Journal

5/5/20

5/5/20- Good morning journal. I am back after a really long break from school (four whole days). I realized that there is only about twenty days left of school and I am very very happy about that. I am ready to not have to do school work.

This weekend was not that bad. The dad and brother left Friday morning which was amazing. I drove the mom around because we needed to pick up some stuff and then we got Subway. I love sandwiches so I was in freaking heaven. Saturday was kind of the same.

The moms best friend had a social distancing happy hour that I went to. I just layed in the grass in the sun the whole time. Some woman came and she said ¨What are you on, the quarantine diet? You're getting so skinny. It's a compliment. Take the compliment¨ but the way she said it did not sound very friendly and it was kinda random.

After that the uncle decided he wanted to have a birthday dinner for us so we went over there. I had an insanely bad headache so jumping on a trampoline while getting hit by pool noodles was not my ideal night. I love my little cousins so I sucked it up. My uncle made broccoli but he only used like a cup of broccoli so everyone only had like three pieces.

The mom made cheesy potatoes which was great. The uncle also made these little steak things. It was disgusting. The meat was straight up cold and sweet. I sucked it up and ate it but damn it was not my favorite. I was lucky to eat though. He also made a lot of rude comments about my boyfriend because he has no parents. The uncle is an asshole.

Sunday was decent too. The mom worked from six in the morning to one. She brought home chipotle and that was my lunch/dinner. We watched a documentary about Cynthia Brown and she took a nap. I drove her to pick up a new chair because the dad broke his. Then she went back to work from six to eleven so I spent most of the day alone.

She was home most of the day yesterday but she left around 2:30 to work. It was nice because we had time to relax alone in the house. Kodi made us the most delicious banana muffins. I have eaten like four so far. We were not home alone for long though because the dad and brother came back around 5.

Before I describe what happened there first let me tell you that the mom went to donate plasma on Friday. While she was gone I decided that it was now or never and I shaved my head. She was not mad and even did touch ups when she got home. My whole head is around ¼ of an inch. My hair is super thin and you can definitely see that now. It still looks good though and it is just hair so it will grow back.

Most people said I looked really good. Some people really forced a good opinion about it. My grandma was pretty upset when I called her and told her but I am sure that when she sees me she will be fine with it. The brother came home and instantly said I was ugly. The dad came home and was tired but in a good mood. He talked to me a bit about all the work they got done and never mentioned my hair. I do not know if he actually noticed or not because I left after five minutes.

I think once my hair grows out a bit more I will really love it. I so badly want to dye it but I know it will be swimming time soon and swimming and being in the sun will make it fade faster. I also want to give my hair another nice long break from dyeing it so it can grow a bit. Once we go back to school I will definitely dye it again.

I think I will have an amazing back to school glow up. I started a two week shred challenge and so far it is going great. I started on Saturday so today was day four. I weighed myself this morning because I was curious. I lost two pounds and one inch off my waist. Before you say that is not healthy or that's a lot there are other factors. I started drinking a gallon of water a day again and that includes drinking lemon tea and water to help with bloating.

I also am working to cut out sweets again. I have not had a sweet since Friday (I had mochi ice cream and it was so good) and I think my craving for sweets is almost gone now. Hopefully that craving is fully gone soon and I no longer eat junk food with the family. I am 90% sure that that is the biggest reason my weight has not dropped much since quarantine. There are definitely other factors but all the junk food has to be the biggest reason.

My skin is also glowing now so that is another plus. My acne is starting to go away and I hope I can get really clear skin before school starts again. I have high hopes but damn do I want to live my best life for the last two years of high school. Everyone who used to bully me, call me fat, call me ugly, or just generally be an arse to me will definitely regret it. All the fake people will be revealed.

You probably think that won't happen but trust me my school is like that. You get picked on if you look like you eat food like a healthy person. The second you start being skinnier the second everyone takes back what they said and tries to be nice to you. It happened before when I lost weight and now that I am actually losing it in a healthy way and I am getting toned I bet it will happen again.

Most people did not recognize me after not seeing me for a week so most people will probably forget who I am by the beginning of next year. The only reason people might start to remember me is if they see me hanging out with my boyfriend because everybody knows who I am dating. People might think he moved on though so maybe I will have a mostly new start.

Enough daydreaming. I will leave you at that so I can finish the rest of my classes. I like this class best but sadly I can not talk to you all day. I will see you tomorrow.