lost..

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If you were to ask me how I'm doing...
I'd tell you that I'm lost.
I'm always lost in thought, even when you have my attention...

I lose a fight against my monsters and demons, only to win the next fight...
In writing this, and all my poems, I lost control of my emotions...
At least, of the ones I stored away way long ago...

And I almost lost my life when I was 16...
I've made a promise with me, myself and I:
I'm not allowed to commit suicide,
No matter how hard it gets...
I'm to stay alive...

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