|Missing Love|

Chapter 41

*Shelby's P.O.V*

Walkers had broken into Alexandria and I was in my house that I share with Alden as I held Adam.

I should be out there. But nothing is telling me to actually go out there.

Between taking care of Adam and worrying about Alden, nothing in my life right now feels right. I feel empty. How am I handling it right now?

I'm handling it very badly.

Aaron has been a very good older brother to me and he's been there for me since I got back to Alexandria.

He's trying his best to help me get through this.

But you don't just go through it. This feeling of being worried for someone consumes you and you have no idea what to do. Alden is in the church alone and I'm not with him even though I should be.

I can't even sleep at night. I'm running low on hours of sleep and I just wish Alden was here.

But he's not.

It's so damn hard and it gets so complicated.

I'm trying to be strong for Adam even though I know he misses his dad too.

If I'm ever in the shower or just the bathroom in general, I do let out cries. I don't cry in the bedroom because that is where Adam is sleeping and I don't want to wake him up.

I crave Alden's touch, his smell, his presence, his whole being.

I'm really hoping that he returns home soon.

While I was looking at the window, I saw my brother with Carol, Rosita, Lydia, and Jerry and I figured that I would go over to them.

With Adam in my arms still, I walked out of the house and walked over to them. I stood next to Rosita.

"The walls are getting fragile since they broke through, they're getting anxious." Rosita said.

"Any update on tools?" Carol asked.

No one said anything.

"And we're back to square one on food." Rosita said.

"What about Hilltop?" Aaron asked. "Maybe some of the blacksmithing tools survived the fire."

Ah, blacksmithing. It makes me think of Alden since he's a blacksmith.

"A few of us could make a run." Carol said.

"And if there's nothing left?" Rosita asked. "If we can't make Alexandria safe then we need to look at other options."

"Alexandria's our home." My brother said, "I'm not ready to abandon ship, not yet. I'm gonna fight to save it first."

I followed my brother. "You're going to go out there?"

He nodded. "We need to do everything we can to save this place."

"I know."

Aaron eyed me for a second before he said, "Maybe you would want to come with me and the group. It can get your mind off of what's happening."

"I'd rather die of thirst." I said.

"Come on, we can use your help."

"And what's the point of me being out there?" I asked him. "There's no point. Because if I'm out there then I'm gonna wanna go and see Alden."

"Alden would want you to help us. Plus, your ankle is slowly healing. You've been elevating it so you can join us."

"I just wanna see Alden." I said, sadly.