My childhood is nothing more than fleeting memories
Most of which I don't remember..
It's blurred out faces and uncertain places..
Or it's a smell and a feeling that I just can't place.
If I'm lucky I get pieces of a fractured memory
Like I'm trying to build a puzzle,
But I don't have all the pieces..
It's not that I had a bad childhood or a traumatic one
But that doesn't mean I want to remember everything
And yet, at the same time I do.. God I'm so confused.
Even though I don't remember everything
My mind still races back to certain times and places
Or to certain conversations with people
I think maybe if I did or said something different
What would have been the outcome?
I start to spiral about the "what if" and the "why would I"
Which slowly turns into "how could I?"
When my family starts talking about the past,
I feel like they want me.. need me.. to remember it
And then I beat myself up because I just can't
I don't have amnesia or anything,
But I still don't remember.. and I don't know why..
They say that to know oneself you have to understand oneself.
And I believe most of that lies within memories,
So if I can remember who I was then, maybe I can understand who I am now..
But I guess I'll forever be an unfinished puzzle.
YOU ARE READING
The Hidden Darkness
PoesiaI honestly don't know what to put here.. I decided to write a book, and so I wrote these poems. I know that they aren't very good, but at least I tried.. right?? 😅😅😅
