What does he see when he looks at me? I wanna know.
Does he love me.. or does he love the things I can do?
Does he see past my walls.. or maybe he just chooses not to?
All he sees is perfection, but that isn't who I am.. not what I am...
I'm fucked up and broken, and it's not easy for me to trust.
I apologize for every little thing I do.. or don't do...
I force myself to do everything.. even getting out of bed in the morning..
I don't talk to anyone.. I bottle everything up and lock it away deep inside myself...
I tune and zone out all the time.. mostly to block out my own thoughts.
I hate everything about myself.. including my own fucking body!
And yet, despite it all, I smile when he calls me beautiful...
What's wrong with me? Because I love him, but I'm scared.
I'm petrified that one day he'll see it all and leave
I love him so much, and I know it'll destroy me if he ever leaves
Especially since he promised me that he wouldn't leave.. ever!
I believe him.. really I do, but it's hard for me to trust 'I promise.'
Just because all I know is broken promises and lies from everyone around me...
So, will he tell me what he sees when he looks at me? I wonder...
I want him to be honest with me.. 100% crystal clear honesty.
I know that I can handle the truth.. even if it shatters my soul.
YOU ARE READING
The Hidden Darkness
PoetryI honestly don't know what to put here.. I decided to write a book, and so I wrote these poems. I know that they aren't very good, but at least I tried.. right?? 😅😅😅
