𝔹𝔼𝔸𝕌𝕋𝕐 ~ S. Lopez

Let Me Help

Shawn

I sigh letting the water fall down my head. "You okay love? You've been in there for a while" Santana asks and I sigh. "Yeah. I'm alright" I hate lying to her but I just can't do this to her again. I turn off the water then dry myself off with my towel. I get on my clothes and go straight to the kitchen. I grab all the chips and snacks that I bought and bring them into the room. I turn off the lights and lay down turning on the TV. Santana walks into the room and sees the state I'm in making her frown. "Did you take-"

"No"

"I'll go get them" she says going to leave the room

"No. Leave the pills. I don't need em" she sighs and moves to sit next to me. "Shawn, I know you don't like taking them. But you need to. You need to. Please" I scoff and sit up. "What I need to do is leave. And I think what you understand what I mean by that" she gulps looking down at her lap. "Just let me help you. Please" I roll my eyes getting off the bed and leaving the room. Santana follows me into the kitchen. "God can't you just leave me alone?"

"No. You're not okay. I don't want you doing something you'll regret" she states earning the attention from Rachel and Kurt. "Dead people don't have regrets" I say with a shrug moving to sit on the couch. "Shawn!"

"What? It's true. You think any dead person is regretting the thing they did ten years ago? No. They're in heaven, or hell, trying to figure out 'how the hell did I get here'. That's what dead people have" I look over at Santana who has crossed her arms and is now starring at the floor. "Shawn you need to take the pills" Rachel says moving to sit next to me. "I don't have to do shit. Those pills are bullshit. They're not gonna stop my thoughts. They never have"

"Uh I-I'm gonna go and get something. I'll be back" I hum as Santana leaves the apartment. "She just wants to help you" Kurt says and I scoff. "I don't need help" he gives me a look making me roll my eyes. "Judge me all you want. But how about we talk about the fact that you cheated on that new boy toy of yours with Blaine?"

"Shawn don't do tha-"

"Oh and Rachel. How about how you cheated on Quinn? Then cheated on Brody with Finn? Yeah" she crosses her arms and stands up. "You know nothing about what happened. You were too busy doing God knows what with Santana"

"And Quinn" she furrows her eyebrows and shakes her head. "W-What?" 

"And Quinn. You mean I was too busy doing God knows what with Santana and Quinn" Rachel shakes her head looking down. "I know you're not yourself right now. I know that. But you have no idea how much you're hurting the people who love you" Rachel states then storms off into her room. "Rachel you can calm down you're not winning an Oscar. There's no category for 'caring'"

Kurt throws the pills into my lap then stands up. "Take the fucking pills Shawn. If you don't something bad is going to happen. And I know you don't want that" he grabs his jacket and leaves the apartment making me roll my eyes. "Fine. I'll watch Dance Moms by myself"

Santana

"Can I get a strawberry cheesecake and a chocolate milkshake?" the guy nods and I pull out my wallet. "You okay Ms?" I sigh and shrug. "Just relationship stuff. Mental health" he nods as I hand him the money. "Can I give you some advice?"

"Sure"

"We can't force anyone into anything. My dad told me something once. He said 'mental health is not a destination, but a process. It's about how you drive, not where you're going' each time I feel like things are getting to be too much I remember that. Whoever it is that's going through this needs to take their time with their drive. Each person drives differently it's just about if you're safe. Are they safe?"

"I'm not too sure" He hands me the cheesecake and the milkshake. "Thank you. For this, and for the advice. I really appreciate it" he nods and I make my way for the door. "Oh and one more thing. Don't force them. Sit with them, lay with them, and tell that you're there. No matter what. Because sometimes that's all someone needs"

"Thank you" I leave the shop and make my way back to the apartment. Hopefully Shawn's still okay. Not that she was when I left. I open the door making my way inside. I spot Shawn on the couch and I take a deep breath. "Hey" she hums not looking away from the TV. I grab two forks from the kitchen and a straw. I walk over and sit next to her. 

"I'm not forcing you to do anything. I understand that this is a hard process for you, and I'm so sorry if I made it more difficult. So I'm going to let you go through this at the speed you're comfortable with. But know that I'm gonna be by your side for whenever you need me. I love you and I'm not going anywhere" she uses her sleeve to wipe her eyes but as soon as I hold onto her hand she loses all control. "I'm so sorry. I'm so fucking sorry" I pull her towards me holding her tight. "It's okay. Shh" I kiss her head as she continues to cry into my chest. "I've got you"

"Don't leave me. I'm trying" I look up trying to hold back my tears. "I know you are. And I am so proud of you. I promise you that I'm not going anywhere. I'm staying right here with you" she looks up at me and I wipe her eyes with my thumbs. "I love you Santana"

"I love you too. Now I left so I could get you some stuff. Strawberry cheesecake and a chocolate milkshake, extra chocolate" she smiles softly and I put the straw through the hole. "Hey San?" I give her a smile letting her know that I'm listening. "Can you uh feed me the cake. Like you did that one time. It just made me really happy and I wanna feel like that again"

"Of course" I open the box and grab the fork. "Wait" I look over at her and she pulls me to sit on her lap. "Now go" I smile and pick up the box. "Thank you Santana"

"You don't have to thank me. It's what I'm here for"

"Exactly. You're here. That's why I'm saying thank you" I look down with a smile and she kisses my cheek. "I love you San"

"I love you too Shawn"

A/N
If anyone is having issues or needs someone to talk to I'm always here. I appreciate you guys so much. Thank you for reading <3