Journal

5/20/20

5/20/20- Good morning journal. Today is not my day. It has not been that bad though. I started my homework extra early and now writing is the only thing I have to do. It is not even nine in the morning yet. At least I have been somewhat productive.

This morning I woke up and when I got up I got dizzy. I normally get dizzy but it has been getting a lot worse recently. My vision went black and I saw stars and I fell to the ground. You might say I am being dramatic but I am not. It was not pleasant and was pretty scary.

I have discovered that I have low blood pressure and hyponatremia. I have not been getting enough salt and I eat a lot of foods that lower my blood pressure when I have naturally always had a lower blood pressure. The hyponatremia is caused by drinking too much water. You can drink up to around four cups of water per hour and be fine. Any more than that and your body can not handle it.

I drink a lot more than that. Every day you should drink about half your body weight in ounces. I drink more than my body weight in ounces. I do workout but I do not sweat enough to need so much excess water. My mission today is to cut down that intake.

Symptoms of hyponatremia are headaches, nausea, and dizziness. This is the reason I have felt like I am constantly gonna throw up for the past twenty four hours. It also explains why I am a bit dizzy even when sitting down. Now I could be wrong and I could have something else but lets face it all symptoms point to this.

I did not look this up either. Unnus Annus talked about it a bit in a video and I thought it was interesting. It worried me a bit but I did not believe that I drank that much water. Guess who actually drinks that much water?

Because I drink more water than I process my body holds onto that water. I have gained around three pounds in one day. Water retention is normal. Three pounds (for me at least) is way too high. I am so bloated that my stomach is almost completely round even though two days ago it was not.

I feel so sick all the time guys. This is not fun. This could actually be really dangerous. As of right now it is so unsafe for me to see a doctor. I woke up with a sore throat and so much flem that I do not even understand how I was breathing. I do not want to risk getting anyone else sick.

It could just be a sore throat and it will be gone in a couple days but still. I also have a really really weak immune system which I am sure I have mentioned before. If I go to a hospital I would most likely get sick. Even if it is just a cold that is still dangerous for myself and others if I get it.

The mom works for an old lady so I really can not afford to be sick or to get the mom sick. If problems keep persisting I obviously will have to see a doctor but I am hoping I can control this myself. It can be dangerous to try and correct the problems too quickly so I will have to slowly try to get better.

So far I have really reduced my water intake but that is because I did not have a proper workout today. I will try to still drink a lot of water today but I will try to keep it closer to a gallon. I am also drinking a big glass of coffee right now so that I can drink something other than water.

I feel extremely sick and typing is hard so I apologize if I am making mistakes. I really hope that resting, drinking a bit less water, and eating a bit more salt will help because I do want to try working out again tomorrow and staying on track with my daily stuff. I do realize that my health has to come first. This is not just a headache, this can be dangerous if I do not do something because I already almost hurt myself this morning.

The mom contacted my therapist and I finally have a meeting with her at two this afternoon. It has been a month since I have talked to her. She is not my favorite person but I want to make sure she has written record of what happened on the mom's birthday. I know she is not a doctor but I also want her opinion on my current situation.

I do not want to leave the house in case of illness but I do want to make sure I am alright. I also sometimes feel like I need to be monitored. I have a variety of mental health issues that have let to some wild behaviors. This affects my physical health. Sometimes I think I need more outside help to make sure I am doing things right.

I might have a med check up soon with my actual doctor. It will be over the phone but maybe if I am not feeling better by then I can tell her what is going on. This really is so unpleasant. I am doing my best not to vomit because that will bring bad thoughts. At the same time I want to hurl just to see if it might help.

I feel so freaking sick. I almost want to cry. I would have someone else front for a bit but I would not want anyone else to experience this. I tried watching Moana last night for Sweetpea because she is so obsessed. She fronted for two minutes and felt so sick she had to go back inside. I feel so bad.

I do not want to sit here and just complain but this is taking up all my mental capacity. I would not wish this on anybody. I am so sick. I can not keep typing. I need to lie down before I vomit. I will see you tomorrow.