances in the area. How Gwen and Owen had found a dead body in the woods and how that had lead them to discover the cannibals.
"Cannibals?" Jessie echoed at that point, horrified.
"Oh yes," Sam murmured gravely, "we went out there expectin' to find aliens, but what we found was even more horrific. There was a whole family of them, they had this thing called a harvest where they killed everyone in the village for food. And they almost got the six of us too."
"How did you stop them?" Jeremy asked.
"You saved us." Ianto mumbled, staring off. What the rookies didn't see was that he was looking at Jack, who was up in his office. They all thought he meant Sam.
"Well," Sam began, "it wasn't all on me. I didn't ride through the wall on a tractor and shoot 'em all down, I just grabbed an old piece of plywood and beat up the leader of that gang of creeps with it." She conveniently left out the part about the leader being seconds away from cutting open Ianto's throat.
"You did?" Jessie asked, blue eyes sparkling.
"Yup," Sam replied, "but I'll tell ya, the scariest thing about that mission wasn't the cannibals. It was finding out that Owen boinked Gwen."
"SAM!" Gwen exclaimed, furious, "I can't believe you'd say that! Owen and I hadn't even slept together at that point!" But Sam wasn't listening, she was staring at Ianto. And that's when Gwen realized that Ianto was laughing hysterically. The rookies were laughing a little bit as well, but not as hard as Ianto. He was laughing so hard he snorted a couple times before regaining his composure.
"S-sorry Gwen," he muttered when he had his breath back, "that was just too funny... what are you staring at?"
"Ianto, do you realize that's the first time you ever laughed about what happened with the cannibals?" Sam asked. Ianto had to think about that for a moment, but he soon realized she was right. He normally cringed at the mention of that mission, even if it was a joke, the memories were just too haunting for him to find it funny.
"Yeah," he murmured, "I guess it was the first time."
"I don't get it," Miguel spoke up, "what's so funny about Owen hitting Gwen with a ball? That's kinda mean." Jessie frowned in concern before getting up and dragging him across the room. She murmured something quietly to him before he grinned.
"OH!" He exclaimed, smacking himself in the forehead. "I get it now! Never mind!" He called across the hub. But Ianto had left by now, leaving Gwen and Sam alone on the couch as Devin and Jeremy got up as well.
"Sorry," Sam said to her friend, "I shouldn't've brought that up."
"It's alright, Owen's probably told them about it by now," Gwen sighed, "besides, you made Ianto laugh about that mission, no one's been able to do that. Not even Jack."
"I know," Sam said, "I probably should've told a different story but... maybe deep down I was trying to make Ianto laugh all along. I hate that the rest of us seem to have moved on from what happened that day but he still seems to be carrying it around - not that he shouldn't, he was so young, so innocent, so broken. He learned that this job isn't easy the hard way. I just wanted to try and ease the pain of those memories."
"Sam, it's alright," Gwen murmured, putting a hand on her shoulder, "I understand. We all experienced trauma that day, and you're just trying to help us forget about it and start to feel better. But that's what you do best," Sam looked at her with a small smile, green eyes twinkling, "you don't have to try so hard. You've succeeded." Gwen finished. Sam hugged her.
"Thanks Gwen." She said.
"You're welcome." Gwen replied.
Meanwhile, Ianto had gone up to Jack's office.
"I heard you laughing," Jack said with a grin, "what was so funny?"
"Just something Sam said about the Brecon Beacons." Ianto said. Jack stared at him.
"You were laughing that hard about the mission with the cannibals?" He asked, then immediately regretted his word choice. "I mean-" he started.
"It's okay," Ianto cut him off, smiling, "I'm okay now. I think... maybe I've let go." Jack stood up and held him in a firm embrace.
"I'm proud of you, then," he murmured, "and I'm always here for you too." Ianto smiled into his husband's neck. He knew that was true.