My Attraction To Red ~ Y/n Y/l/n x Wanda Maximoff x Natasha Romanoff

23. Scared

TW: sh, depression, smoking

-next day (Wanda's pov)-

It was the next day, most of the team was devastated because of yesterday, I had made breakfast and went to y/n's room, I gently opened the door and she was laying on her back, her eyes open, as her eyes directed to the door they widened in fear 'n/n it is me, honey it is me' I sooth 'no... no don't hurt me' she starts trying to get away, I run towards her and try to help her but she starts squirming more and more, I grab both her arms and she looks with terror in my eyes 'draga it is me' I keep saying 'get off of me!' she shouts as I get blasted away, I look at her 'get out... please' she says and I nod, then leave the room

I speed walk to Nat's room as I burst in 'she is scared of me' I say as I burst down in tears, Nat rushes over to me and sits down 'babe it is okay, she is just shaken up from what had happened, she'll be okay' Nat soothes as I calm down 'i'll talk to her' Nat says as she helps me up, I sit on her bed and Nat leaves, a few minutes later she comes back, looking sad 'scared.' she says as she starts sobbing.

-One month later (y/n's pov)-

The team keeps trying to get into my room but I have locked it, they've put food in front of my door but I haven't touched it, only times I get outside my room is in the night, not for eating their made food but I get some fruit and get back to my room, that is all I eat in a day, a piece of apple. They've tried talking to me but I just brush them off and telling them to shut up and get lost. honestly I've been bad since last week, I have sleepless nights, I cry all the time, self harm, I have panic attacks and of course eat barely anything, I've fallen into a deep depression. 

I get out of my bed as it is already 1PM and I walk towards my closet putting on new sweats and a hoodie, suddenly there is a knock onto my door 'no, get away!' I shout and I hear a faint sigh 'Wanda...' I whisper as it was followed by footsteps, I get back into my bed and start looking for a movie

I watch a movie and it is soon dinner time, someone knocks on my door and I quickly get out of my bed, I rush to the door and lock it because it wasn't, I facepalm myself 'y/n open the door' I hear Tony's voice 'no.' I say and walk back to my bed, I get onto it and start my movie, I supposedly put it on high volume so I don't hear Tony's shouting

I close my eyes as I try to process the last month and when they fought me, soon Tony's faint shouts stop and Friday starts talking 'miss y/l/n you need to get downstairs immediately' she says 'friday tell the team I am not coming' I say 'yes miss y/l/n' she answers, it is silent for a little while until I see Tony appear on the screen, with the team behind him 'y/n get downstairs please, we want to talk to you, it has been a month' he says 

'Friday, voice message... I am not coming, just get that idea out of your mind' I say with my tired and dry voice 'sent' I say and Friday sends the message, it is silent and I don't get a message back so I just get back onto my serie, soon it is 2AM and I get out of my bed, I quietly open my door and walk towards the kitchen, I walk over to the refrigerator and grab an bottle of water, then an apple, then sit onto the counter as I silently eat my apple, suddenly I hear voices and I get off of the counter as I hide behind the kitchen island, the voices are soon known as Natasha Romanoff and Wanda Maximoff, my two girlfriends 

'how can we gain her trust again, Nat it is been a month' Wanda says with a pleading voice 'I don't know, Wands, we've really damaged her, Tony said that she only is been seen out of her room at night' Nat says as her voice grows louder, they are walking closer to me

I panic and quickly use my telekinetic powers to move a vase what takes the attention of both women, I quickly get out of the kitchen and rush to my room, as I am walking into the hallway of our rooms Steve gets out of his room, I rush to my room and slam the door, I knew he saw me 'y/n?' he asks as he bangs onto the door, then other doors open and I lock my door 'what is wrong, Steve?' I hear Sam 'y/n, she was out of her room' I hear Steve 

'y/n?' I hear Wanda's voice 'yeah, she came from the stairs' Steve explains 'we were just downstairs, we didn't see her?' Nat questions, suddenly they all start banging, maybe they are thinking I am getting kidnapped or something? I thought and snickered 'oi I am fine go to sleep or something!' I shout and the banging stops 'y/n please open the door' Sam says, I stayed silent, having a war in my head between giving in and not giving in 'no' I say as I walk to my bathroom, I grab the blade I hid in my drawers and stood by my sink, looking at myself, pale, ugly, tired

-start tw-

I hold the blade onto my wrist, hesitating  but then doing it, I start slicing cuts, I try to stop myself but the tears soon joins in the war that I've just lost in my head, my forearm is covered in blood and cuts, I hold them under water to rinse of the water as I winch, I see how I've damaged my whole forearm. I wrap my arm in bandage. 

I walk back to my room and change into sweats and a sweater, then walk to my window, I open it and look down, I jump out of my room and gently fly down, I need to get distraction, I start to fly to New York 

In New York it is silent, of course it is 2:30 in the morning, everyone is asleep, I see a coffee shop and hesitate, I have money with me but do I want to fuck up this bad? I think but then I decide to do it, I show my id, pull my hood up and get in 'can I get something strong?' I ask the man, he looks at me with an raised eyebrow 'just give me something that is good for 1000 dollars, do ya have drugs too?' I ask and he nods, he packs some things and I look at it

It looks decent and I give him the money, then leave and walk around New York, I get onto a bench and look at what I have, the cocaine is in bags of 1 gram for to go, I have a container of pills and I have different kinds of wheat rolls. I grab two regular wheat rolls (I am not a professional so I call it that for now) and my lighter and then light it up

I start to get high a bit as I feel all my emotions drain away, I start to walk again, in the direction of the compound, as I am walking towards my room I see that the lights are out, I see a figure standing in front of Natasha's window, I quickly run to my room and I start to fly I get back into my room, no one has burst in so I am happy for that, I hope Natasha didn't see me. I grab a baggy and put it on my thumb, I quickly inhale and the stuff gets into me, it gets affect and gosh it feels good, I hide it under my bed into four boxes and get into my bed, soon I fall asleep.

-end tw-