Why?

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Dear God,

Hast thou forsaken me?
I've heard that you only give us the battles we can handle,
But I do not know if I can handle mine...
I think it's too much for me...

You've had me beaten and broken.. on the verge of suicide...
Only to send me a message through my family...
I only want to be free... I just want to feel okay again...

You've given me battle after battle...
Each one is harder than the last...
Testing me in every possible way...
Even though I follow no religion...
Even though I don't pray to anyone or anything...
I'm being tested.. given fight after fight...

WHY??

Why do you do it?? I'm tired of fighting!!
All I remember from my childhood is fighting...
My mom fought my dad for me and my brothers,
Her fighting with my older brother,
Myself fighting with my brothers.. fight after fight...

WHY??

What is it all for?? Is there a point to this endless war??
Honestly... I don't think you have any answers...
How could you, when even you don't know...

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