The Hidden Darkness

I Knew Him Well

Its as they say, the devil has many forms to fool you.. to trick you...
Into trusting him; only it a trap to lure you in, to feed off of your pain

He has taken many forms, and gone by many names throughout my life;
Yet, I was able to recognize him.. even if it was after he fooled me
He was there.. in the room next to mine, waiting to sneak in
To lie down next to me.. to touch me.. to hurt me and break me...

I can still feel his hands burning my skin as he touches me, grabs me
I can still see his eyes, cold and emotionless, as he looks at me...
I can still hear his voice in my head telling me what to do
(and what he'll do to me if I didn't listen.. if I didn't obey)
He told me that I'm not enough so many times I believed it, I still do
After all, 'who would want to be with the ugliest ogre when they can have the fairest in the land?'

I remember all of the fear, the sickening feeling, the pain...
Even the helplessness I felt each night he came back...
Everything he made me do, the things he did to me...
Made me feel like I was dirty and nasty and a monster
So many times I believed I was alone because I was damaged goods

The devil has many forms; but even still, I knew him well...
He was my ex-friend, my father, my mother's ex-lover, and more...
But his favorite disguise was the one that hurt me the most...
my older brother...

I feel his presence everywhere I go.. somewhere just out of sight...
His words whispered silently.. just barely hidden in the gossip,
All of the bad boys and the fake good boys wore his crooked grin,

It's like a suffocating fog all around me.. I can't breathe!
I stay awake for as long as I can.. jump at every odd sound...
I can't shake the fear, the panic, or the anxiety.. they cling to me

So, when it comes to the devil I knew him well.