Journal

6/4/20

6/4/20- Good morning journal. Only one more day after this. It is a bit hard to believe. I am really gonna miss writing here. Perhaps I will start doing this again on my own time. I really hope I do. I have learned a lot about myself from typing here.

I do not know if I will make it to 100 pages. It is quite possible that the last couple of pages are me just rewriting things I have written before but for other classes. Or maybe I can come up with my own prompts and just go from there and write as much as I can.

This morning has been quite strange. I slept in till about six and then sat on my phone for about 45 minutes. I knew the mom was at work but I was expecting to get upstairs and see the dad. He was not there. His door was open but he was not in his room. He was not on the dock either and both his and the brothers boats were there.

He called in yesterday to take a vacation day. He did not want to work. He said he was gonna stay home and play with me again. I think he ended up going. Normally he would be home by now though and I would have heard him. I have no idea what he is up to today.

Yesterday I went to go upstairs to do dishes and get a snack and I saw him sprawled out on the dock with the big dog. We layed in the sun for a bit and then I went inside to do what I wanted to do earlier. He came inside and asked for my help. The mom had lost the only key to my car and we could not find it anywhere. So he decided to try and break into the car.

It was unsuccessful and we had a lot of cars drive by looking worried. Eventually our neighbor who used to be the dads best friend came over. He said when he got his new truck he left the key inside. He told us the sheriff will come and open the car for free and that we are one of the last counties to have that.

So we called the sheriff and he was there in like five minutes. I did not really like relying on the police for help with everything going on right now. But at least he came over and did it for free. He also had a pink pole that he used so at least I got to have a good laugh at him. I got all the stuff out of my car from our fishing trip so long ago.

I also threw away all the junk on the floor and in compartments. I took out everything that was not important out of the glove box. I found like fifteen pairs of glasses. The middle console in my car has an old box of altoids, an android phone charger, and all the glasses I found. I decided I could just reorganize that when I get my license and set up my car the way I want it.

I found a lot of pictures and cards in her car. One envelope had a letter from an old friend that kind of broke my heart. She told my grandma off for talking about her behind her back and calling her a bitch while she is sober. It hurts knowing she cut off her friends and talked about them so rudely. All her friend did was get sober. My grandmas best friend drank herself to death. Her boyfriend drank himself to death.

I never really knew her boyfriend that well. To be honest I do not know if they were actually together or if that was just a joke. But I do know I saw him around her apartment a lot as a kid and he was very nice. Her best friend was amazing though. She had this scooby doo toy that we would always play with when I came over. She also had a pastel rainbow jellyfish that I loved.

She had twins as well. They were both girls though and they were a lot older than me. They were so beautiful and nice. I spent so much time playing with them. They had a dog too and we had a blast together. She was an amazing woman with an amazing family. She died too soon. Alcohol poisoning is brutal.

She found Opa passed out in the snow and had to call 911 to get him to a hospital. He tried drinking himself to death so many times. I think he resents her for saving him. He has never been a happy man. I am glad he is alive but I do not think he should be. This world is not a place for him.