What did he see when he looked at me? I wanted to know.
Did he love me.. or did he love the things I can do?
Did he see past my walls.. or maybe he just chooses not to?
All he saw is perfection, but that isn't who I am.. not what I am...
I'm fucked up and broken, and it's not easy for me to trust.
I apologize for every little thing I do.. or don't do...
I force myself to do everything.. even getting out of bed in the morning..
I don't talk to anyone.. I bottle everything up and lock it away deep inside myself...
I tune and zone out all the time.. mostly to block out my own thoughts.
I hate everything about myself.. including my own fucking body!
And yet, despite it all, I smile when he called me beautiful...
What's wrong with me? Because I loved him, but I'm scared.
I was petrified that one day he'd see what I see in me and leave
I loved him so much, and I thought losing him was gonna destroy me.
Especially since he promised me that he wouldn't leave.. ever.. but that was a lie.
I believed him.. really I did, but it's hard for me to trust 'I promise.'
Just because all I know is broken promises and lies from everyone around me...
So, will he tell me what he saw when he looked at me? I wonder...
I want him to be honest with me.. 100% crystal clear honesty.
I know that I can handle the truth.. even if it shatters my soul.
YOU ARE READING
The Hidden Darkness
PoetryI honestly don't know what to put here.. I decided to write a book, and so I wrote these poems. I know that they aren't very good, but at least I tried.. right?? 😅😅😅
