The Hidden Darkness

Why I Write

I know it's real cliche, but I'm not like other girls...
I write and draw exactly how I truly feel.. way deep inside.

I don't allow myself to feel... I lock it all away.
So when I write or draw, I tune out all the noise.. the world,
Just so I can let my emotions go, let myself breathe, and let me be... me.

The words just pour out through my pens, my pencils.. my fingertips...
The words and pictures flow so naturally out of me, it almost hurts
It hurts when I share my work, and the ones I love tell me to change it...
Change it all.. change everything.. from the words, down to the phrases...

It's almost like telling me to change everything about myself...
From the way that I walk, all the way down to how I breathe.

'Write shorter poems..' 'Why are your poems so sad?'
'Use he/she/they/them instead of I/me/my/mine.'
'Write happier, draw happier. The world isn't so bad.'
'You're surrounded by love.. why all of the pain?'

I knew that already. I've tried and tied.. it doesn't work, not for me...
I see the world in a perfect picture kind of way.
I know it's flawed, but almost to a point of perfection..
But you see my poetry as a flaw.. a thing that needs correction...
I understand that you're just trying to help, but I don't need it...
I don't think anyone will ever see the painful beauty behind my poetry...

I write because it takes some of my pain away... it's my sick kinda therapy. Me writing poetry, is me telling my story;
The way it should be told.. the way it needs to be told.
Imperfect, broken, flawed, full of misery and mistakes
But also with crystal clear brutal honesty.
If you can't see that, then you don't see me at all...