The Hidden Darkness

My Dangerous Demons

You wanna know why my demons are so dangerous..?
Why it's nearly impossible for me to get them to leave me alone at night..?
Why do they keep coming back again and again..?

It's because they don't act like demons...
They talk to me like we're old friends...
Telling me that they'll always be there for me.

So whenever I'm sad, or I feel alone...
My depression wraps me up in a blanket,
And says: "I'm here; I understand... it's okay to cry."
So I end up crying quietly to myself...
Silently wishing for any sign of help,
And for everything to be okay again.

And whenever I'm in a stressful situation...
My anxiety takes me by the hand,
And says: "I'm here; it's okay to be afraid."
So I do everything I can to keep it together,
Because I feel like I'm not allowed to break...
Even though I'm pretty much shattered already.

And every time I look at myself in the mirror...
My insecurity places her hands on my shoulders,
And says: "I'm here; it's okay to think you're ugly."
So I look away from my reflection,
Because all I see is a monster looking back.

And on those captivatingly beautiful nights,
When the stars and moon shine so brightly...
My insomnia sits with me,
And says: "I'm here; it's okay to stay up tonight."
So I lean into his embrace and ask him to stay.
I beg him to keep me awake.. just a bit longer...
Because I don't want to be stuck in a nightmare.

I try explaining it over and over... again and again...
But no one understands.
Everything I do... Whether it's art, writing, or anything else,
It's all to escape the things I hide behind my eyes.

So if you ask me if I'm okay,
I'll just smile at you,
And say: "Yeah, I'm fine.." even though it's a lie...
Because no one is supposed to know...
That I don't want to die.. but it's hard to stay alive...