𝔹𝔼𝔸𝕌𝕋𝕐 ~ S. Lopez

You're Still My Shawn

The moment's here people!!

Shawn

I've been thinking for a long time and I finally know what I've been feeling. I talked to a doctor and I'm going to be taking testosterone starting next week. My voice is going to get deeper, I'll gain some facial hair and body hair, and I'm going to gain some muscle strength. Well more then what I have now cause you know...

"Can I talk to everyone about something?" I ask pausing the movie. "Sure. But Romeo was just about to die" Kurt says rolling his eyes. "Kurt you've seen this stupid thing like a million ties. Leo's immortal" 

"I don't know how to say this exactly so I'm just gonna say it. Santana you can choose weither or not you want to stay with me or not. I'd respect your decision. After a long time of trying to figure out what I want I finally understand. I've never really felt like a girl at times in my life. I've been talking to people who have been in my position and they've really helped me understand what's happening with me. I've never felt like a girl because I want to be a guy. And San I know that this is gonna be hard for you. It may be hard for all of you but I'm the same person I was before and I'll always be the same person. All that changes is what I identify as. I'm going to be taking testosterone starting next week. I hope you all understand and I understand if I'm no longer welcome to stay here" I take a breath and sit down on the couch.

"Shawn we all love you. Of course you're welcome here. We wouldn't want it any other way. I know this is hard but I'll be here for you throughout everything. And I know Kurt will too" Rachel says coming to sit next to me along with Kurt. "San?" she doesn't say anything making me sigh. "I understand"

"Shawn I love you. I'm not going anywhere. You're still my fiancé. I'm here to stay" I look up to see her smiling at me. "You're really not leaving? You still want to be with me?" Santana nods with a smile and comes to sit on my lap. "You're still my Shawn. The one I fell in love with. And yeah you're gonna change but that doesn't change the way I feel about you. I'm in love with you. Always and forever"

I look up at Santana and she places her hands in my hair. "You really mean that? You're okay with this. With me?" she nods and kisses me softly. "Nothing changes the fact that I feel in love with you. Your stupid jokes, your laugh, your smile, your amazing personality. And even after you're still gonna be Shawn. And if you wanna change your name then you'll by my something. But you'll be mine"

"I love you San" I mumble and she wipes my eyes. "I love you too Shawn. I always will" she leans down while Rachel and Kurt join in on the hug

___

So we all took a week off when my stuff came. Everyone's going back to Ohio for the week so I can talk to everyone else too. Unique will be really happy. She helped me a lot when I still wasn't sure

"Hey Shawn nice to see you" Mr. Schue says shaking my hand. "I know we graduated but could we maybe stick around this week?" I ask making Mr. Schue smile. "Of course you can. Stay as long as you want Shawn" I smile and we make our way to the back of the class. "Where are they?!" I hear someone shout

I chuckle and turn around too see Brittany running towards me. "Shawny!" she hugs me tightly with a smile. "Hey Britt. How are you?" I ask and she groans. "Me and Grace are finally okay. But you need to tell your brother to fuck off because he's getting on my nerves" she leads me towards the chairs and sits me down next to her

Soon the room is full and Mr. Schue is ready to do another lesson about some lif thing that he's having. "Alright everyone. Welcome back. Now this week we welcome back some of our own. Shawn, Rachel, Kurt, and Santana" 

"Now as some of you may know Shawn has made a very important decision. So Shawn, you wanna come up and tell everyone?" I stand up and walk over to the front. "Schue when have you ever given me a choice?" he laughs and takes a seat next to Artie. "Okay so I'm keeping this short and sweet cause I'm hella tired. I'm transitioning. My name is still Shawn, thank my parents for something gender neutral. My prounous are now he/him and yes. I will be getting a beard and a new haircut cause I feel like it"

"Beard?" Santana asks with a smile. I nod with a laugh. "Yeah. A beard"

"Yes" she whispers making me smile. I'm really glad she's okay with this. I don't ever want to make her uncomfortable. "So how do you like, get the beard?" Jake asks and I can tell he's just genuinely curious. "Testosterone. So what you were born with I'm injecting into my ass once every two weeks"

"Anymore questions?" I ask and a few people raise their hands. "None? Great. Schuester he floor is yours" I sit back down next to Santana and she kisses my cheek. "Hey" Kitty whispers getting my attention. "That's really brave of you. People aren't really the most open but you're able to stand there and just tell people exactly what's going on and that's what makes you my personal hero"

"Come on. Hero's a bit of a stretch. Amazing person who could literally stop time? That's what I am" she laughs and nods. "Yeah you are. Now shut up. Sneaker's talking" Kitty turuns back around and I smile softly. "She's right you know. You've done this while a lot of people are still scared to just come out as gay and that is what makes you amazing"

"Santana Lopez you manage to make me fall harder every single day" 

___

We just got to Santana's house and now I'm going to take my first shot. I fill up the needle and hand it to Santana. "Alright hottie. Ass out" I chuckle and pull down my boxers just a little bit. She sticks the needle in and I wince. I fucking hate needles. After a couple of seconds it's out and she's throwing out the metal. I pull up my pants and Santana wraps her arms around my waist from behind. "So... how do you feel handsome?" I feel myself blush at the name and look down

"I feel good. And I'm really happy that you're here. It means a lot to me" she smiles and kisses my neck. "I'm always going to be here. I love you so much. Now why don't we take a nap?" I nod quickly and lay on the bed pulling her on top of me

"So about the beard? Do you have an idea on how soon this would grow so I can prepare myself for absolute perfection?"

A/N

It's a little short but it's basically just showing Shawn's first steps. Thank you for reading <3