Choti Si Duniya - ArShi FF

31. A wife remembers

Q/N - Have you heard of a saying "Elephants remember"? Well, they say that an elephant's memory is very sharp, and it can remember things as old as 100 years ago. Some people argue that a wife's memory closely competes with them! A wife (or even a girlfriend for that matter) can remember things from a decade ago and then bring them in your conversation. This chapter is about that *hint - biggest mistake of his life!* (I had written it a long time ago but there never seemed to be a right time to accommodate this) so here we go *rubs hands in glee*

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Khushi knew she would have to face an angry Arnav when she entered their bedroom. After all she had left him mid-conversation (rarest of times when he was telling her something and she was listening), but one loud scream of 'mamma' from their daughter and she ran away. They had put the kids to sleep and had the baby monitor to prove nothing was wrong with anyone, but still Khushi wouldn't sit calmly when one of her kids called her.

And like many times lately, it proved to be Arohi's mock cry because she wanted to hear another bedtime story. So after fifteen minutes, finally putting Aru to sleep Khushi came back to their bedroom only to witness a miffed Arnav (again rarest of times, as he generally didn't mind their kids asking for her attention).

"Arnavji hum-"

"stop giving into her demands Khushi." Arnav sternly commented, getting on their bed. In reality he was just annoyed that Khushi left him mid-conversation and probably insecure that 2 of his girls chose to ignore him, as Aru too called her mother instead of her 'dada' unlike usually. So he lashed out on Khushi.

"Why are you getting angry on me Arnavji? You are saying I give into our daughter's demands?"

"Yes Khushi, that is EXACTLY what I said. Every time she just calls you and you leave everything to run to her when we both know she does that to get your attention. Stop giving in to her demands. You're spoiling her." Arnav continued his tirade even when it sounded so unreal to his own ears. He was guilty of what he was accusing her of, spoiling Aru and all their kids in fact.

"hum usse bighad te hai ya aap?" Khushi asked with her hands folded across her chest.

He just shrugged, as if saying he didn't agree with her, further infuriating her.

"Thik hai, tell me who lets her dress in her pajamas when we have Puja at home, or we visit temples? Whose brand new Air Pods were given a milk bath few weeks ago because your princess Arohi wanted to demonstrate swimming lessons? And is it me who lets her play with his brand-new phone despite her messing it up all the time? And not just Aru, you buy ridiculously expensive toys for Chiku, got him an I-pad at the age of 5 to attend online school and thank god my angel baccha Pari doesn't demand much but you have still filled her wardrobe with every possible color of dresses and shoes because she likes colors! Is it me? No, it is you Mr. Arnav Singh Raizada! You are the one who gives into our kids' demands and has spoiled them, not me." When Khushi was done counting Arnav's crimes (well a very few, the list was long lol), Arnav just stared at her, he did not know what to say. Because all of that was true.

Seeing no response from him fueled Khushi to speak more, to no one in particular,

"Ye accha hain (this is good), you do everything for him and his kids and then hear him saying you are spoiling them. And no, he won't even let me discipline them. He will come to their rescue saying, 'don't shout at chiku, let him watch this one match', and 'hey, aru is a baby, why are you making her fold her hands while praying? Its ok if she doesn't want to'. Kuch kaho toh problem, na kaho toh problem." Khushi continued her blabbering, and Arnav was almost leaving from there as he knew it was useless to argue further. But her next sentence made him come to a standstill

"and then he will call you a mistake of his life!" Khushi thankfully stopped her tirade at that as if to hear him retort. And wondering why he did not say anything yet, she realized what she just said. She looked at him, who at this time had frozen in his step.

Truth be told, Arnav had asked for forgiveness numerous times in past 9 years for all those things he said to her before their remarriage. All the accusations, filthy things and worst was when he called her a mistake. He himself was haunted by the memory of that night for a long time. And he used to thank his stars that Khushi had forgiven him. He still had apologized to her numerous times over the years, feeling utterly ashamed as how he could have said that. But then, that Arnav was different. This Arnav was different. This Arnav was Khushi's Arnav, chiku's papa, aru-pari's dad who loved them all to death. They were nothing less than blessings in his life, Khushi being the most special one. And he had told her that. If only he was convincing enough!

While Khushi had forgiven him every time he apologized, it seemed that certain wounds were very deep. Things like that hurt your subconscious mind and stay there and then re-surface at a time when you don't realize you still thought about them. Khushi knew he was no longer that guy, he had repented, and she had forgiven him too but the scars were obviously present.

Khushi approached him slowly, his back was still facing her. She placed a hand on his shoulder,

"Humara woh matlab nahi tha Arnav (I didn't mean it)" calling him Arnav meant the moment was special....

He slowly turned; his face was showing pain which reflected on hers too

"Does it still bother you Khushi?" he sincerely asked

"NO! No Arnav ji,its just-" he kept looking at her without blinking, as if asking if she was being truthful

"Ok, maybe, maybe it still does. But I didn't mean to say it like that, not now."

"Khushi, I have said sorry so many times. And you said you had forgiven me."

"And I have Arnav ji. That's why I am saying, it was an honest slip of tongue. I did not mean to hurt you." she said taking his hand in hers.

"If you have forgiven me, why can't you forget?"

Khushi deeply exhaled. This was difficult. But she still answered, "Can you forget the time when you saw me in sha-that man's arms on jiji's wedding night? Even when you know the entire truth now, have known for 10 years now, tell me honestly, does it still not consist of your deepest dark memories?" and she had hit a bull's eye. Evoking past, especially bitter past was not her intention, but she had to make him see the point, that it was ok. She did not hold any grudge against him, but forgetting things like that is not easy. Neither for him, nor for her. And that is ok. That has what made them stronger today!

"Arnav ji, all I want to say is, we can't change our past. But we have moved on, stronger than what we were then. Wiser than our older self. And that's what counts. We have to remember our past to make sure we don't repeat those mistakes ever. Hain na?" Khushi said, slowly noticing his face relax as her words made sense to him. She pried his arms open and went onto hug him.

"hmm you are right. We have learnt from our past. And for what its worth, I am truly sorry for all those horrible things I said and did to you. You're the most right thing in my life Khushi!" Arnav said pulling her head away.

"I know. And I am sorry too for bringing up the past now."

"Its ok. By the way, you are right. You have become wiser. You have dimagh(brain) now." Arnav taunted her, referring to how he used to call her an emotional fool.

"haww" with her mouth wide open in a perfect 'O', she playfully hit him on his chest but then thought of a perfect retort, "maybe you're right. Back then I didn't posses as much intellect tabhi toh aap ko haan kaha(that's why I said yes to you)." she said tongue in cheek and before he could comprehend, she had fled away from his arms!

Oh, who was he kidding, Khushi Kumari Gupta Singh Raizada was a smart woman!

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A/N – like I said, written it long ago as I was trying to bring closure to few things said on the show. Hope it turned out ok.... honestly, I do see things from past coming in their conversations now and then and them facing it in a mature way.

Dedicated to all wives, who remember! :P